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What Does #MeToo Really Mean?

Nurses Article   (1,635 Views 18 Replies 1,637 Words)

SafetyNurse1968 has 20 years experience as a ADN, BSN, MSN, PhD and specializes in Oncology, Home Health, Patient Safety.

10 Followers; 38 Articles; 13,884 Visitors; 214 Posts

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This article (presented in two parts) discusses the #MeToo movement, including notes from a talk I attended by Tarana Burke, founder of the movement, as well as support and resources for nurses. This article acknowledges that nurses are often wounded warriors – providing services to those who have survived sexual assault and harassment while often being survivors themselves. You are reading page 2 of What Does #MeToo Really Mean?. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

HomeBound has 20 years experience and specializes in ED, ICU, Prehospital.

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So tell me--because we are going to have to agree to disagree on this otherwise---

What exactly is "empowering" about a woman or a man showing publishing every inch of their privates for ANYONE WITH AN INTERNET CONNECTION OR A CELLPHONE to access?

What is "empowering" about bragging about going to Cancun, getting wasted and so drunk that there are no memories of events?

I believe you want to misunderstand--because it fits your narrative that "people 'should' be able to 'do whatever they want with impunity'"---which is....delusional. Society has rules, and there is always the basics of biology that overrides societal rules.

I never, ever said that "men can't keep their hands to themselves". I said that if you don't want to be treated as a sex object, don't act like one. When you offer your wares up for free to ANYBODY with an electronic device---this is precisely what you are doing. MAN OR WOMAN. You have now made yourself a commodity---and commodities are bought, sold, and used.

Again, there is not one word that said because you are "proud and secure in your body" you are stupid.

I SAID that if you publish your cleavage or your dicpic for the thousandth time on a public forum---you are lowering yourself to the rank and file of prostitutes and porn stars---but that the prostitutes are smarter because at least they charge for it.

What you simply don't want is any type of societal rule or requirement of conformity---something that also came up in my discussion with my coworkers...and I said as much...

This attitude of "anything goes and nothing matters"---the entitlement that you get to do whatever it is that makes your little heart flutter with joy---and it doesn't matter if it effects anybody else.

Well, whether you like the truth or not, the truth doesn't give a crap---you are responsible for your behavior just like some strange guy is expected to---you behave in a professional, respectable way and you have the right to expect professionalism and respect in return.

You act like a porn star, you'll most likely be treated like one. And that goes for men as well.

Nobody has the right to touch me without my permission. I also don't "dare" anyone to touch me without my permission. I don't advertise myself as cheap and easy. I know my worth and I don't have to publish crotch shots in order to "feel empowered" by slapping some guy down after he has the reaction that was actually expected.

That's not empowerment. We had a word for women like that. And it's not nice.

You can be as proud and secure in your body image as you like. Brava! Do it at home. Without the webcams that stream live into perv guy's basement---and then squeal about how you aren't respected.

I want my son to treat women with respect---and it's a scientific fact that brains aren't hard wired for good or decent judgement until age 25 or so---so what do you want these impressionable young people to understand about relationships, both professional and personal?  No boundaries? It's all okay for all the neighborhood boys to get a look at your daughter's hootie because....empowerment?

Doesn't make sense. I feel sorry for any young person trying to find a moral compass nowadays. There is no leadership---particularly from parents who don't seem to think that allowing their teenagers to paste their privates all over fakebook is an okay thing to do, daring some perv to take them up on their implied offer.

Your body is your business. I don't want to see it, nor do I want my husband, son or friends to see it. Keep it to your proud self. I certainly don't want to see it as your Nurse Manager....and you know the old saying about the Golden Rule.

She who has all the Gold, makes the Rules. You act like a porn star and publish that nonsense? You don't work in my unit. I have high standards for my staff.

And for the record, the comment about "seeing our patients in various stages of undress" was seriously misguided.

These patients aren't publishing their hooties and hoo haws on snapchat. They're sick and injured and expect serious professionals to be caring for them. Not some irresponsible with her own personal bits to be handling their personal bits.

Edited by HomeBound

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SafetyNurse1968 has 20 years experience as a ADN, BSN, MSN, PhD and specializes in Oncology, Home Health, Patient Safety.

10 Followers; 38 Articles; 13,884 Visitors; 214 Posts

On 3/25/2019 at 7:49 PM, HomeBound said:

Want people to have respect for you? Knock it off with the instagram cleavage shots. Knock it off with the snapchat suggestiveness. How about come to work and do your job--keep conversations professional.  We're not impressed. All it makes these people look like is cheap and easy.

HomeBound, I really appreciate the conversation you started by reading and commenting. Your strategy (which includes: not showing cleavage or sharing nude photos on social media, avoiding sexual conversations and reporting sexual harassment in the workplace) appears to be working well for you. It also sounds like you are suggesting that if other people post nude photos on social media, show cleavage or wear tight clothing in public or engage in sexual conversation that they are asking for sexual assault. As much as I applaud your practical reasoning (I hate looking at the bootie shots and pouty lipped selfies all over facebook as well), I can't support this idea. No matter what a person does, no matter how unreasonable or ridiculous it may seem to us, it's never an invitation for sexual assault. It is frustrating to observe behavior we don't condone or understand - when people step outside traditional social norms, it can get uncomfortable.  We might ask, "Why did that person walk to their car alone after dark?" But maybe a better question is, "Why can't a person walk alone to their car after dark...safely?" Here's another one, "Why does that person post nude photos of themselves on Instagram? Do they want someone to think they want to be assaulted?" Turn the question around, "Why can't a person post a nude photo of themselves on Instagram? If I don't like it, I will unfollow or block, and I expect others to do the same." Posting a nude photo is not an invitation for sexual assault, but an expression a person has made of their own personality (personal taste is never something we will all agree on, that's why it's personal). If a person is sexually assaulted the fault lies completely and entirely with the perpetrator/s.  

