Single mom, no help, nurse schedules

itsmejuli · Mar 7, 2010

What do you mean your ex-husband can't help out because he's having a baby? That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard.

MacD · Mar 8, 2010

Look into OR positions they usually start at approx 0530 and in the afternoon

iluvivt, BSN, RN · Mar 8, 2010

You are too nice!!!! So when his son with you does NOT fit into his new life he is ALL your responsibility AGAIN!! OK so if that is the case you will have him 100 percent of the time..then you will get more child support and believe me when he sees the BIG difference he may change his mind and decide to GROW up and raise his son and co-parent like a real man...Aside from that....its HARD..especially when they are in school...you need a GOOD support system..I have been doing it for 12 LONG yrs now...if you want to keep your involved and he can be a good father...I would do that....these are really important decisions and you may want to see a counselor to help you sort it out

ukstudent · Mar 8, 2010

Your ex-husband becoming a new father does not stop him from being a father to your son. You go to court and get joint custody. He look after him while you are working, you have him when you are not. Try and get a job that has a set schedule, such as every weekend.

Lovelee82 · Mar 9, 2010

My friend has the same problem and her ex is not around either. Her son is a little older but this is how she does it 3 days a week. She has someone ( roommate or friend ) get him up and off to school by 8. He is in school til 5 because of an afterschool program then she has another babysitter pick him up, get him home, homework and fed and then she is home by 8pm. It may take some coordination using more than one babysitter. College students usually have the best schedules to accommodating a couple of hours of work a day. Are there any play groups that you can join? I have a couple of mommy/daddy friends where we trade babysitting hours. Its a mixed group of stay at home and working moms & dads.

•M♥J• · Mar 9, 2010

I'm not even going to go into your ex husband's issues. Ugh.

Do you live near a college? I'm assuming so since you are in college, too lol. When I was an undergrad, I nannied a lot because it really is a win-win situation. It is easy to find someone with day classes so they can get to your house in the morning to cart your son off to school and pick him up later in the afternoon. Then, when they are home with him and are tending to his needs (food, bath time, playtime) they can get some studying in! If you are working a 7-7 shift, you would be home probably when we is going down or right after he has, so you have some time to unwind. This will only be a couple of days a week, the rest you have with your boy to spend time with and catch up on mommy time when he is in school.

If you work nights, you can definitely find a college student or nanny to spend the night with him. I actually had a friend who nannied for a nurse who would work the night shift 3-4 nights a week. My friend could of course sleep, and when they got up, she got him ready for school, made him lunch, then took him there. Then she had the rest of the day to do whatever she did. Perhaps you could even consider a live-in nanny, if you're up to it. That way, you wouldn't have to necessarily pay a lot of money for them, just have sort of a roommate and provide food (which can be dangerous to do for a college student ). I hope I helped you out!

kcochrane · Mar 9, 2010

A lot of good advice here. I agree that you ex needs to at least keep some regular visitation with his son. That will help you on those days.

Check into hospitals and facilites that may have onsite day care. Many places do still have 8 hours shifts so keep your eye out there.

Good luck!

GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN · Mar 9, 2010

I would expect your ex to help some with partial custody. Just b/c he is starting a new family doesn't mean he gets to throw away the family he already started. I would look for a night shift job and find a nanny/baby sitter willing to sleep at your house/feed/dress/bathe/make your kids lunch and get him off to school. You may be able to find someone at a college for fairly cheap if all they have to do is sleep and get them out the door in the morning. That would be a dream job for some college students, getting paid to sleep and work only an hour. You could probably get away with paying them $20 a night doing that. You will sleep when he is at school, and be awake by the time for pick up/he gets home. Then you will have a few hours with him. If you work 12 hour days you won't really see him on the days you work.