Students cutting themselves

Specialties School

Published

How do you guys deal with this? My school admin know about this and the student is getting the help she needs, but this was the first time I saw her scars and I almost cried, because she's such a sweet girl and her doing this to herself?

How do you keep yourself from breaking apart seeing these sad moments?

Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.
Umm, thanks?

My daughter was a cutter. Let me tell you something, it sucks to see your kid hurting so badly, that she feels cutting herself is her only option to feel better. "Obviously spoiled" is not a term that I would use to describe my child, or others that I have encountered who cut.

I am not a teen mother, had her when I was 28 years old in case you were wondering. She always had a warm meal and a bed at home. I am not going to bore you with my life and her life story, but suffice it to say, this type of behavior can happen to anyone, from any walk of life.

I find your response to this type of behavior from students under our care as school nurses very judgmental, and kind of confusing. I don't understand what you mean by a "resourceful" and "informal" parent.

Our job as school nurses is to meet the student where they are emotionally and physically, and be a calm, non-judgmental resource for these students. I don't assume anything about a student who comes to me with cutting behaviors. I physically assess the cuts and treat them, I assess suicidal ideation, and I refer to guidance. Often times guidance will bring these students to me for treatment.

I wholly agree with this post, as someone that used cutting as a coping mechanism from ages 8-20+. I grew up in a middle class family with wonderful parents and family support. They would have been devastated had they known about my habit. To this day I have one friend that found out accidentally, which always burns me when people say it's all about getting attention. I was a master at hiding it, and I don't really think it's a big deal. For me, because I was unable to identify an actual source of pain, I would create one to focus on. I'm not sure the day I no longer needed it, but I could feel that I would be overwhelmed by something (I tended to be a bit dramatic back in those days), and literally the feel of a nice clean cut and the sight of the blood would bring me right back to normal. I reused the same spots, always where they would be covered by clothing, and really had no reason to bring it to anyone else's attention. I outgrew it and I've lived a happy (and relatively non-dramatic) adult life. I would just recommend for those students that aren't use the behavior to seek attention (dramatic cut sites or words, etc), just offer minimal acknowledgment and support. Making too big a deal out of it won't help- in my opinion.

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).

What every parent and teacher needs to know about cutting

The Cutting Edge: What Every Parent and Teacher Needs to Know

Hppy

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Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.
I've seen some scars and had a look on my face like "what the hell is wrong with you?"

I blame parents. Parents are who kids, from the chute on up to 18, spend the most time with....

...Combine what I said with the country they live in, the USA and its resources for opportunities for growth to other kids in say Philipines and Syria and their resources and opportunities for growth, you'll see how "obliviously spoiled" the self-slicer truly is. Adults are also the same minus the cutting. Obliviously spoiled.

Your entire comment makes me feel sad and also kind of horrified. I think you are way off base.

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Specializes in kids.
Met two individuals who cut. Girl in high school carved name of boy on her lower arm. She was a 'marginal' student who told the school counselor that she was leaving school after tenth grade to marry a sailor. Last we saw of her. Another person in the military said she had kept her cutting behavior a secret when she enlisted because she did not want to be disqualified. She disclosed that, and probably other situations, when she decided she wanted out. Not all cutting is suicidal in nature but it certainly is not the norm. Very good advice given above.

Wow, Me thinks you have a long way to go on your road to becoming a nurse. In that process you will take some psych classes and have some pysch experience, I hope.

I hope that once you get into school, graduate and get out, of school and THEN pass your NCLEX, you will have gained some real world experience and a filter.

There is much for you to learn, grasshopper

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Wow, Me thinks you have a long way to go on your road to becoming a nurse. In that process you will take some psych classes and have some pysch experience, I hope.

I hope that once you get into school, graduate and get out, of school and THEN pass your NCLEX, you will have gained some real world experience and a filter.

There is much for you to learn, grasshopper

Uhhhh, don't have to take the NCLEX. Been practicing nursing for almost 30 years thank you very much.

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Specializes in kids.
Uhhhh, don't have to take the NCLEX. Been practicing nursing for almost 30 years thank you very much.

oopsie I was replying to someone else! My apologies!

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Specializes in kids.
Wow, Me thinks you have a long way to go on your road to becoming a nurse. In that process you will take some psych classes and have some pysch experience, I hope.

I hope that once you get into school, graduate and get out, of school and THEN pass your NCLEX, you will have gained some real world experience and a filter.

There is much for you to learn, grasshopper

I replied to the worng person so sorry!!!

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Specializes in kids.
I've seen some scars and had a look on my face like "what the hell is wrong with you?"

