Twas the night before Christmas in the ER

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Specializes in ICU,ER.

'Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the ER

Not a patient was arriving by

ambulance or by car.

The r/o cardiac patients were all tucked

in OBS. beds,

While visions of negative enzymes

danced in their heads.

I in my mandatory whites with a red undershirt

that would surely cause a rift,

Had just settled down for a

long night shift.

When down the hall, there arose

such a clatter,

I sprang up from my charting to see what

was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes

should appear,

But the staggering Etoh'er that

just had "one beer".

Pants at his ankles and urinal

in hand,

But alas, on the floor, is where

his urine did land.

Little drops of red were dripped

all around,

And in his left arm, no IV

to be found.

He stood there grinning from

ear to ear,

Then I heard another nurse yell,

"I need help in here!!"

As I rushed to her room,

I looked all around.

The pace was really picking up

by leaps and by bounds.

Our Silent Night was quickly

turning to Drama.

EMS just called in with a

multiple trauma.

There was a kid in room 5 that

ate a christmas light,

A head lac in 3 that lost a

bar fight.

A guy with a foreign body and

a rectal tear,

Trust me, I'll leave it at that and

not EVEN go there.....

A lady taching out at

162,

A frantic mother whose baby's lips

(3 hours ago) turned blue.

As i rush down the hall with Adenocard

and a suture tray,

A family member says "Hey Honey, I need some

coffee when you come back this way"

"And mama needs a warm blanket and could you order

her a tray?"

"Her blood sugar is low and she hasn't eaten

ALL DAY!"

I force a "yes, sure" through a smile and

clenched teeth,

While an admitting doc bellows,

"Where is an order sheet??"

After a couple of hours, it was

~the Q word~ once more,

Everyone had gone home except for the 3

admitted to the floor.

We all sank into our chairs and let out

a collective sigh,

Then I heard a shuffling sound-

My ETOH guy!

I watched him sway with

great fright,

But he grinned and said before he fell and hit his head....

"Merry Christmas (hic) to all and to all (hic) a good night!!!!"

LOL...good one! Merry Christmas! :D

:roll now that was funny! :roll

merry christmas!

Specializes in Emergency Room.
Specializes in Emergency Room.

that's the ED alright!!

That was great! It's pretty much the "Q" word in our Level 1 ED at present.....the calm before the storm.

Merry Christmas to all!!:Santa3:

Well it's now the morning after christmas and oh what a night!!! Someone must have used the "Q" word and the hot weather in combination with ETOH are never a good combination.

Well merry christmas and have a great '06

Cheers from "The land down under"

Specializes in LTC/Behavioral/ Hospice.

:rotfl: Good job, Leah! That was so funny. I read it to my husband (had to explain half of it) and he enjoyed it, too.

Specializes in Vents, Telemetry, Home Care, Home infusion.
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