Two nurses - one marriage

Asystole RN · Jul 15, 2012

My wife is a nurse, we met before nursing and went through nursing school together in the same class. We worked together for a period of time as nurses but now we work in separate facilities.

Personally, my wife is my best friend and we get along great working together. The nice thing about us both being nurses is that we can relate to the stress and problems that we both encounter.

0402 · Jul 15, 2012

When I met my husband, I had just joined the Marine Corps, and he had been in for 6 years. We spent about 6 years of our relationship both being active duty Marines, and I'm now a reservist and he's still on AD. We have different specialties, but there are still many commonalities, so we could vent and understand each other well. Now, as a nurse, he doesn't really get much of what I talk about, but yet, I still get all of his Marine Corps stuff..... I think there might be more potential for issues if you work in the exact same place, but having the same career field, for us, has definitely not been a bad thing.

mysonsmama · Jul 15, 2012

Thanks for the responses. I am starting nursing school in January and my fiancé somehow decided he's going to follow my footsteps. At first I thought it would be nice for the reasons mentioned above but we are both fairy competitive (he more than I). I don't think working in the same facility would matter because we have very different interests and goals for our careers.

Thanks again!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 15, 2012

i think it depends on the two people in the marriage. my husband is a nurse; we met when we were working together in the same icu. since then, we've worked together in the same icu about as much as we've worked in different departments, but always in the same hospital. it works great. we understand each other's work situation and even know many of the same people. we always have something to talk about! and when i vent about my perfectly awful day, he gets it.

my ex-husband was also a nurse. we met through some of his nursing school classmates who worked with me on the oncology unit; he was in nephrology. before we married, i went to micu and after we married, he became an icu float. there were lots of issues in our marriage, but working together exacerbated them. i'll never forget one night i was charge in the micu and he was assigned there as float. his patient went bad and needed to be swanned, and as charge nurse, i was right there helping him gather supplies, set up, etc. i didn't do anything i wouldn't have done for any other nurse, especially a float. but he had an absolute fit, accusing me of patronizing him and ordering me out of "his" room because he knew what to do and didn't need my help. it was awful. he wasn't as good of a nurse as he thought he was, things didn't go well and i was ultimately responsible. there was no working with him. but because of staffing issues, there was no way to get him not assigned to my unit when we were both working. we couldn't talk about work outside of work because he'd get angry, and he'd bring home issues into the workplace as well.

it would be wonderful if we'd recognize toxic partners before we married them -- not all of us do, though.

sharpeimom · Jul 15, 2012

my husband and i chose different professions, but my parents didn't. they both ended up as lawyers, through

different routes and in different specialties.

my dad was a trust, tax, and banking attorney while my mom was a family practice lawyer. she had an office downtown in my dad's firm but mostly practiced what she called "kitchen table law." she worked with juvenile

offenders, domestic issues, adoption, etc. my dad also saw a large number of pro bono cases, which his other

practice subsidized. by seeing many of her clients at home either in her study or literally at the kitchen table,

it meant she could be a more hands on mom, especially when i was little and again when i was in my early to mid teens. i can see it in my mind's eye now. i'd come in the door and call, "hi! i'm home." and she'd either answer,

"hi babe! we'll talk in just a bit." or "hi babe! i'm in the (where ever.") which told me no one was there.

there were some very lively discussions sometimes but that made me a good debator!

klone, MSN, RN · Jul 15, 2012

My husband and I are both nurses. We both have totally different careers (he's a DON for a hospice and I'm a former L&D nurse and perinatal research nurse), however, but they're similar enough that we're able to "talk shop" and commiserate with each other and understand the lingo and appreciate the frustrations that accompany our jobs.

I would never want to work alongside him, though. At one point when I was looking for a career change, and I interviewed with his sister company that does home health. That was weird enough, and we discussed it at length beforehand. Even though we're best friends, we like having that separate part of our lives, and separate career paths.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2012

I met by (ex) husband during a code. He was the nurse in that code situation. I responded as an observer on my first day in orientation.

The patient was in PEA. Ex questioned the monitor ...showing sinus rhythm.. but no pulse found.

The resident handling the code was not able to answer that question.

I just answered both of their questions and suggested.. continue ACLS protocol... blah. blah.

In my case .. I was just a little bit smarter than him, he realized it..

couple of years later.. he couldn't deal with it.

Of course that is only the (Professional) ? side of it...

Hope it works out for both of you.

MJB2010 · Jul 16, 2012

I think it would be nice to have a spouse to vent to that understands, instead of the blank look I get from my husband when stressed about work. I do not think I would want to work on the same floor/unit. Same facility would be fine, but not same floor. But I think it depends on the people. Some people can spend every waking minute together without going bad, some need their space.

MN-Nurse, ASN, RN · Jul 16, 2012

Do you think it is ever a good idea for a married couple to have the same/similar careers?
Does it matter if the careers were established before the relationship or after?

I only know one couple who are both RNs. Wait, they got divorced last year.

I don't know any couples who are both RNs.

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Jul 16, 2012

there are many married couples in my hospital.