Don't know how to feel about this

  1. ***Admin please DO NOT post on Facebook***

    So you guys know me, I been here for 3 years and I have anxiety sometimes. Especially when I think I got in trouble for something.

    Today we had a meeting with a parent because she is upset about her daughter's care. Student has leg issues and lately mother has stated she has a tumor, but we have not gotten ANY paperwork that states this. Student is always in pain, and as much as I can as a Medical Assistant, and I know any nurse can do, there's not much we can do for them here. We can't give medications to them without doctor's approval, we can't do anything that we shouldn't do without doctor's orders. I have explained this to this mother, VARIOUS of time since I started working here. I have also expressed a lot that I am NOT a nurse. But she was still upset because I could not write a note that says that she can miss school if she's in pain. I told her she needs a doctor's note for that and even her doctor expressed this to me as well.

    So she wanted a meeting, in the meeting she stated she was upset that the PE teacher is making her exercise and said we should know her condition because she's been here for years, but the thing is the paperwork has expired and there's nothing on paper that says it's indefinite.

    The student has an IEP, but we don't have much information about it because the SPED coordinator isn't here. But the mother is upset that she isn't receiving the care she needs basically.

    Then comes the kicker, she basically is a bit upset that why I can't do anything. I explained that I'm not a nurse and even if I was, I can't do certain things without doctor's approval. and she just looks at me in anger and says to the principal, "Why don't you have a nurse here?" We explained we are a Public Charter School, we don't need a nurse for medical needs, we just need a MA under a NP supervision.

    Then she started to say that her daughter feels disrespected because I apparently am in a "Bad mood" and she doesn't feel that I'm treating her nicely (Mind you student has autism). I didn't think I was in a mean mood, I'm always nice and smiling with her and I ask her if she's okay. She said it was because I told her to go back to class and she was in pain. I explained is because she has missed classes and I know her mother doesn't want her to miss anymore. I tell her to go to class and I call her mother to bring her medication because I have no medication paperwork here or medications.

    At end of the meeting, we sort of mediated the situation. We were going to talk to her PE teacher and make sure she's actually being cared for. We also expressed we will let her lay down in my office and such, and that mother needs to bring paperwork for her medication and other issues so we have it on file. I did express my apologizes.

    My bosses said I was okay and I shouldn't worry about it, just be careful with her because of her disabilities, it may be that it's a misunderstanding and that she probably misses some social cues.

    But I'm worried because She found out I'm not a nurse and may retaliate. Or I'm just having my worry-wart moments and it's fine.

    As I said, I'm not sure how to feel about this meeting and if things were okay. I'm doing what I can for this student, I made special passes for her, I emailed all of our school about her so they know and won't stop her when she needs things.

    Thank you for hearing my rant.
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    About Amethya

    Joined: Aug '16; Posts: 1,503; Likes: 1,869

    55 Comments

  3. by   MrNurse(x2)
    Snowflakes raising snowflakes. Without doctor's orders, nothing can happen, no matter what mom thinks. Let it go, this mom probably feels entitled for some reason. Has the doctor confirmed the tumor? She may be trying to get attention for her daughter.
  4. by   OldDude
    So is the child already have a 504 or in Special Ed?
  5. by   Amethya
    Quote from MrNurse(x2)
    Snowflakes raising snowflakes. Without doctor's orders, nothing can happen, no matter what mom thinks. Let it go, this mom probably feels entitled for some reason. Has the doctor confirmed the tumor? She may be trying to get attention for her daughter.
    Doctor has not confirmed tumor but mother insists. No paperwork of this.
  6. by   Amethya
    Quote from OldDude
    So is the child already have a 504 or in Special Ed?
    I believe so but I don't see anything of a 504.
  7. by   GdBSN
    Without doctor's diagnoses or orders a condition does not exist. Parents will do and say anything to get special attention/privileges for their SF.
    You did the right thing and have nothing to apologize for.
  8. by   Cattz
    Amethya- You amaze me with your thoroughness. Sounds like you are doing a great job. I wouldn't do anything different than you are doing. Deep breath and move on until you have something in writing that tells you more than you have now.
  9. by   Amethya
    Quote from Cattz
    Amethya- You amaze me with your thoroughness. Sounds like you are doing a great job. I wouldn't do anything different than you are doing. Deep breath and move on until you have something in writing that tells you more than you have now.
    Thank you~! In all honesty, I spoke with my AP. I am so happy she's in my team and is actually listening to me. This meeting could of been very bad if it was my last AP. She agrees with so many things about the meeting. She just basically said I just need to CYA and document everything. Because she said that she felt in that meeting, the mom was just trying to grasp into straws about things and even said that she didn't want to go to court to get the needs her daughter needs. But it's like, WHAT THINGS?!?!
  10. by   lifelearningrn
    Texas does not require nurses on any public school campus, and many don't even have a MA. You did everything you can do. I'm not sure what mom expects from you when she has provided NO documentation, and no orders for administration of medication or plan for managing pain. As far as retaliation for you not being a nurse, she has none. You've never identified yourself as a nurse and you and the administration are open that you're a MA. Relax, you're doing great.
  11. by   Amethya
    Quote from lifelearningrn
    Texas does not require nurses on any public school campus, and many don't even have a MA. You did everything you can do. I'm not sure what mom expects from you when she has provided NO documentation, and no orders for administration of medication or plan for managing pain. As far as retaliation for you not being a nurse, she has none. You've never identified yourself as a nurse and you and the administration are open that you're a MA. Relax, you're doing great.
    Thanks and I agree.

    I swear these parents sometimes...
  12. by   Amethya
    I had a weird thought on my way home... what if this is a case of Munchausen by Proxy? There is some concerning things why I think this but mostly is her changing doctor to doctor for same issues, seemingly in Chemo but no change in health.
  13. by   babyNP.
    What does being a charter school have to do with not needing a nurse? Aren't all kids created equal? Sounds bizarre even though I guess that fits in with the concept of charter schools in the first place (some kids being more equal than others)...

    edit: I will leave the above for reference, but I think I realize now what you were getting at is that charter schools legally aren't required to have a nurse which I misinterpreted. I also realize that my next words may be seen as a little bit spicy and I don't think you need that right now, so I apologize. I have a parent that is a teacher and heard her talk all last week about the district's troubles with charter schools.
    Last edit by babyNP. on Sep 24
  14. by   KatiejonD
    I have to be honest - I sure hope you document like a Nurse. You are very smart to have some concerns, although it certainly sounds like you have done NOTHING wrong.

    Question: does your charter school have any paperwork that the parents/guardians return to the health office each fall where they sign permission for the school Nurse (or in this case, MA) to be in contact with the child's PCP? We did - and I was able to simply bypass the small percentage of parents that seemed to either by lying, or simply confused.

    Option: I'm in NH, so ALL adults (period) are "mandatory reporters". Ask yourself if there is anything that this parent is saying that sounds like she is not meeting the needs of her child. I can't answer that, because I think your perspective of the scenario plays a big role in this. But if mom is reporting all of these medical issues and concerns, and you have zero documentation from a doctor, and this child cannot advocate for themselves... I wouldn't hesitate to call the state and simply report a concern, and let them investigate.

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