The haunting scream of a mother

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Sep 1, 2009

PAERRN,

I don't work ED, but I have seen parents cry over their dead babies in my time as a nurse (and let's face it, the mother in your story still thought of her daughter as her baby). It's never easy, and I have never gotten it out of my head either. Some things just aren't ever fair or right, and this is one of them. Parents aren't supposed to have to bury their kids.

Hugs to you, and vent away.

Lovelymo79 · Sep 1, 2009

Hugs and comfort to you :redbeathe!

I am a first year nursing student and I know I will be facing days like the one you just described. No matter how many you go through, I know you will never forget any of them. I'm not looking forward ot those days..

Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN · Sep 1, 2009

I screamed when I found out my 31 yr old son had died. my husband told me later he never ever wanted to hear anything like that again. It is nothing but pure unadulterated primal hurt. He was in the front yard when I got the news and he said just the sound of it made him run as fast as he could to get to me. pure pain.

pumpkinpatchquilter · Sep 1, 2009

Oh how awful. I'm a pre-nursing student as well and I do not look forward to witnessing this kind of pain. I have two daughters, and there is NOTHING that I fear more, than something happening to them. At the same time, I think God calls on people to work in the medical field to not only save lives of those who are dieing, but to save the lives of their loved ones too.

I pray the Lord never takes my children from me, but it would be worse to be all alone with the most terrible news a person could hear.

Katnip, RN · Sep 1, 2009

I didn't scream when my 18 year old son died. I couldn't. But the day I returned to the ED, I had to face parents who had just lost their 17 year old daughter when I came on shift. I don't know how I got through that. But there words, and the words and cries of every parent I've seen who lost their child resonates in me like an echo from my own past.

chicookie, BSN, RN · Sep 1, 2009

Its a sound that breaks the soul.

sleepyRN2 · Sep 1, 2009

i am very saddened for the indelible images and sounds of this event has left you dealing with, and who knows for how long. however, if this bothers you to the point of actually affecting your mental and physical faculties then it may be high time for your dear self to seek some professional help. we can only surmise what that loving mother would go through, the short and the long of losing a close someone. let us hope that whatever she relies on to get through will help her push on, for i could only imagine the permanence in the loss of a loved one is difficult.

Trauma Columnist · Sep 1, 2009

I worked ER for many years and I know exactly what you are talking about. Vent away and you might want to think about sharing this with a co-worker that you are close too. Please take care of yourself.

CLC172 · Sep 1, 2009

Wow, how horrible. My condolences go out to all on this board who have lost a child.

I know I totally flipped out when I found out that my older brother had died suddenly, at 32 years old, and I couldn't help the screaming that I was doing. It was like I was on an alternate plane. I wasn't with my mom when she found out, but I know my family, especially my poor parents, have been dealing with the extreme pain of losing him for 3 years now. I have often wondered how I would handle it if it was my daughter and I just don't know how I could go on, but my parents have been amazing examples to me. They keep on living life, and working toward being happy despite the pain they feel.

I think if you were to easily dismiss that kind of pain in a patient or patient's family, this would be the time for you to leave nursing. Responding to suffering, and feeling sad when you see horrible pain, makes you human. Please vent! And talk to someone, a friend or even a counselor, if you need to.

Altra, BSN, RN · Sep 1, 2009

I too have been more affected emotionally by the sounds of such scenes than by what I see visually.

Hugs to you as you work toward finding a place in your heart in which to put this memory away. Not to forget, because you won't, but to put it away so that it doesn't paralyze you.

Wishing you, and the grieving family, peace.

fsaav · Sep 1, 2009

There is something about the sounds of human anguish that just cuts you right to your soul. During my first semester of nursing clinicals I was in neuro ICU and witnessed the death of an elderly male patient. The sounds from his wife when she was told that he had died were one of the most painful things I have ever heard. Even though he had been much older and his death wasn't completely unexpected, she sounded as though she were having part of her body physically ripped from her. It was horrible, and I dread the day that I have to witness that kind of pain again.