Published Mar 22, 2009
VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN
22 Articles; 9,996 Posts
Greetings!
Many of you know that I have struggled for most of my life with compulsive eating and weight issues. I got my start way back in the 1960s, growing up with an overweight mother who watched my weight obsessively, long before there was anything to worry about. I was actually put on my first diet at age 9, when I weighed all of 70 lbs. dripping wet. When I was an athletic, 125-pound teenager, she made no secret of the fact that she was disappointed in me, and she would paw through my closet on the pretense of finding clothes I could no longer wear because I was such a pig ("Now that you're a size 7, I'm going to have to give all your size 5's to your older sister," she'd cluck disapprovingly). Then, when I was a young wife and mother who'd gained weight with my pregnancies, she actually APOLOGIZED for me to all of her friends. "You'll have to excuse Marla," one of them quoted her as saying, "she is HUGE and just can't get herself together".
However..............one can play the blame game only so long, and I've had to face the fact that the past 35 years or so of overeating are on me. Literally. I've alternately dieted and binged most of my life, until at one point last summer, I tipped the scales at 357 pounds. I'm not kidding. I was so heavy I couldn't walk more than a hundred feet, get dressed in the morning, or climb a flight of stairs without getting out of breath. Tying my shoes was out of the question (this must be why God invented Crocs shoes!). Personal care required contortions that I don't care to describe. My blood pressure averaged 190/110 even with three different medications. In addition, I'd already had a small stroke, was prediabetic and probably in early CHF as I had 2+ pitting edema and wheezing.
I probably should be dead. But God has been good, and I've been able to manage a modest weight loss (~30 pounds) over the past year by changing jobs and controlling my portions (at least some of the time). Hitting 50 this past winter, though, has brought me up against a harsh reality: I MUST lose weight. A lot of it. And I can't wait any longer for some miracle surgery or pill to rescue me..........my insurance won't even discuss paying for it, and I don't happen to have 40 grand laying around to pay for it myself.
You see, people on my side of the family die in their 50s and 60s, mainly from "lifestyle" diseases. I quit cigarettes in 1990 and booze a year later, but I'm still over 300 pounds. My BP is much better than it was five months ago, but at 146/77 it's still too high for good health. My fasting blood sugar is 109, my total cholesterol 200, but my triglycerides are 516..........an MI in the making.
So my doctor and I agreed that I would start out by losing 10% of my current weight over the next six months. I KNOW I can do that much. Actually, I'm aiming to drop 50 by the end of this year, which I think is doable even at my age. But I'm not going to think beyond that first 30 lbs or so right now; the only way I can look at the long term is by breaking the weight loss needed into incremental goals. I'm a pro at losing weight, I've lost literally hundreds of pounds over the course of my life. I know now that I have to add periodic treats so that I don't rebel against myself. But this has got to be a change of lifestyle rather than yet another "diet". The people on "The Biggest Loser" learn how to eat and how to move, all without surgery or pills; if they can do it, with less knowledge of nutrition and physiology than I possess, I ought to be able to as well.
This thread is intended as a help-and-support forum for anyone with overeating, food, and weight issues. I can't do this alone, and from some of the other threads I've read here, I know many, many other members are dealing with the same stinkin' problems I am. I think talking about these, along with the cooperation from my family that I've never had in all these years, just might make the difference between success and yet another failure. After all, it's said that once you "go public" with something, it's harder to give up knowing that other people are counting on you to keep it up and cheering you on. Who knows..........maybe we can help each other.
:redpinkhe
perfectbluebuildings, BSN, RN
1,016 Posts
Hi, I wanted to recommend you another WONDERFUL diet support site... sparkpeople.com. It is totally free and you can track your food intake & nutrition intake, it sets up a calorie range for you & helps you set up an exercise program, has lots of really, really good & practical info on lifestyle change & weight management and such. I know I sound like a "shill" for the website or something, but this year I have been trying to get healthy in exercise & nutrition, not necessarily lose weight, and it has been so helpful to see it all mapped out for me what I need to do and where I need to improve. And there are many, many, MANY people on the site who have had great & long-term success in weight-loss and lifestyle change. and did I mention it is completely and absolutely FREE!!
haha, I sound ridiculous. I'm sorry, this is probably not the kind of thing you were looking for... but hopefully some other people here will have good suggestions/support!!
UM Review RN, ASN, RN
1 Article; 5,163 Posts
I'm in the same boat. I was a skinny-minnie until about 12 years ago. Then my weight shot up and it just keeps going up. I can't seem to stay motivated. I've tried dieting and I lose my momentum as soon as I get comfortable.
At this point, I can't even get motivated. It's one of those yeah, I know I should issues. I'm completely apathetic about it. I know I should exercise, but I just back away from it because of the pain. Eating does not cause pain, ergo, I'm sitting around eating instead of exercising.
By sitting around, I'm risking someone's life. If I was a nurse and someone was coding and their nurse just stood around munching a Krispy Kreme, do you know what I would do to her? :angryfire
So maybe if I think things like that, I can do it. But so far, I lose it when I start thinking about the "how" of weight loss rather than the "why."
