Should I continue or should I not?????

Tristan Young · May 9, 2010

Hey, try! Being a health professional is awesome. Just think of the job security and the portability of being a nurse. Before i was in nursing school i was a waiter and hated every minute of it. I lived tip to tip... go for it. Just think how proud your kids will be!

libbyjeanne · May 9, 2010

Maybe the school offers a part-time program?

Elle_Guerira · May 9, 2010

There are a number of single mothers in my program, a few who work too. Trust me, you can do it! Think of your children as your motivation in pursuing your nursing degree :)

CaLLaCoDe, BSN, RN · May 9, 2010

I know that some schools provide child care if that's your worry.

Realistically a lot of nurses are unemployed, new nurse grads and nurses who have tons of experience. A catch 22: Without the experience you might find you're not employable following graduation. If your hearts in it and you know you'll love it once you graduate, go for it, just know employment might be a big hassle.

Sorry to be the rotten egg of the bunch. But hey, someone has to shed light on the situation.

tablefor9, RN · May 9, 2010

My older sister was a single mom with 6 kids...but she had a fair amount of family support watching the little ones. I think it's doable, because I worked a full time job while doing mine.

HTH,

T

kaliRN · May 9, 2010

I agree with all the PPs. Be realistic. Set yourself up for success and then move forward. With the climate of employment being what it is, consider the best way to gain employment after you graduate. Find out which strategies will maximize your success at graduation - like working as assistive personnel (CNA/PCA), choosing your preceptorship wisely, entering a nurse resident program.

Speak to enrollment counselors and map out the expectations of the programs at which you are applying. Factor in clinical hours, study and travel time, with classroom hours. Expect EVERYTHING to fall apart when you have plan A, B, and C in line. It's full-time for two years at the ADN level - it is a RARE exception to have part-time or weekend/night programs.

Childcare is daunting and complex and no one solution is right for everyone. Not sure if your children are old enough to still need supervision, but even if they do not, they probably need transportation to/from school and events. Think about household responsibilities in addition to the burden of your education. Who's going to make dinner for the kids when you have come home from a 12-hour clinical day?

Financially, what is your ability to support them if your income changes? Are you willing to give up your current job if necessary? Could student loans carry you through? Fill out your FAFSA and go into the financial aid office to explore your options. If you intend to work, can you go part-time or per diem if you need to?

That being said, I started nursing school pregnant, having just separated from my children's father. My oldest had just turned 3. I had my baby two days after 1st semester finals (and came back in the fall). I was one of several successful single mothers in my program. My favorite was an LVN-RN transition student, also pregnant and single, gave birth and came back 1 week later to finish the last half of our 4th semester. Every situation is different. Not everyone has the same support system. Not everyone has the same motivation.

I didn't know how many obstacles or barriers I would have in those 2 years. The skin of my teeth doesn't do it justice. But I know this is what I am meant to do ... and I decided very early on that overcoming barriers was my responsibility. I wish you all the best and please feel free to message me if I can offer any insight.

DayDreamin ER CRNP · May 9, 2010

I could have written your post 3 years ago. I was 37 at the time so pretty close. I am very lucky that my ex lives just a few blocks down the same street. I also have a great group of neighborhood friends that are supportive and carpool to soccer and stuff when needed.

I am in a full time program and was enrolled in a full course load for most of the first year of lower division studies - English, chemistry, etc. When it came time to start nursing school the load was heavier but still doable. It is no cake walk and there are times I miss stuff with my daughter but the time has flown and it makes the time we do have together much sweeter.

I've missed some of her soccer practices and a a few non-important games and I even missed most of an out of town tournament but she has been great about it all for now.

The key for me is that I have to set limits on everything and some stuff around the house just doesn't always get done. It may sound nuts but I hired a housekeeper. I did that at the beginning of starting the nursing program and it was the best thing I ever did for myself and this house. Not having that looming over my head on a sunday afternoon or whatever makes studying much easier.

I also get take out more, we eat hamburger helper more, my clothes aren't always perfectly ironed, my bed isn't always made but we are healthy. I'm not a straight-A student but I'm VERY close. Could I make all As? Yeah, maybe so but I'm totally fine with my Bs and As.

It is very give and take for me. I might skip a night of studying to catch a game or just because my child needs her mom that night but she also knows that the day before a test is a day she spends with dad. My ex is pretty accessible and flexible and so is my mom and that helps a lot. You will just have to plan. When you know you have a test the next day, that is when dad gets the kiddos. Keep a planner and use Google Calendars to stay in sync and set some ground rules and you should be fine.

