I am in my fifties. I have been a nurse for 30+ years. For 15 years, I had a job I loved with co-workers, I loved. I left six years ago. My original manager left and was replaced by a person who did not like me and whom I did not like. Frankly, she was very dishonest person. Eventually, after I left, she was replaced by one of her protégé's after having an affair with another administrative person at the facility.
Recently I had a very difficult family situation. I left an administrative job and worked at a small hospital with a very toxic culture for a short time. The unit and hospital where I worked has had many nurses who last just a few months. Though I thought I could go back to my old admin job, it was eliminated.
In the meantime, have been caring for my relative. For the Fall semester, I worked as adjunct faculty which went well. The course I taught is only offered in Fall. I have applied to several other jobs, but have not secured another position. I was asked by the school to return next year.
I had one interview and it was difficult for me to answer some of the questions they asked me to their satisfaction. I had been part of a friendly, but dysfunctional team in my last admin. position. When asked about my accomplishments and what projects I had led/completed, I stumbled. Honestly, we did not get a lot done in over 3 years. There was a takeover by a larger organization and three different nurse managers with whom I worked. The longest serving manager was a lovely person. However, she delegated significant tasks to staff who did not follow through. Projects I should have been involved with (and offered to participate in) were delegated to people who did nothing to move them ahead.
The sister hospital to my place of brief employment, had an open position which fit my qualifications. As a lark (almost...I thought they would not call),I applied. They actually interviewed me. It went well. Two weeks later, I got an email. They are pursuing other candidates. No other information available. I am not sure what happened. It may have been that I had quit the position at their other facility after just a few months. I was honest about this before I was ever interviewed and during the interview (I did not call it toxic). Three staff people from my former employer work at this facility because my former employer basically told them to leave or be fired. Perhaps they complained about me? I know as someone "in management" they disliked me.
So...coming up, I have another interview. Again, it is work which I have done before. I have MSN and multiple certifications. I am well qualified...but I am old. I don't ooze confidence. I used to love being a nurse. Between my family situation and lack of confidence, I am ready to give up. If I did not need to work, due to being so discouraged, I really would just give up. Maybe I should. I had even been accepted into a DNP program, but now cannot attend due to finances. What can I do? Should I go back to staff nursing and do adjunct on the side? It seems I have wasted so much of what I once had going for me. What can I do to boost my confidence and find that job I can retire from in 12-15 years?