I blame parents. Parents are who kids, from the chute on up to 18, spend the most time with. No other adult. What time they spend in classroom is nowhere near as long as how they spend it with their personal families at home. Teachers won't provide you with breakfast and a warm meal at night and a bed. The parents do. That means that the amount of time they grow and learn how to behave is dependent on how the parent behaves and acts. If the parent likes to be informal and not resourceful, the kid will probably have an expectation that their parent will take care of them until they grow up and can feel good about leaving the house without a worry in the world about how they'll pay their rent. This is not always true. Eventually, the parent will grow tired of the kid thinking that the kid has no direction, but because the parent lacks resourceful information that provides useful for the kid, the parent struggles. Parents who are informal/formal and resourceful will raise kids probably the most effective way to live.

Helicopter parenting is one informal way, but it's not resourceful, therefore, not effective parenting method.

Combine what I said with the country they live in, the USA and its resources for opportunities for growth to other kids in say Philipines and Syria and their resources and opportunities for growth, you'll see how "obliviously spoiled" the self-slicer truly is. Adults are also the same minus the cutting. Obliviously spoiled.

Just a logical observation.

Wow, Me thinks you have a long way to go on your road to becoming a nurse. In that process you will take some psych classes and have some pysch experience, I hope.

I hope that once you get into school, graduate and get out, of school and THEN pass your NCLEX, you will have gained some real world experience and a filter.

There is much for you to learn, grasshopper

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I replied to the worng person so sorry!!!

Kind of thought so, but wasn't sure. People can be free and easy with their criticism around this site and your response perplexed me more than anything else! Beldar's post kind of threw me off too.

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Specializes in kids.
Kind of thought so, but wasn't sure. People can be free and easy with their criticism around this site and your response perplexed me more than anything else! Beldar's post kind of threw me off too.

I looked at the profile....it said a lot. I don't usually dump on people unless they really ask for it!

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I've seen some scars and had a look on my face like "what the hell is wrong with you?"

I blame parents. Parents are who kids, from the chute on up to 18, spend the most time with. No other adult. What time they spend in classroom is nowhere near as long as how they spend it with their personal families at home. Teachers won't provide you with breakfast and a warm meal at night and a bed. The parents do. That means that the amount of time they grow and learn how to behave is dependent on how the parent behaves and acts. If the parent likes to be informal and not resourceful, the kid will probably have an expectation that their parent will take care of them until they grow up and can feel good about leaving the house without a worry in the world about how they'll pay their rent. This is not always true. Eventually, the parent will grow tired of the kid thinking that the kid has no direction, but because the parent lacks resourceful information that provides useful for the kid, the parent struggles. Parents who are informal/formal and resourceful will raise kids probably the most effective way to live.

Helicopter parenting is one informal way, but it's not resourceful, therefore, not effective parenting method.

Combine what I said with the country they live in, the USA and its resources for opportunities for growth to other kids in say Philipines and Syria and their resources and opportunities for growth, you'll see how "obliviously spoiled" the self-slicer truly is. Adults are also the same minus the cutting. Obliviously spoiled.

Just a logical observation.

Not to sound nasty but if it's self harm it usually isn't for suicidal reasons. I had to do a report on it a few years ago and the stat at the time was like 1 in 6 or something along that lines. They use it as an outlet "letting the hurt out" or letting the stress out. they usually don't flaunt it and many parents don't know it is even occurring until years down the road, one of my friend's parents didn't realize she was doing it until she had to rush her to the ER. Females in their teens are more likely to do it but it isn't just a teen thing, one research I found had kids as early as 5-6 and people over 60. the most common demographic is middle class. It is not just found in the U.S. as many citations I used were from all over the world.

I have sat with several patients with that need to self harm for long periods of time just listening to them tell me about why they felt like they couldn't talk about it, mainly because of judgement. Ultimately it is our jobs as nurses NOT to judge, we don't know the situation that made them self harm. We are to be supportive and lend an ear to them, providing unjudgemental guidance WHEN they ask for it, not pushing out opinions on them.

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Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.
I've seen some scars and had a look on my face like "what the hell is wrong with you?"

I blame parents. Parents are who kids, from the chute on up to 18, spend the most time with. No other adult. What time they spend in classroom is nowhere near as long as how they spend it with their personal families at home. Teachers won't provide you with breakfast and a warm meal at night and a bed. The parents do. That means that the amount of time they grow and learn how to behave is dependent on how the parent behaves and acts. If the parent likes to be informal and not resourceful, the kid will probably have an expectation that their parent will take care of them until they grow up and can feel good about leaving the house without a worry in the world about how they'll pay their rent. This is not always true. Eventually, the parent will grow tired of the kid thinking that the kid has no direction, but because the parent lacks resourceful information that provides useful for the kid, the parent struggles. Parents who are informal/formal and resourceful will raise kids probably the most effective way to live.

Helicopter parenting is one informal way, but it's not resourceful, therefore, not effective parenting method.

Combine what I said with the country they live in, the USA and its resources for opportunities for growth to other kids in say Philipines and Syria and their resources and opportunities for growth, you'll see how "obliviously spoiled" the self-slicer truly is. Adults are also the same minus the cutting. Obliviously spoiled.

Just a logical observation.

I don't think there's one thing in this post I find logical.

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