Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

ERNurse752, RN · Dec 29, 2003

Do not attempt to pierce your member with a upholstery needle, or use OraJel inside the urethra as a local anesthetic. Furthermore, do not use Neosporin inside the urethra to treat the resulting infection.

WhiteCaps · Dec 29, 2003

Patients vacationing in Florida have taught me:

Do not play with the cute little (extremely toxic) PIGMY RATTLESNAKES on the golf course.

Swimming in the ocean at night is not "the best time because you can't see the sharks". Surprisingly, the sharks CAN see you!

Do not think you are skilled enough your first time on a jet ski and drunk to cut in front of a speed boat.

Do not jump off the 3rd floor balcony of your vacation condo to

avoid being caught for under-age drinking.

Trixxy, LPN · Dec 29, 2003

or use OraJel inside the urethra as a local anesthetic.

:rotfl: :rotfl:

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · Dec 29, 2003

If your lover already has children, *don't* believe him when he says that he's sterile because he had mumps after he fathered those children.

When your girlfriend has a jealous ex-husband and likes to make love with a blue light on in the bedroom, go somewhere besides the house she lived in with her husband if you want to be intimate! (Guy almost lost something very near and dear to his heart, and it was *not* the girlfriend!)

If you wish to commit suicide, don't just stick a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger (if you thought life was tough before, try life with no face).

If you suspect that your boyfriend is abusive to your children, don't leave him alone with them!

*Don't* breastfeed while riding in a car, or otherwise let your children ride unrestrained (can't tell you how many poor outcomes I've seen from this one).

Don't go to Mexico and buy stock-size bottles of antibiotics, then pop a few whenever you feel you may be "coming down with something."

If two extra-strength Tylenol are good, more are *not* better.

If you walk into your house and think you smell a gas leak, *don't* light a match to see what happens.

If you decide to make a barbecue grill from a used metal drum, make sure that it did not previously contain anything flammable. At least, don't let your wife and small child stand nearby to watch while you apply the blowtorch to the drum.

If you have a medication allergy, don't take the medication again just to see what will happen.

TiffyRN, BSN, PhD · Dec 29, 2003

Putting on makeup and doing your hair beautifully to present that beautiful image when you swallow a whole bottle on xanax will not help your looks when you are drooling black charcoal after vomiting while sitting on a bedside potty pooing out the same black charcoal.

GlowBear500 · Dec 29, 2003

WOW, some of these stories are really sad and shocking at the same time.

I can't believe how little common sense some people have. :eek: :confused:

BarbPick · Dec 29, 2003

Originally posted by Anaya_1de
WOW, some of these stories are really sad and shocking at the same time.
I can't believe how little common sense some people have.

Especially when hormones are involved

NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN · Dec 29, 2003

Originally posted by Erin RN
Never masturbate with a wood dowling rod.

Okay, I have to ask....splinters?

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Dec 29, 2003

A great title for a show involving this: make it into a soap opera type, call it "The Dumb and the Senseless".

Erin RN · Dec 29, 2003

Originally posted by NICU_Nurse
Okay, I have to ask....splinters?

You guessed it..I told her they make items which are much more user friendly for that activity..she calmly said, "I know thats what my mom keeps telling me"...she was 15.. :eek:

StreetRN · Dec 29, 2003

too bad her mother didn't attempt to instill other bits of knowledge into this dimwit's head.

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 29, 2003

one would think these people are dx'd with "TSTL Syndrome".

(Umm that would be Too Stupid To Live.)

jeeeez

I must be fargin sheltered.:roll