How to confront a disrespectful professor

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Hi, I'm a block 4 nursing student. I'm dealing with what I feel is a disrespectful nursing professor. I recently asked for an extension on a care plan and was refused saying that I'd had more than enough time to complete it and that if I didn't turn it in on time, I wouldn't be able to complete my clinical experience. Now, I am a 37 year old mom with 6 kids who maintained a 4.0 throughout my prerequisites and while I have not been able to maintain a 4.0, I still a reasonable GPA and have not had to repeat any blocks. The week the careplan was due, I had simulation along with its prep, a school nurse clinical along with it's prep, normal prep for class, my bachelors program (I'm in the concurrent enrollment program) work. (And if that weren't enough my kids seemed to be all falling apart at the same time and with my husband working 60+ hours a week, I had to handle stuff at home. I literally asked her for a few more hours to complete it. She later told me "Do not mistake my kindness for a weakness and take advantage of me trying to be fair. This is my only warning." I honestly feel like I deserve more respect than to be treated like some slacker student who is trying to get out of an assignment. So... I am planning to confront her. By confront, I of course mean a sit down where we have a civil conversation about the matter. So my question is... How should I handle this? I want to approach her in a manner that is respectful and actually resolves the situation. But I need help figuring out how to do this. I've already requested an appointment with her.

@Code Caffeine. Thank you so much for your compassionate reply and for giving me the benefit of the doubt. The world needs more people like you. :)

Wow. Okay. Well, I'm new to allnurses. Thank you for the warm welcome. I've heard people say that nurses tend to eat their young, but this is the first time I've truly experienced it. Go ahead and "tell" on me since I hadn't yet replied. I was still figuring out how this site worked and this was the first I've been able to even see that I had replies. With the exception of only two people, you all assumed the absolute worst about me. I think it's great that you've never been in a situation that you did not feel the need to ask for help. Good for you! I wish I had your life. I'm obviously alone when my life gets to be a hot mess every now and then and I need a little bit of help to make it through. I do not make a habit of asking for extensions. In fact, I've always prided myself on turning in quality work on time. I've never dealt with this particular professor before, this was literally my first week with her and it killed me to have to ask for an extension. I was so ashamed. And yes, it was her right to deny an extension. And I would have accepted that. But a simple "No, I'm sorry, but I don't give extensions." would have sufficed. Being threatened with graduation and told not to mistake her kindness for weakness was completely unnecessary. I am really surprised that most did not find that to be unprofessional. It makes me wonder what your idea of professional is. My idea of professional is treating people with kindness and respect. I was not trying to take advantage of her. I was just overwhelmed and asking for help. Oh, and it turns out that half my group also asked for extensions because the load was just too much that week. I feel like people forget that there is life outside work/school. And if there's a deadline that can't be moved, so be it. That doesn't mean that the manager/professor has to be a jerk about it. You were right that I didn't give you all the details. But I had things that needed to be dealt with. No, no one in my family had died or been hospitalized. But I expect as nurses you already know that half the job is preventing a patient from getting worse. I have the same job as a mom and I had a situation with one child in particular that was quickly spirally out of control and that needed to be dealt with immediately. Yes, I had a babysitter. Two, in fact. But it was more than they could handle and I was called in. It was a really crappy day, but it happens. Sure, I could have just said 'I don't have time to deal with your nonsense right now. I have homework to do.' But I am a mom, and my family comes first. Sometimes at the expense of my grade. To the person that suggested that I should do part time, I did. I did every single one of my prerequisites part-time. All the way up until nursing school where it wasn't an option. So I told my family to buckle up because it's going to be a hard 2 years. I don't feel like I should be threatened with not graduating just because I needed a few more hours on a care plan. (I know I didn't mention graduation, but not completing a clinical experience=not graduating). Yes, I turned that care plan in. It was half finished, but I turned it in at exactly the time she asked for it. To those who accused me of feeling entitled, needing help does not equal entitlement. I never said I deserved an extension. I was drowning and needed a hand. What you interpreted as entitlement was me trying to express my desperation. Perhaps I could have written the entire thing differently. Actually, I never should have brought it here at all. By the way, I talked to my clinical professor. It turns out that her last group really did a number on her. So she came down hard on my group expecting the same. We're cool now. We had a heart-to-heart and she knows that I am not a slacker trying to take advantage of her. So there's that. Well, I think I've learned my lesson here. To the two people who gave me the benefit of the doubt, thank you. Your comments really encouraged me.

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

"How should I handle this?" (Quote from OP)

OP: You asked and I gave you my honest opinion based on my experience/history. I don't think this was NETY, nor do I think that you "experienced it" on this thread. You got opinions that you asked for.

I am glad that everything worked out OK for you.

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

An opinion that you disagree with is not "eating the young".

