Starting Nursing School and Getting Divorced

matilda123 · Dec 24, 2008

So sorry to hear about your troubles. Use it to your advantage this semester, to fill your time

and give you focus. You have already set your goals, go for it!

good luck

goodstudentnowRN · Dec 24, 2008

I have a friend who went through the same situation and this motivated her to do well in school so that she could achieve her dream. She was just as lonely as you the only difference is that her marriage lasted for twenty-one years and no children. Now she is a nurse and she is very proud of herself. She has gotten married again and seems to be very happy with her decision. Please do not give up, just try to go through the grieving process with great prode and keep your head above the water.

I will be praying for you.

graceomalleyRN, RN · Dec 24, 2008

Hello,

Yes, I started school this past Fall and filed for divorce within a month. I'd planned on seeing how things were after I graduated but I was forced into the decision. NOT my timeline, as you can understand.

Suddenly, the house that I'd worked so hard to remodel is on the market, we are dividing my beloved animals and I will no longer have health insurance. It was quite bewildering.

But fear not. I got straight A's this first semester. While I wouldn't say I made it through the other side "shining" as you say, I will say this is a step in the right direction.

Expect extreme ups and extreme lows. Some days you will think, "Wow I can do this!" and the next thing you know you're crying because you heard a song that reminds you of when things were good.

You will be surprised at how supportive some will be and may be puzzled by the responses of others. I can tell you it's best not to share your personal life with anyone in your program other than someone you can really trust.

Just know this: YOU CAN DO THIS. You're on this path for a reason.

My very best to you.

mssensitivity · Dec 24, 2008

Hey there, Happy holidays. Sorry to hear about your problems, but chin up, your closing the chapter of one part of your life and opening another chapter from here forward.

I am not in the same situation as you with divorce, but I am married with grown children. I started back to school 3 years ago, and I am proud to say that I have just completed my first year of nursing school. Very proud of myself. You will be awewsome in your endeavors you are about to take on. I am in my 40's and very happy and content with the decision I made to enter nursing school.

One piece of advise I have read from the responses you have gotten today from wild chipmunk is to not share your personal life with others, unless you get a true trusting relationship with a fellow student, she is very correct! Nursing school is very competetive, and although your not "competing" with your fellow student, there is a definate competition amongst each other. Even though you do well on a test, and if you are doing better than your other fellow students, they may tend to say that they are happy for you, but are probably jealous....

Good luck

AOx1 · Dec 24, 2008

Good luck to you. Having spoken with many nursing students about similar issues, I can tell you that everyone's experience is different. The few things I do recommend as their instructor is to ensure that you have several sources of scholarships/funding through school so that you can minimize financial stress as much as possible, have an outlet for the stress that is inevitable in nursing school as well as divorce, and as others have mentioned, build a strong support network for yourself (friends, family, church if you attend it, exercise, etc).

Schedule time in to take care of yourself in terms of diet and exercise, and also take time (even if it's 15 minutes a day)to grieve your marriage and adjust to the changes.

Also, realize that you are making a great choice that will offer you a measure of financial freedom and a feeling of accomplishment. You are taking a step that will allow you to care for others and make a difference in others' lives every day. Be proud of what you are trying to do.

Use your own life experience and wisdom you've gained to your advantage. You can come out of school with a renewed sense of purpose, and a love of your new career. And don't give up! I've talked to several students who come into nursing as second careers and question their decisions on bad days. They ask "What on earth am I doing, thinking I can go back to school at my age?" But bad days will pass, just keep going. One of the most inspirational people I know just finished her masters at the age of 72. You can do it!

fuuchan · Dec 25, 2008

Yes, I started my first semester of nursing school and divorced my husband at the same time. Again, not something that I really planned but life is funny that way. I moved back in with my parents, quit my job, take care of my 5 year old son (with minimal help financially or otherwise from his father) and I still got a 4.0 this semseter. Was it a walk through cupcake town? - No. But you can do it. Just keep your nose in your books and this too shall pass

LadyEJ BSN, RN · Dec 25, 2008

It will be difficult but you have plenty of support here :hgu:

kcochrane · Dec 25, 2008

Many people (including myself) have major life changes and still succeed in nursing school. Sometimes it may be the driving force that keeps you going. Nursing school may be also a chance to meet new friends and form lasting friendships. My LPN clinical group was very close and we still keep in touch. I started some great friendships so far with RN school. Good luck!

Nepenthe Sea · Dec 25, 2008

When my daughters (3 yr. old twins) were 18 months old, I found out their dad had been messing around with a friend of ours. I had only contemplated nursing school for about a year, figuring I might do it someday. Suddenly, I was leaving my husband (we'd been together for 12 years) and all our pets, moving back in with my mom, and raising my kids on my own. I immediately enrolled in school, and have made A's in every class I've taken since then. To add to the distractions, three months after I left my husband I hooked up with my current boyfriend (whom I had known for years). So I have been mourning the loss of my marriage while also celebrating my new relationship. VERY confusing for me! It has been a constant rollercoaster of emotions for me for the last 1 1/2 yrs.

My divorce finally became final last Friday, and I found out the next day that I have been accepted to nursing school for the spring semester. It was a weird, emotional week!

School has helped me get through. It provides a great distraction. I am thriving since I have started back, and anyone who knows me would agree, including my ex. My girls are doing great, too, luckily.

It will be hard, and like wildchipmunk said, one day you're on cloud nine; the next, you're bawling because a song reminds you of your ex. Just focus on school, and the rewards of doing what you dream of. I wish you the best of luck:)

BellasMommyOBRN · Dec 25, 2008

though i didn't go through the exact same situation, i believe the feelings to be similar. i had been with a man for about 3 years whom left me while i was pregnant with our daughter. it was difficult to deal with emotionally but, school kept my mind off of things. i did very well, and have ever since. like others have said, it will be a roller coaster of emotions. someone once explained to me that when someone you love is no longer a part of your life, you will mourn it like a death. i found that to be very true. allow yourself a good cry here and there. look at nursing school as something to look forward to.

good luck :heartbeat

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 25, 2008

i was married when i started graduate school; halfway through i got divorced. i, too was far from home, friends and family. school got me through the mourning of my marriage, i think. no matter how miserable i was, 2 + 2 was always 4 and the square root of 9 was always 3! the lonlier i was, the more i studied, the more i studied the better grades i got, and the better grades i got the more my classmates wanted to be in my study group! it all worked out. good luck with it!