When health fails...

[Neverlosehope]

Hello everyone....im not a nurse but id like to add a few words to show my appreciation for all the nurses who have helped me the last 5 years of my life.

Im in my late 30s and i became a chronic cardiac patient about 5 years ago. I have sick sinus syndrome...svt..nsvt..at/af..and a pacemaker! Ive also had part of my lung removed which they thought was cancer but thnk goodness it was not.

Ive been hospitalized for c diff...pneumonia (which they thought was tb so i was in isolation)

...kidney failure from low perfusion with metabolic acidosis i was in intensive care unit on pressors my bp was like 50/30 and bags upon bags of fluid etc. Once i was in hospital for a hr in the 20s and 30s (before pacemaker). Also hospitalized for a pulmonary embolism.

My pacemaker interrogations routinely show about 350 episodes of svt a few at/af and 140 episodes of nsvt. Now my nsvt is worsening to sometimes 28 seconds long. Im frequently in the ER with heart palps. I take 400 mg of metoprolol now which has greatly greatly reduced all episodes but i still feel bad almost everyday.

I would like to share how nurses have helped me so much and im so grateful for all the nurses i have had from the doctor offices to the ER nurses to the floor nurses.

Ive been on the CCU..ICU..telemetry..med/surgical..recovery units. Of course every unit is a lil different.

Ill just start from the top. When i was hospitalized for c diff at the time i had never been so sick before. Its a humiliating...horrible disease to have. It was so incredibly painful to. I had constant bms..couldnt eat much..horrible stomach cramps...it was beyond embarrasing to. One time i was rocking back and forth on the edge of my bed and a group of student nurses and their leader were at the door talking about my condition and the leader asked if i was ok and gowned up and sat beside me and talked to me and got me some pain meds. I depended on the nurses for so much and they never complained or made me feel bad about being sick. It was the first time i realized that i was so sick i needed help to do activities of daily living and boy was it humbling. I was sssoooooooo grateful my nurses were there.

A short time later i had pneumonia which they thought might be tb so i was in isolation. It was sad to see ppl had to gown up with face masks and all the gear to be around me. I kind of felt like a leper lol but everyone tried so hard make me feel better. I was in a back room isolated and it was hard being alone and cut off. The nurses got me thru it though!

A year or 2 later i was in icu with the kidney failure caused from low perfusion. I went to the ER because i was vomitting could not keep water down...pain...and heart flip flopping around. My bp was so low...my lactic acid was high ...so they had to put in 2 ivs and call life flight to transport me to the main hospital. I remember the life flight nurses were all men they were strong ppl and they were so polite and i felt safe that nothing bad would happen. They kept monitoring all my stats and talking to me asking me questions.

I got to the icu and everyone was running around the room. There were 2 male nurses taking my clothes off and washing me with orange stuff everywhere and i do mean everywhere. At that time i felt confused and i didnt know what was happening or why i was getting a sponge bath but the nurses explained everything as they worked. I dont remember what i said. I do remember asking to get up to go the bathroom (i couldnt stand and i had no urine lol) and one nurse said they have no bathroom only bed pans and i was horrified at that. Lololol. Such strange thoughts and memories go thru your mind when your really sick. I remember thinking i just needed some gatorade and all would be well. So im laying there all hooked up to many monitors and i never felt so out of control and helpless in my life. It was incredibly scary. My lactic acids got up to 9!!! I had some infection and they were trying to find the source.( it ended up being my 3rd pacemaker infection). So i just laid in bed and i felt very alone but my nurse was always close by and that brought me much comfort. He always explained out loud anything he did. Eventually i was trasfered to a step down unit where i started having massive pulmonary edema and 3rd spacing. It ended up that my bp kept tanking and then i couldnt breathe suddenly so the CNA (?) Called for help and my nurse and many other ppl showed up i was put on oxygen and starting to thrash around with my arms but i could not breathe and i was freaking out. What got me thru that were the unknown nurses from the rapid response team (?) one held my arms in a bear hug and one was beside me very close telling me "just breathe thru your nose slowly breathe...breathe again..breathe...." she comforted me so much and kept me from freaking out. My stats were coming up and they whisked me away back to the icu. I was given pressors and all sorts of tests. Eventually i went to the cardiac unit again and they thought i was having s-t elevations so the nurses were in my room thru out the night. Everybody was so kind. I truly needed all their help and the nurses helped me to get better. It was horrible being so helpless and dependant but i will never forget the nurses who helped me. Im extremely appreciative to all the doctors and cnas to.

Before all this .....one time on the floor of my apartment. I couldnt stand up without passing out and had to call an ambulance. They found me on the floor with a very low heart rate. That was scary.

My point is in saying all of this that your job really does matter. It means so much to ppl who are sick. Your very presence in the rooms to me provided strength and comfort. Some hospital experiences i didnt have any visitors or family help....only the nurses. It meant alot to me the few mins of extra help...the way u guys helped when i couldnt even shower or go to the bathroom by myself...or walking beside me when i took tiny steps like a baby walking down the halls of the unit. U did much to give me dignity when i lost my "able bodied" status for a while and in our society boy that is hard to deal with mentally.

Thank u all soooooooooooooo very much!!!!!! Never lose hope cuz u all make a real difference to the ppl u help. We never forget our nurses or doctors who help us thru our worst times even though we might not remember the names we never forget how u made us feel better. Bear hugs to everyone! ♡

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Thank you for this. It's patients like you that make the job worth all the physical and mental hard work. I hope your health improves to the point where you don't need us. :)

[Daisy4RN]

So sorry to hear what you went through. Thank-you for all the kind words to nurses everywhere. Most nurses do no hear the kind words and thanks, your appreciation helps us all to continue on. Hope you are doing, and stay well!!