What is something you wish patients, families and/or your coworkers knew about you?

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Specializes in Rehab/Nurse Manager.

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If there was one thing you wish your patients, their family members or your coworkers knew about you, what would it be? 

For me, I wish people realized that I am just one person.  Not a super human, just a regular human being.  I cannot be or do the job of 5 people at once.  I'm sorry, but I can't solve everyone's problems.   And no, I'm not available 24/7.  

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
13 hours ago, SilverBells said:

If there was one thing you wish your patients, their family members or your coworkers knew about you, what would it be? 

For me, I wish people realized that I am just one person.  Not a super human, just a regular human being.  I cannot be or do the job of 5 people at once.  I'm sorry, but I can't solve everyone's problems.   And no, I'm not available 24/7.  

Before I comment on my own "What I wish people knew about me,) I just have to say and I mean this in the most supportiive way that what you describe above is the direct result of having poor boundaries. One thing I have learned is the importance of healthy boundaries in life. You set the tone for how you allow people to treat you. If you refused to take so much on it would force others to rise to their full potential. Granted skilled and SNF work are some of the hardest nursing jobs (Been there, Done that) but when I started saying no to managements every whim others had to pick up the pace. When management pushed back I quit knowing that there were plenty of nursing jobs out there. 

Now the thing I wish people knew about me is that I was not always the person I am today - Who I am comes from a place of deep hurt and that my strength was forged on the anvil of adversity.

 

Hppy   

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Not a thang, SilverBells.

One thing that I'm really glad that they never learned about me is that they were not punishing me when they refused to socially interact with small talk or ignored me as they went about their business doing their thang.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Actually I have very firm boundaries when it comes to patients and coworkers. This thread is better for me if said "what I wish coworkers and patients did NOT know about me" as some are so nosy and pry in ways that I feel are inappropriate.

I share very little about my personal life with folks cause I have learned in the past it has come back to bite me. They know I have a wonderful husband and amazing family and a bit of showing off of my grandkids and pets.

That is it.

The rest is my business alone. I am a good small talker but I keep it very light and very non-specific. I listen more than I speak to them.

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

I also kept a very low profile at work and didn’t share with others unless it was something I felt could possibly help them (ie I have been through that also…). I think your question pertains more to what you wish that patients/families knew about your job and what they can expect. I suggested more than once to admin that we have info available so people would have realistic expectations of the role of the nurse, time expectations etc. I am sure you can imagine how admin responded! 

On 2/26/2022 at 2:22 PM, Davey Do said:

One thing that I'm really glad that they never learned about me is that they were not punishing me when they refused to socially interact with small talk or ignored me as they went about their business doing their thang.

Exactly, and the patients who would “threaten” to leave AMA if they didn’t get their way. Well bye then, don’t let the door hit you in the @&$ on the way out.

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Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.

I share with people what I want them to know. If it's not relevant to our relationship as nurse/patient, or nurse/family member, or coworker, then I probably have no desire for them to know.

As you get a little older maybe, or you develop the self-confidence to know that you deserve respect, you will hopefully find the voice to say it. People cannot read minds, and people generally do not put as much thought into others as themselves. You need to use your voice and remind people that you are available at appropriate times as related to your job, and if there are unreasonable expectations you can communicate that professionally. Perhaps you would benefit from a position with more clearly defined boundaries built into it. It sounds as though much of your work life disrupts your personal time, you might benefit from a job that you can leave at work. Good luck.

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Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.

I want my patients to know as little as possible about me, but so much more about nursing and the hospital environment in general. For example, no, some of these labs can't wait until tomorrow, or yes, I really do need to wake you every two hours to look at your pupils. I like to think I'm good at educating people about these things, as well as clustering care when possible, but sometimes it just doesn't stick.

For my coworkers, since I'm fairly new, I wish they knew that I haven't always been a crabby person and genuinely have nothing against them; I'm simply exhausted and, in all honesty, not a good fit on this unit. I think I can come off as a little short sometimes, which I am working on and have gotten better at - but even with the improvement I've made in that area, I'm still not always particularly friendly or open. But despite that, I am genuinely happy to help when they need it!

On 2/25/2022 at 10:45 PM, SilverBells said:

For me, I wish people realized that I am just one person.  Not a super human, just a regular human being.  I cannot be or do the job of 5 people at once.  I'm sorry, but I can't solve everyone's problems.   And no, I'm not available 24/7.  

In my humble experience, once I stopped expecting this of myself, it became easier to set the expectation for others. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking, "Well, I *could* intervene," while not acknowledging our own limitations and our desires for a meaningful life outside of work. When you are frustrated and resentful of work for expecting so much of you, it's a sure sign that you need to set and hold a boundary - probably in a much earlier place than you thought.

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Specializes in ICU, travel.

I cannot accept tips for nursing, but yes, this suitcase *is* full of merch from my comedy show, and yes, patients and their families get a discount! 

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

There was a man reputed to be one of the best automobile drivers known. Despite driving in heavy traffic and hazardous situations, he had never had an MVA. When asked how he was able to have never had an accident, he replied,

"I just assume that everybody out there driving is crazy".

NightNerd's post mentioned expectations, which caused me to review my own perceptions. When I began to expect every patient to react like a victim and every peer, coworker, & administrative person to be a selfish, self-serving, entitled individual, my expectations were regularly met.

However, if the opposite was the case, I rebelled in the knowledge that there are some quality individuals out there.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

I suppose the level of patient's interest in our personal lives kind of depends on the work setting. In the traditional hospital setting you aren't usually establishing a long term relationship with the patient so there's little beyond the basics that a patient is likely to be interested in.  But if you work in a setting like LTC or in my case a dialysis clinic we see the same patients all the time so of course after a little while many want to get to know their regular staff better.  Sometimes that leads to personal questions that definitely cross the line into "nosy" territory.

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Specializes in Occupational Health Nursing.

That I also worry about the safety and health of my family, ALL THE TIME. 

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Ditto to what SmilingBluEyes said above. When you hear your coworkers gossping about others, guess what? They are doing the same about you! I really have to get to know and trust someone before I will share more than my dog's recent shenanigans. Likewise, it's important for me to keep that therapeutic relationship with patients. I'm friendly and kind, but I don't need to tell you what I'm doing over the weekend.

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