In the work place, we must all follow professional guidelines outlined in our workplace policies. I applaud that you report any instances of sexual harassment. Reviewing sexual assault guidelines is an excellent way to prevent harassment in the workplace.  How we behave in the workplace is governed by our employers and not by personal taste. 

Notice I am not using any gender specific pronouns here. These rules apply to all humans.

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SafetyNurse1968 has 20 years experience as a ADN, BSN, MSN, PhD and specializes in Oncology, Home Health, Patient Safety.

10 Followers; 38 Articles; 13,884 Visitors; 214 Posts

On 3/26/2019 at 11:03 AM, dspaldrn/emt said:

I am a Man.  This is quite possible the most clear and concise thing I have read on this website in a long time. 

I'm wondering something. Are you suggesting that your gender changes how I might interpret your support of Homebound's statements? If so, how? What impact does you being male have on your appreciation of the comments? Thanks for taking the time to comment and clarify.

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SafetyNurse1968 has 20 years experience as a ADN, BSN, MSN, PhD and specializes in Oncology, Home Health, Patient Safety.

10 Followers; 38 Articles; 13,884 Visitors; 214 Posts

On 3/27/2019 at 4:36 AM, Luckyyou said:

I can be as “cheap and easy” as it comes, post entirely nude shots on my Instagram and Snapchat and still not deserve to be sexually harassed, assaulted or raped. Stop blaming women for men not respecting us. 

I wonder if you meant, "Stop blaming women and men for being sexually assaulted." I believe that other people will judge us on our actions, and will respect or disrespect us based upon personal taste, background, religious stance etc...I can't control what other people think of me. However, no matter what they think of me, whether they respect or disrespect me, they need to keep their hands to themselves. 

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On 3/31/2019 at 6:52 AM, SafetyNurse1968 said:

I'm wondering something. Are you suggesting that your gender changes how I might interpret your support of Homebound's statements? If so, how? What impact does you being male have on your appreciation of the comments? Thanks for taking the time to comment and clarify.

Sorry for taking so long to respond.  

Yes, I believe the prevailing thought is that most men fall on either side of a an extreme spectrum. Either they believe women who dress provocatively and post images on social media are "asking for it" or they fall on the other end of the argument that women can dress and act anyway they chose without any negative response. 

 

As a male, I tend to be right down the middle, you can dress however you want and post what you want on Instagram but it is hard to have respect for anyone, male or female, who objectify themselves for attention and wonder why they get inappropriate comments from the dregs of society. 

 

The vast amount of people on this site are women or identify as women I believe and because of this, it seems that the male perspective is not always voiced in many areas were it would be beneficial.   

 

I found the OP comment to be balanced and expressed both sides of the issue clearly without resorting to pointing fingers at one group. 

I wish we lived in a world were people could wear what they want without the judgement of others. 

I wish we lived in a world were women didnt receive inappropriate advances. 

I wish we lived in a world were I wasnt viewed as a potential predator just because i'm male. 

The only point made by the OP that I dont fully agree on is the idea that women objectifying themselves some how causes rape, It might make you a target for unwanted advances, But rape is not a crime of passion, its a hate crime perpetrated by sick individuals. 

Sexual assault is not a "Womans issue", women are just generally the victim. Sexual assualt is a "Mens Issue", and until men as whole begin to stigmatize unwholesome speech and unwanted advances towards women and actually address the social and family issues that produce men who rape, I'm afraid things wont get better. 

You may interpret my support for the OP comments as this: I'm a male who believes that males should act and treat women in a certain "way" And that the "way" men should treat women should not be determined by men, or the media or through entertainment, But by women. 

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SafetyNurse1968 has 20 years experience as a ADN, BSN, MSN, PhD and specializes in Oncology, Home Health, Patient Safety.

10 Followers; 38 Articles; 13,884 Visitors; 214 Posts

4 hours ago, dspaldrn/emt said:

The only point made by the OP that I dont fully agree on is the idea that women objectifying themselves some how causes rape, It might make you a target for unwanted advances, But rape is not a crime of passion, its a hate crime perpetrated by sick individuals. 

Sexual assault is not a "Womans issue", women are just generally the victim. Sexual assualt is a "Mens Issue", and until men as whole begin to stigmatize unwholesome speech and unwanted advances towards women and actually address the social and family issues that produce men who rape, I'm afraid things wont get better. 

 

Thank you so much for clarifying. It is so nice to read a well thought out comment that addresses all points. You've written thoughtfully, but also, it appears, from the heart. I hope you'll continue to speak up and speak out - until we are able to talk about these subjects openly, without using unkind words and without being triggered, it's going to be tough to communicate. You've modeled that so well! I'd like to give space to anyone who disagrees or has a different opinion, as long as it is expressed in a civil manner. 

Your perspective is much appreciated,

Safety Nurse.

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SafetyNurse1968 has 20 years experience as a ADN, BSN, MSN, PhD and specializes in Oncology, Home Health, Patient Safety.

10 Followers; 38 Articles; 13,884 Visitors; 214 Posts

Part 2 has just been published - please read and comment!

 

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