What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

Christmas Day 2 years ago, I was working triage, my first Christmas in the ER. I started out the day thinking "people will only come in if it's a real emergency today". Ha!

--5 day old baby with ingrown toenails

--female with "bump" on breast

--about 25 people who had small cuts from scissors from opening gifts, none of which were close to needing sutures

--"bump" on back (turned out to be a zit)

--person saw something hanging in back of his throat. Congratulations, you just discovered your uvula!

I find this stuff too hilarious to be mad.

A mother brought her 3 day old infant in because she found her 9 year old nephew sucking on the infant's umbilical cord. My thought was, I'd be more concerned about the 9 year old.

A mother brought her 3 day old infant in because she found her 9 year old nephew sucking on the infant's umbilical cord. My thought was, I'd be more concerned about the 9 year old.

Yeah ! Wonder if he was eating it with a side of Fava beans? :chair:

Z

I will never forget calling 911 for my Dad, who I thought was having an M.I. After giving the dispatcher explicit directions to our home, I sent my daughter outside to watch for them. She watched as the drove past the first cross street, then back up, came down it, then went down the wrong street, then another wrong street, despite my daughter flashing our front light off and on (you could see everything becuase of the circular roads and the lack of many homes). Thank heavens my Dad was alright.

911 is one of the best systems every instituted. It is some of the dispatchers and some of the firemen that need a little work :rolleyes:

Grannynurse :balloons:

A lot of times, the dispatchers just don't give all of the information to the rescue squad. They will assume that we know where we are going or not want to take the time to give us a cross street. I called 911 for an MVA once and told dispatch that we needed two ambulances, that one patient was unconscious and not breathing, and that one had profuse bleeding...they paged it out as an MVA, unknown injuries. They also wanted to ask a million questions like my phone number, address, etc...finally just told them I am a paramedic and was going to hang up because people needed help...

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.
Yeah ! Wonder if he was eating it with a side of Fava beans? :chair:

You forgot, "And a nice Chianti"

A lot of times, the dispatchers just don't give all of the information to the rescue squad. They will assume that we know where we are going or not want to take the time to give us a cross street. I called 911 for an MVA once and told dispatch that we needed two ambulances, that one patient was unconscious and not breathing, and that one had profuse bleeding...they paged it out as an MVA, unknown injuries. They also wanted to ask a million questions like my phone number, address, etc...finally just told them I am a paramedic and was going to hang up because people needed help...

I see you that one and raise you :beer: My frying pan caught fire and I could put it out. It also set my microwave on fire. I called 911 (that had the automatic address thing) She kept asking me questions, even when I told her I was having trouble breathing. To make a long story short, I ended up spending three days in the hospital due to smoke inhalation :p

But then I had a dispatcher who remained on the line, with me, until the paramedics got there. Then called my daughter, in Tennessee. She was a real nice lady :)

Grannynurse :balloons:

Have had a NH that was sent to ER for constipation, and was admitted. Abd, soft, nontender, BS x4, no n/v.

Had an ER from a different hospital call the desk demanding info on a pt on my floor. Turns out the man was admitted for headache, was r/o viral meningitis, and he had called ALL his family and friends and told them that "you need to go to the nearest ER for a shot, I've exposed you, and this is life or death!!!". The ER had over 20 frantic people who showed up for "exposure to viral meningitis." I referred that call to my supervisor, I was very leery about HIPAA implications. BTW, viral meningitis was ruled out, and pt was re-educated on his treatment plan by me, the super, the MD, and the infection control committee nurse who (luckily for me) happened to be working late that night.

we had a lady come in over the weekend presenting with what she initially termed "marbles in her uterus" that turned out to be two wooden eggs (yes, the size of small chicken eggs) inserted in the lady parts by pt and her partner that were for purposes of sexual gratification?!?! The eggs could not be removed except to be extracted with forceps by the MD.

AND.....MEDICAID is being billed for this, of course!!!!

A couple enjoying some romance had a rough night many years ago in NYC. She had vaginismus and he had priapism.. Not funny in reality, dangerous for the man for sure, but surely not an everyday occurance!

we had a guy stick a remote control up his butt. had to get it surgically removed. i mean i guess he had a valid reason to be there after the fact...but why and how?..

Maybe his SO said "if you change that channel one more time, I'm gonna shove that up your..." I know it's what I've wanted to do more than once.:roll

well, here goes. i worked in an er in a small community a short time ago and a couple of cases come to mine. on one occassion i had the pleasure of taking a young girl to the back and when i asked what she was being seen for she told me that she had given oral sex to a guy and now she wanted to know if she had contracted a std. on another night that i was not working,,, thank god! a very drunk woman who was found in a ditch was brought in and much to the nurses surprise,,,,,,,a dead frog was found in the woman's lady parts, just the legs sticking out, all dried up. :eek:

i recall a case that wasn't as ridiculous as it was just gross. a pt came in who had a carcinoma on the scalp approxiately the size of a lemon. there were many crevices and folds in it... all of which were crawling full of magots. that was a fun irrigation and pluck. i got stuck with it because none of the other nurse could stomach it.

we have a ton of things i could talk forever about that should never be seen in an er. alaska is medicaid capital of the world. but one interesting thing is our hooks.

the kenai peninsula is regarded as the best salmon/ halibut fishing in the world-literally. we get alot of tourists with fishooks in various places, mostly the face and neck. last two years the month of july (red season) we had over 100. this year we are shy at about 90.not an emergency, but most ppl dont have the cahones to pull them themselves.

we also get a lot of sinker injuries.

the weight comes flying out of the water at mach speed and nails the guy behind you right smack in the eyeball. i've seen a lot of nasty faces because of that...

the best fish hook incident i had the pleasure of caring for was from a very embarassed man who had a hook in his side,, he happened to be a professional bass fisherman.

Maybe his SO said "if you change that channel one more time, I'm gonna shove that up your..." I know it's what I've wanted to do more than once.:roll

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I can sort of relate...

Also, On Thanksgiving Day I envision the ED being full of lacerations resulting from miscarving turkeys. Is this often the case or not?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I can sort of relate...

Also, On Thanksgiving Day I envision the ED being full of lacerations resulting from miscarving turkeys. Is this often the case or not?

Actually, more likely the local moron brothers getting into over a football game and one shot the other in the gut. I was very burnt out OR nurse and also not a Christian when I was called in for such as that, and jerk-boy had the audacity to c/o that he hadn't eaten dinner yet!

I told him tough @#$%, thanks to him, neither had I.:rotfl:

Would be a liitle kinder and gentler now, I'd tell him "tough turkey":D

+ Join the Discussion