..So im being "forced" to take the NCLEX one last time

[MaleNursesRock]

My story in sum>

I took the CA NCLEX on jan 25th, i was #18 sudent in my class to take it. there were 3 more people since then to take it after me.

ALL of them saw their names on the BRN, some it took 17 days, som 2, some 8 etc.. (ill get back to this later)

Anyway, so i called the BRN like 4 times and each time they have been VERY rude.. i would call and say "sir, i was just calling to see if my file was complete, " and basically they went into a tirad, yelling at me (although they say they wernt yelling..i am an ex-psych counsloe (4 yr degree) Ex military, (desert storm veteran) ex cop..I have some life experience, i know yelling, or speaken down to. they yelled, (said) my file was complete and im being "processed"

so im taking this as i failed, NO other reason why i havnt seen my name on the site.

So i quit my job. which i love, and am loved where i work. i felt that if the BRN didnt think i was a "minumum standrard nurse", i shouldnt be in patient care.

So, i was content to walk away forever, i was a cop i was going to be one again.

My wife, freindsm family, co-workers, patients, Boss, etc..."urged" me to give it another try. i agreed but heres my questions.

1. If someone fails to meet the "minumum standards of nursing", then thats BAD....I passed nursing school well, i felt that i was at least above "minimum standards", at work i felt i performed my job and treated pts above "MINIMUM STANDARDS"...

If I failed the test once, what makes me think i can take the same test agian and pass, ??

what has changed since then ? I still know the same things ? my nursing knowledge didnt increase all of a sudden ? Im still going to have anxiety when taking thae test, (more so the 2nd time), so i dont see how trying to climb that "same wall, that i failed to climb before"

The first time i gave it my all, i have no excuses i did my best. and my best wasnt good enough. How can i do better than my best next time ??

I loved nursing, i loved my job..

I just dont want to set myself up for failure YET again, i cant do this again, waing up at 4 am everyday to check the website, HOPING i see my name..and thinking of nothing else all day,waiting for the next day. and the next.

i am so utterly discouraged,

question 2

WHY o WHY does it take soooo long to post results orWHY cant they just say if you passed or not ?? (the BRN) whats the big secret ?? this is our lively hood and they act like we are commiting a crime by calling them for information ??

this is 2008 ..once you click that last answer..it is sent IMMEDIATELY to the BRN, everyone knows your results instantly, except for the person that really matters, the BRN has already cleared you..(i.e background check) what else do they possible have to do now ?? after you take the test ??

Why does it take soo long ?? and why doesnt it have any rhyme or reason..Person A takes his test before Person B..shouldnt they process persons A's score first ?? unreal.

..so for the sake of my family, freinds and co-workers i am going to take it one last time..I am going to give it all that i have left (which isnt much) but it will be 100%, that way i will have no excuses later in life when i look back on all of this.

I just wish i didnt live in california, where EVERY WHERE else has 24-48 hr "quickresults"...

I dont want many of you that havnt tested to feel discouraged, I am probably not as smart as most of you. Im sure you all will do fine. I will pray for you all. Good luck. Pass or fail, i will post my final message when i know the next time.

JON

[MaleNursesRock]

Sorry, i dont know this posted twice ??