I'm a director, not a nurse

Im in the middle school with approx 740 6th, 7th and 8th graders. Sometimes I feel more like a Zoo keeper. Most of the time, its worth a good laugh, but they sure are handfuls!!!!!

Although I am not a school nurse I find it fascinating that your students are so similar to well no intentional degrading thought here but they are a lot like the inmates I have taken care of in the past. Many fake falling, chest pain, allergic reaction, difficulty breathing, amnesia, I had one come to my infectious disease prison in an electric wheelchair, he had that chair for 2 years, broke parole and ended up in prison, only I spied him and his sneaky ways... and low and behold he could get up from the chair, walk to turn the little inpatient room TV channel, after I took away the remote control. Maybe Erickson's Stages really are worth a second look.

I have one of those as well! The first time each specials teacher saw the student fall down they were quite concerned until I nonchalantly said, "ok, friend- time to get up now."

And interestingly enough this kiddo has an older sibling who likes to clutch their chest and act like having a heart attack. They have different last names so I didn't make the connection until both did their thing in the same week and I called mom twice in two days. I about hit myself that I didn't make the connection.

I wonder if those kids have parents that demonstrate the same histrionics at times. Like they see the parents' desired outcomes achieved and they then imitate/initiate behaviors for their own gain.

And then there are the 'status dramaticus' students. "And the Academy Award goes to ...".

I have a student with a true seizure disorder that has started this. They called me last week because she "just felt weird. They wanted me to let her sit in my room all day. Um no we cant prevent a seizure we just have to provide safety so she needs to remain in class. She ultimately went home but shes figured out when she gets tired and doesnt want to work anymore she can scare the teachers by saying "I feel weird". She did not end up having a seizure. Then yesterday the gym teacher called and said she was lying in the floor unresponsive. I get out there and basically said "Get up and lets go to my room" and miraculously she got up and followed direction. They wanted her to stay in my room again for hours. She took a 15 min nap and off she went back class.

I several "drama queens" where EVERY. LITTLE. THING. IS. A. BIG. SCENE.

Drives me crazy, because then if you don't take it seriously, they tell their parents that I ignored them, and then I get in trouble! Even though the little s* just wants attention!

I worked at a special needs camp for anyone over 18. Thankfully the director warned me about a young man who was a drama king lol. I got called because he was on the floor with chest pain. He was perfectly fine

Then yesterday the gym teacher called and said she was lying in the floor unresponsive. I get out there and basically said "Get up and lets go to my room" and miraculously she got up and followed direction. They wanted her to stay in my room again for hours. She took a 15 min nap and off she went back class.

Unresponsive... "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means...." (Said in my best Inigo Montoya voice.)

This runs rampant at my school! Of course, when you have a staff full of drama kings / queens - the students don't take long to emulate.