Feeling like an idiot.

I've only been a nurse since February. I'm officially on my own now and I have had some not so good shifts. Between really heavy patients and figuring things out for myself. I am having some serious self doubt. I have anxiety attacks before going into work. I knew this year would by far be my least favorite and the hardest, but I feel like an incompetent moron. I forget things I have to constantly ask questions and I just feel like I am not good at this. I even landed a job on what I though would be my dream floor. Now I'm thinking this is not where I am meant to be. I am attributing this to it's my first year of nursing and I need to not be so hard on myself. And don't get me wrong nursing is what I was made for, but I feel like I'm all alone right now. Like there isn't possibly anyone who feels the way I do. I'm hoping I'm not the only new grad that feels this way.

You're on the "First Year After Licensure" forum. READ some of the posts on here. Almost everyone hated their first job, felt incompetent, cried on the way to work and on the way home and sometimes AT work. The first year is very, very difficult. Most of us felt (and were) incompetent. We asked a million questions and we felt like utter morons. Most of us actually survived our first year, and some of us even thrived. The first year sucks and the catch is you have to GO through it to GET through it.

By the way -- as an experienced nurse, I'm always happy to see a new grad who feels like an incompetent moron. Those feelings are what is going to keep you from making a dreadful error one day. Nothing scares me more than a new nurse who thinks she knows everything!