Should I become a Nurse?

[akr21]

I am looking for advice as to whether I should make a career change and go into nursing. A little background: I am currently an x-ray tech at a large hospital in my hometown. I've been a tech for 6 years now but for the past couple years I have lost the passion for my job and have been wanting to do something "more." I lost my husband to cancer last year at the age of 29. I was his primary caregiver and took care of him on my own with some help from home hospice until he passed. My experience with taking care of my husband and going through his cancer journey with him has changed me so much. Although it was the most heartbreaking experience I will probably ever endure, it was also the most rewarding to be able to take care of him and help him live out his days in the ways I know he would have wanted. I have spent the last 5 years of my life going with my husband to doctor's appointments, making treatment decisions, spending our days getting chemo infusions, radiation treatments, PT, OT and ST. I have built close relationships with our nurses and even stay in touch with a couple of them today. Although I am still young, I feel that I have a lot of life experience already that is leading me towards nursing.

I have always had a passion for taking care of others and I can't imagine doing anything else, but I do have some concerns about making the change. I am worried with the direction the health care field is going. The hospital I work at is constantly short on staff, and when new employees are brought in they are not always given long enough training because that cuts into the budget. I know this is a growing trend everywhere. There are many days that I get overwhelmed with my current job because we are always so slammed so I worry about how I would handle being a nurse. I see what they go through everyday and I don't know if I could do it. What if I don't get the adequate training that I need? What if I have too many patients to handle and I make a mistake that would cause someone harm, or worse, kill someone? I am terrified at the thought of causing someone harm. Are my fears legitimate or am I worrying too much? Does everyone have the fear of harming someone at some point? I already know that bedside nursing will probably not be for me. Does that mean I should not pursue nursing? I am really interested in outpatient oncology. I think this pace would be much better suited for my personality and I want to be able to get to know my patients and follow them on their cancer journey. I do know that some experience with bedside nursing might be required and that is where most of my fears lie! If I do make this change to go back to school I want it to be the last time so I am taking it very seriously and I would appreciate any advice/insight you all have to offer!