Tension between Nurse and Doctor

[kelz88]

I almost feel totally immature in saying this...but there is this one doctor I feel totally hates me, thinks I'm an idiot, never acknowledges me or respects my opinion. I have been working on an oncology floor for the past year, and the doctor I'm referring to is an oncologist of 30+ years. He speaks to and acknowledges other nurses who are less experienced than I am and are younger than me. The only reason I can think that he would not like me is because several months ago, I had a patient of his that the night shift prior to my shift did now obtain the labs he ordered for that morning...I guess I should have been a better nurse and looked to see if the labs were drawn that morning but I had not. So of course, when he gets to the floor to do his rounds, he is highly ticked and I catch the heat. I tried to explain to him that the prior nurse did not draw the labs at the appropriate time and before I could finish, he blurts "JUST GET THEM DONE..." as he nodded in disgust at me. A couple weeks after that I had another one of his patients who was totally confused and had accidentally pulled part of his PICC line apart before I had returned back into his room...the doctor had entered the room to discover this and of course it is my fault...he totally made me feel like a dumb-you-know-what. I don't know how address this situation...I don't know whether to just let it slide and go on, or try to butter up to him. I don't feel comfortable working with someone who treats me like this and I don't feel right working for someone who thinks I'm a total idiot...even though these situations were out of my control.

What do you think?

[eaus]

Would you be co fortable saying something such as "The labs were not drawn as ordered and I will draw them now. I wish you would be more respectful in your future communications with me." I have also said " Gee. You seem to be in a mood this morning." The physician does not write your paycheck. Don't be afraid of her.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Do you speak to/acknowledge this doctor when you see him in the halls, or only when you have to interact with him? It helps to chit chat with folks -- it smooths the working experience. There was one pulmonologist I worked with years ago who was always nasty to me when I had one of his patients. I found out we shared a hobby and made a habit of greeting him enthusiastically every time I saw him in the hallways at work, and whenever I had the opportunity would ask him if he'd had any good dives lately. It took a few months, but eventually he'd come seeking me out to tell me about a new dive site he'd tried or that he'd caught sight of the octopus under the barge at a favorite site. Our working relationship improved ramatically and soon I looked forward to working with him.

It sucks when people treat you disrespectfully, but you'll probably get further going at the problem sideways.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

First you do not work for him you work for the facility. Second ignore him. He'll get over it. He KNOWS he's getting to you and some of them like that. You don't have to like him and he doesn't need to like you. You only have to wrok with him on occasion. Be professional and move on...eventually they get over it. ((HUGS))

[kelz88]

I have spoke to/smiled at him several times and he still doesn't acknowledge me. He definitely has his favorites and makes it a point to make it known who his favorites are. I'm just simply not the type to suck up or be overly confident with doctors. What you see is what you get. I respect them ad a doctor and nothing more. Is that wrong of me?

[SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN]

If you're not the type to socialize or suck up, then don't expect the situation to improve.

You might as well get comfortable with the tension, especially if you don't plan to do anything to make amends or soothe the bruised ego.

Respect him/her as your coworker. Not the doctor who parades as god. Not the physician who chewed you out. Treat him/her like any other coworker. Docs don't get special privileges because they have "MD" behind their names.

I respect them ad a doctor and nothing more. Is that wrong of me?

What are you supposed to respect them as?

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

I have spoke to/smiled at him several times and he still doesn't acknowledge me. He definitely has his favorites and makes it a point to make it known who his favorites are. I'm just simply not the type to suck up or be overly confident with doctors. What you see is what you get. I respect them ad a doctor and nothing more. Is that wrong of me?

NO....they are at work. Be respectful. There ahve been amny MD's I have no desire to be "friendly" with....was I professional and courteous? Yes. Did I go out of my way? NO.

[maxthecat]

You don't have to be a "favorite." You just have to do your job to the best of your ability. I think the tension is there because you think there should be something you can do to overcome his prejudice. There isn't.

He may continue to treat you like this for the rest of his career or he may decide tomorrow that you are a great nurse. But that's on HIM. You don't have to make it YOUR problem.

[applewhitern, BSN, RN]

It might be more in your imagination than in reality. This doctor does not go around thinking, hmmm, I'm gonna snub her! And, I doubt he really knows how long some of the other's have been nurses, and what kind of experience they had prior to working on that unit. Quit worrying about it; just make sure labs get done, etc. I might mention, however, that our doctors might not sign our paychecks, but they run to administration frequently to gripe and moan about something the nurses and/or other docs did or didn't do.