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Staff note - As the original poster has gotten the situation taken care of, maybe we can all move on? Please

When the op said "now im 37 years old" that gave me a tinge of "im older and therefore ypu cant treat me like the other young'ns around here" that ends up translating into complications when a younger nurse ends up precepting and has to direct the student/orientee.

With all the responses that have been posted, i dont imagine youll see or read this but if you do, i strongly suggest you restructure your outlook on what you feel youre owed or you deserve.

Swim with the current, roll with the punches, and fly under the radar friend. Nothing good comes from swimming against the current.

And for what its worth, i got into a big ordeal with my folks that ended in me being kicked out. Pride wouldnt allow me to room with a friend, so for nearly an entire semester i slept in my car, in the parking lot of campus. Still made it with no extensions, exceptions, or special treatment.

Oh wow just saw your last post, haha welcome to all nurses, for the love of god do not use the NETY term here (nurses eating their young) youre going to get ripped to shreds especially since youre not evena nurse yet.

if you think this is you getting "eaten" youre going to have an excruciating career.

Abort mission, i repeat, abort mission!!

6 Kids????!! :nailbiting::no:

Wow. Okay. Well, I'm new to allnurses. Thank you for the warm welcome. I've heard people say that nurses tend to eat their young, but this is the first time I've truly experienced it. Go ahead and "tell" on me since I hadn't yet replied. I was still figuring out how this site worked and this was the first I've been able to even see that I had replies. With the exception of only two people, you all assumed the absolute worst about me. I think it's great that you've never been in a situation that you did not feel the need to ask for help. Good for you! I wish I had your life. I'm obviously alone when my life gets to be a hot mess every now and then and I need a little bit of help to make it through. I do not make a habit of asking for extensions. In fact, I've always prided myself on turning in quality work on time. I've never dealt with this particular professor before, this was literally my first week with her and it killed me to have to ask for an extension. I was so ashamed. And yes, it was her right to deny an extension. And I would have accepted that. But a simple "No, I'm sorry, but I don't give extensions." would have sufficed. Being threatened with graduation and told not to mistake her kindness for weakness was completely unnecessary. I am really surprised that most did not find that to be unprofessional. It makes me wonder what your idea of professional is. My idea of professional is treating people with kindness and respect. I was not trying to take advantage of her. I was just overwhelmed and asking for help. Oh, and it turns out that half my group also asked for extensions because the load was just too much that week. I feel like people forget that there is life outside work/school. And if there's a deadline that can't be moved, so be it. That doesn't mean that the manager/professor has to be a jerk about it. You were right that I didn't give you all the details. But I had things that needed to be dealt with. No, no one in my family had died or been hospitalized. But I expect as nurses you already know that half the job is preventing a patient from getting worse. I have the same job as a mom and I had a situation with one child in particular that was quickly spirally out of control and that needed to be dealt with immediately. Yes, I had a babysitter. Two, in fact. But it was more than they could handle and I was called in. It was a really crappy day, but it happens. Sure, I could have just said 'I don't have time to deal with your nonsense right now. I have homework to do.' But I am a mom, and my family comes first. Sometimes at the expense of my grade. To the person that suggested that I should do part time, I did. I did every single one of my prerequisites part-time. All the way up until nursing school where it wasn't an option. So I told my family to buckle up because it's going to be a hard 2 years. I don't feel like I should be threatened with not graduating just because I needed a few more hours on a care plan. (I know I didn't mention graduation, but not completing a clinical experience=not graduating). Yes, I turned that care plan in. It was half finished, but I turned it in at exactly the time she asked for it. To those who accused me of feeling entitled, needing help does not equal entitlement. I never said I deserved an extension. I was drowning and needed a hand. What you interpreted as entitlement was me trying to express my desperation. Perhaps I could have written the entire thing differently. Actually, I never should have brought it here at all. By the way, I talked to my clinical professor. It turns out that her last group really did a number on her. So she came down hard on my group expecting the same. We're cool now. We had a heart-to-heart and she knows that I am not a slacker trying to take advantage of her. So there's that. Well, I think I've learned my lesson here. To the two people who gave me the benefit of the doubt, thank you. Your comments really encouraged me.

I'm sorry but I have just one question: HOW DO YOU HAVE TIME TO WRITE ALL OF THIS IF YOU ARE A NURSING STUDENT?

Get back to work, no excuses.

I'm 41, work, have a family, my rent is insane, I've had two deaths in the family since I started school, there is a 2-4 year waiting list to get in to every nursing school from here to the sun, I've had bad teachers.

I've overcome adversity to get into my program (accelerated BSN; I started back in school August of 16' after 20 years of not studying) So after 1.5 years of blood sweat and tears(literally), not even death would stop me at this point; I will just ask to be propped up in a desk as rigor mortis sets in so I can continue my program with good posture. I suggest you sacrifice a little more and get through it. 2 years to go; bring it on

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