Stupid things that nurses say

Nurses Humor

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I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

Patient: "This taste horrible"

Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)

Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"

Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.:o( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.:nono:

I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!

:thankya:

Specializes in Family Medicine.

One time I was spelling a patient's name to a MD over the phone and he wasn't able to understand me. I proceeding with the whole, "C, as in cat," thing. When I got to "D" I said, "D, as in darn it." Apparently, I was getting frustrated. It seemed funnier at the time, my coworkers were cracking up.

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Specializes in Care Coordination, MDS, med-surg, Peds.

Once, while working in a behavior unit with attempted suicide pts, I made a comment like, WOW, If I don't get what I want for my birthday, I oughta just kill myself..... duh.......

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.
once, while working in a behavior unit with attempted suicide pts, i made a comment like, wow, if i don't get what i want for my birthday, i oughta just kill myself..... duh.......

now that's a ooops! lol

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I walk into my patient's room.

Me: "Something smells good in here. Did someone bring you Bojangles?"

Patient and family break into peals of laughter.

Patient looks at me sheepishly: "I farted..."

That is HILARIOUS!!!! I was dying laughing, I had to show my husband ( who LOVES Bojangles) lol

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this is great

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These are making me laugh so much!! It makes me think of the time me and a nurse was changing a butt dressing on a quad pt. fixing to roll the pt on his side I asked him if he would reach over and grab the side rail!!!! I wanted to crawl under the bed! Thank God he had a good sense of humor

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.
These are making me laugh so much!! It makes me think of the time me and a nurse was changing a butt dressing on a quad pt. fixing to roll the pt on his side I asked him if he would reach over and grab the side rail!!!! I wanted to crawl under the bed! Thank God he had a good sense of humor

Don't despair I did the same, many moons ago...Aloha~

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

During my tour of nursing home Hell, I had 2 patients sharing a room who I'm pretty sure had some kind of undiagnosed psych issue. One became hysterical while I was in the room, and the other's issue fed off of that." It took 20 hair-raising minutes to calm both of them down.

I knew they shouldn't be in a room together, and I was at the end of my rope. I marched to the nurse's station and oh-so-professionally said "Those women are out of their **** minds, they're feeding off of each other, and they need to be separated!" I also charted it, less colorfully.

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.
During my tour of nursing home Hell, I had 2 patients sharing a room who I'm pretty sure had some kind of undiagnosed psych issue. One became hysterical while I was in the room, and the other's issue fed off of that." It took 20 hair-raising minutes to calm both of them down.

I knew they shouldn't be in a room together, and I was at the end of my rope. I marched to the nurse's station and oh-so-professionally said "Those women are out of their **** minds, they're feeding off of each other, and they need to be separated!" I also charted it, less colorfully.

And the look on your colleagues faces when you said that :uhoh21: ...Priceless!....Aloha~

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:barf01:

I think I've shared this before but once I had a patient in her 80's tell me she was going to call her mother (in LTC). I tried to reorient her but she insisted her mom was still alive. Whatever. I walked to the nurses' station and shared this with the other LPN. Turns out her mother WAS alive and over 100 and living in another nursing home.

So yeah, never assume. :rolleyes:

I have patients in LTC who have living parents also!

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Bump!

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Specializes in LTC.

While doing a straight cath on an elderly gentleman:

Me: Ok. It'll be in and out before you know it.

Him: Sigh. Well, you sure ain't the first woman who's told me that!

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