Un-supportive Influences!!

[TakilaNasirRN]

How do you guys cope with un-supportive people who are constantly distracting you with things? Since I have enrolled in my RN program I have been wanting to do nothing but take care of my children, my husband, and my household and manage the little time that I do have in a day to focus on my homework and my studies or even get 5 damn minutes of ME time to myself without someone blowing up my phone line with BS, dropping by my house, begging me to go out an party or drink, or calling me with their problems and it is frustrating me!! Not to mention that me and my husband are trying to get our savings right to purchase a house. No matter how many times I explain this to people they either pretend to be supportive and still do the same things or become offended and suddenly Im the bad guy for isolating myself. Between my husband, my children, and my friends, I find myself wanting to crawl into a hole and never see daylight again. Im breaking and no one understands. Finishing nursing school is the one thing I want to do for myself and everyone is so selfish! What can I do???

[walksfar75]

I don't answer my door for uninvited guests unless they see me through the window. :) I don't have an answer for you though. I hated every minute of nursing school because it destroyed my soul. But I did get through it, and you will too if you want to. Your real friends will be there in the end. But there is no way that I know of to get outsiders to understand how demanding and horrible the experience is. Hang in there, one day it will be done!

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

I'm sorry but I'm failing to understand your issue. Is this your life or everyone else's? Take control and do what you need to do for you. If people don't understand, sucks to be them as far as I am concerned.

You are the only person living your life. Your happiness is on you and no one else.

[ChrystalAD]

First of all, you have to realize that NOONE understands the unrelenting demands of nursing school unless they've been through it. Secondly, sometimes you have be okay with letting people go for a while. I have had to let a couple people take the back-burner during my schooling. You may have to do the same. If there are people in your life who are only bringing you down, I hope you can find the courage to not let them drag you away from your goals in nursing school. After all, school is only a temporary phase of your life, but it's absolutely grueling and requires a lot of time and dedication. I graduate in 42 days, and guess what- the people I've cut off are still there with all their problems if I ever decide I'm ready to re-open those cans of worms! Your decision with the un-supportive people in your lives doesn't have to be a "forever" decision. Just do what you need to for the better of yourself and your family :) Best of luck dealing with the drama!!!

[jj224]

Turn your phone off. Do your homework at the library or somewhere else where you won't be bothered. Enjoy time with family. Be sure to budget in some time for yourself or you'll go crazy - if that means exercise, watching a movie, hanging with friends, do it occasionally. The people who are important to you and care about you will understand. As tough as nursing school is, just remember people have made it through medical school and residency with a family and a life

[missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN]

I like the word "No". Sometimes, when I'm polite, I will respond with "No, but thank you for asking."

Your friends and acquaintances will never understand the rigors of nursing school. When you say "studying", they probably envision you skimming through a book. Don't give more information than needed when you decline an invitation, and don't expect them to understand. Just say no, and mean it. You'll have plenty of time to hang out when nursing school is over.

Best of luck!

[missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN]

And concerning the phone...

Back in the day when all anyone had were landlines, my Mom used to take the phone off the hook and put it in a drawer before she took her nap. When it was in the drawer, you couldn't hear the dial tone and no one could put a call through. I asked her what would happen if someone NEEDED to call her. Her response: The phone is there for my convenience.

She is so right. We don't have phones so other people can call us, we have phones to use when we see fit. Silence the phone, only keep it on vibrate and put it the room farthest away from where you are studying. You can even power the phone down. The phone is there for your convenience. You decide whether or not you'll receive phone calls.

[Missingyou, CNA]

Set your priorities.

When you feel like you are running low on time & energy, the things at the bottom of your priority list will not get your attention...and that is how it has to be if you're gonna get through this.

[rob4546, ADN, BSN, MSN]

How do you guys cope with un-supportive people who are constantly distracting you with things?

Easy, remove them from your life. Nursing school is not a time for distractions. If they are not supportive then lose them. I don't believe in hiding from them either. Come out and stand up for yourself and explain to them what you need. If they don't understand then tell them to lose your number. I lost a little over half my extended family due to this. It saddens me at times, but I am happier for it.

[SunriseDay]

The un-supportive people who distract me from the nursing school goal.. they just continue to irritate me 24/7 for my entire life. Bc they're relatives and only ones. My friends (the real ones) actually are really supportive of my goals.

[TriciaJ, RN]

Developing boundaries and assertive skills will serve you well throughout life. Learn to say "No" with a big smile on your face. No explanations. Unless you own an ambulance or fire truck, answer the phone at YOUR convenience.

[Jenngirl34RN]

Turn your phone off when you need to and learn to say no. If your friends refuse to understand that you have other priorities right now than that is their problem. You need to take care of your family and yourself before anyone else.