Is it tough? You bet. Can you do it? I'm know you can just remember you are not SuperMom and having a layer of dust on the dresser is OK. Say it with me....."It is ok to have Hamburger Helper. It is ok if the floor isn't vacuumed. It is ok if the house is a little messy."

Keep repeating that mantra and you'll be GREAT!

meredith

cb_rn · May 9, 2010

Hey, try! Being a health professional is awesome. Just think of the job security and the portability of being a nurse. Before i was in nursing school i was a waiter and hated every minute of it. I lived tip to tip... go for it. Just think how proud your kids will be!

I'm sorry, I have to comment on this. Do not go to nursing school because you think it will give you portability and job security. Right now, in this economy, this is a fallacy. I know grads from 2009 that do not have jobs yet or had to take miserable jobs they never imagined they would be stuck with because the hospitals aren't posting as many positions as they were just a few short years ago. You may see 50 job postings on a hospital website but the reality is they are often just advertising for show with intentions to hire internally. Portability? My husband is military. I've had 4 licenses and they are expensive to obtain. If you don't work in a compact state, you have to get a new license. If you do work in one and you move to another one, you have to surrender the old compact state license and purchase one in your new compact state. In a couple of the states I have licenses, I must keep renewing because if you let the license lapse and then move back, reinstatement is far more costly that the original endorsement license. If you need a temporary to start work it is even higher in cost. Not to mention the expense of requesting and paying for all the transcripts from your college.

If you want to be a nurse, be a nurse. But be one because you want to and feel like you have a calling, not because you think you're going to make $25 an hour and pay off all your debt or that you will magically have any nursing job you want because it doesn't happen. You find new bills to pay and new things to pay for (that stethoscope around your neck runs around $80 or more if you really want to be able to hear anything and those uniforms aren't cheap)

If you've always wanted to be a nurse, do it. Millions of people have gotten through school with amazing stories of perserverance because they had no other choice and I know of many, many, many that just couldn't handle it and dropped out. You have to look inside of you and decide. You will not be able to work full time, you will not see your kids as much, you will be studying and researching and buried in a book for the next 2 years. It may be totally worth it for you and it may not. We can't give you this answer.

Good luck.

Hopeful3 · May 9, 2010

I know many speak of the "calling" for nursing but I went into it because I knew I was guaranteed a job (I know the economy sucks, and you have to research your area) - this is about the most risk free area you can find work right now. It is tough all around but there is a better chance in the medical field if you can hack it. Is anything ever guaranteed? Nope... but this is pretty close. May not get your dream job but you will have work.

I am 35 years old with three kids, and had to be realistic and I wanted to WORK. I am so glad I did it, I graduate in two years and I am working as a tech now. LOVE it- but it is all about the big "A" word. ATTITUDE!

AE78 · May 9, 2010

Hey chick,

I'm a great believer in trying things and at the end of the day if it doesn't work out at least you tried. I'm 31 never wanted to be a nurse but decided to try it as my wife (soon to be ex wife) had just started the course and raved about it so much i thought it sounded good. Prior to doing my training I had had a lot of different jobs in offices which I hated. I was always looking for something more meaningful, where i could help people and make a difference. I can honestly say I have found that in nursing. I have been qualified for a year and a half and planning my escape to Vancouver sometime in the next couple of years. Nursing will be one of the most challenging but best things you will ever do if you can persevere and get through the difficult times. Yes it can be hard and at times you will hate it but what you learn along the way about yourself and others is invaluable. It will change your perspective on many areas of life, but in a good way. I believe anything in life is possible and achievable if you want it enough. You do need to be realistic but have faith in the fact that life has a funny way of helping you out sometimes. It's amazing who comes into your life at just the right time to help you.

If this is what you want, go for it. Your divorce is finalised, I don't know the circumstances but can probably guess you are at a bit of a crossroads and ready to start a new chapter in life. This may be just what you need and what an achievement. If you can knuckle down for the next 2 years I'm sure it'll be worth it. As Hopeful3 rightly said, it is about attitude. Keep positive and best of luck.

Alayne xx

mustlovepoodles, RN · May 10, 2010

My mother found herself in your position at around the same age. She had seen the hand-writing on the wall about 3 years prior and had gotten her LPN. But when my father left her with an old car, very little money, and 5 teens to feed she had to find a way to make more money. So she worked overtime every chance she got. She only took 2 days off per month. And of course, we didn't see my mom much for weeks on end. Finally, she decided that she *had* to get her RN if she was ever going to advance. So she went to community college and talked to the financial aid counselor. As a single parent she was eligible for several grants. Mother worked full-time nights and went to school during the day. It was very hard, but it paid off in the end. As an RN she made enough to manage and have some days off. She never regretted her decision and to this day, age 75, she keeps her license current. She is most proud to be a nurse.