Maybe, since we all know how to diet, we need to keep the focus on the whys.
llg, PhD, RN
13,469 Posts
My story:
Lost 40 pounds 3 years ago with a low carb diet and regular exercise immediately after being diagnosed with pre-diabetes. (fasting glucose = 122) I also have hypertension, but it is well-controlled on 2 meds.
So, after losing the 40 pounds, I hit a major plateau in my long-term goal to lose to 75. So I increased my exercise as I transitioned to a "sensible" healthy long-term eating style of moderate carbs (emphasizing the low glycemic index ones), whole grains, lean meat and fish, more vegetables, olive oil, etc. My blood work results remain fantastic -- but I am slowly gaining the weight back.
First I hit that plateau and just couldn't lose any more weight in spite of increasing my exercise to 30-45 minutes per day 6 days per week. Then I cold tired and cold, which helpled identify that my thyroid was seriously low. It took about 6 months to get that stabilized on Synthroid, during which I gained a frightening quick and easy 10 pounds. It was great to have an explanation for the "unbeatable plateau," but getting the thyroid stabilized didn't get rid of the weight I had gained back.
In 2008, I slowly gained another 5 pounds. I was still exercising and my lab work is terrific ... but I was just not losing. Gradually, I lost the motivation and began allowing a few too many "treats" on my diet. Nothing big-time, just little things that added up to another 5 pounds over the course of the year.
Then in December of 2008, I broke my ankle. That made exercise really difficult and since then, I have gained another 5 pounds. (Over the holidays, little exercise, etc.)
So ... I am NEEDING to get back on the wagon now that I have regained half of my weight back. Lost 40, regained 20.
I need to give up the treats and restart my habit of exercising every day -- instead of the 2 or 3 times per week I have been doing lately.
Good luck to you, Viva. Good luck to us all.
morte, LPN, LVN
7,015 Posts
since i also have "mother" issues....i can deeply empathize......counseling may help....hypnosis may help, that is one on one with a therapist...with the take home tape/disc.....and a self lecture.....no mom, you are NOT going to win THIS one!
ps. what yours did to you, and what mine did to me, would, in this day and age be considered abuse.
since i also have "mother" issues....i can deeply empathize......counseling may help....hypnosis may help, that is one on one with a therapist...with the take home tape/disc.....and a self lecture.....no mom, you are NOT going to win THIS one!ps. what yours did to you, and what mine did to me, would, in this day and age be considered abuse.
This is true. And I did go through counseling and hypnosis.........someday I'll tell you how I once beat a pillow with a plastic bat for an hour and a half during a therapy session because I was so infuriated with my mother.
Thankfully, after many years of working on it I've been able to let go of the "mother" thing; I told the story only to provide some background on the origins of my weight problems. She has been gone almost 20 years now, and I finally forgave her completely a few months ago. That's when I started moving toward taking responsibility for them.......and if I hadn't, I would never have gotten even this far in my journey to regain my health and (hopefully) sanity.:)
This is a good start! Let's all keep supporting and encouraging one another...........we don't exist in a vacuum, and to experience healing, most people need to bring their darknesses out into the light of day, where they may be far less frightening than we thought. I'm game. Who else is up for the adventure?:typing
madwife2002, BSN, RN
26 Articles; 4,777 Posts
Good luck I have ben on a diet since feb and have lost over 25 lbs already so I am proud of myself I am doing a very very strict diet called 'Ideal Protein' and I feel hungry all the time but it is working.
I will help you and encourage you as you progress
Twenty-five pounds since February?? That is FANTASTIC, madwife!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!
How much more do you need to lose? And where did you hear of this diet? I know I have to eat at least a little protein at each meal or my blood sugar crashes and burns, and I do mean it crashes---I've seen it drop as low as 42, and that was when I still had it together enough to hold the lancet and do my fingerstick. (There are times I can't even do that.)
Somebody who lost 96lbs at work I am doing it with her I am half dead sometimes cause i love food
truern
2,016 Posts
Hi, my name is truern, and I'm a binge eater. Just this week I was PMing with another poster and confessed that I had to buy another birthday cake for my daughter because I ate the other one in two days. I'm an RN..I know better. I'm diabetic..I *really* know better. Sigh.
I hereby apply to be a member of the "weigh" out group. I pledge to immediately PM a member of the group when tempted to binge. I pledge to be a willing listener to any of the group that needs encouragement.
madwife, is it the ideal protein diet started by some asian doctor that I just found online?? If so, where do you get your supplements, etc?
Hi, my name is truern, and I'm a binge eater. Just this week I was PMing with another poster and confessed that I had to buy another birthday cake for my daughter because I ate the other one in two days. I'm an RN..I know better. I'm diabetic..I *really* know better. Sigh.I hereby apply to be a member of the "weigh" out group. I pledge to immediately PM a member of the group when tempted to binge. I pledge to be a willing listener to any of the group that needs encouragement.
That is a GREAT idea, truern!! If it can work with AA members---and I know it does---there is no reason it can't work with us compulsive eaters.