Scared to move for job..anyone done it?

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal Step-Down.

Hello all!

After a LONG (8 month) search for a job, I finally have an offer.

To make a long story short:

June 4th, my condo burns down, I lost everything.

Insurance issues arise with the condo association, my choice:fight them in court or declare bankruptcy. I could not afford to fight them and was forced into chapter 7.

Turning lemons into lemonade, I thought to myself, well..atleast now I dont have ties to this horrible economy in Michigan..and I could relocate to get my dream job as a new grad, in NICU. (even if i decide to get the 1-2 years exp and come back)

Now with the offer in my hands..im terrifed. My boyfriend is NOT HAPPY with moving, but wants to be with me His misery makes it a lot harder. My parents are pretty supportive, but I am an only child and i will miss them alot. I will be leaving everything to start a new career in a new place, and on nights which i have never done.I have never really been this much "on my own". I want to take the opportunity but im scared right now...

any words of encouragement, has anyone done it? Thanks all, in advance. :heartbeat

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I've done it several times -- as a totally single person with no boyfriend going with me. It is difficult -- and you have to have the strength to stick it out when you are lonely, have no one to share holidays with, weekends with, etc. It takes a while and some considerable effort to make friends in a new place.

I won't say it is easy -- but I will say that it is do-able. You just have to be strong and stick with your committment to stay there and be independent for the first several months (maybe even the entire first year). If you are the type of person who is going to "run home to mommy" when things go wrong, then it is probably not a smart course of action for you. But it worked out well for me as I am happy being alone a lot of the time and able to stand on my own two feet. I had gone to college far away from home and was used to solving my own problems. So, I didn't need my family to be physically close - and I knew I would make new friends in time.

The good news is that today, you have the internet to help keep in closer touch with friends and family elsewhere. On the other hand, if your boyfriend is going to be miserable and whining to go home all of the time, that could ruin it - and your relationship if he blames you for hiis unhappiness.

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Specializes in being a Credible Source.

I've done it, too.

Moving away from the family can be hard... but doesn't have to be permanent. I ultimately ended up back very near where I started.

Regarding the boyfriend... well, he's your boyfriend, not your fiancee or your husband - 'nuf said on that IMO.

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal Step-Down.

Thank you for the encouragement in the relpies thus far! I really need it.

I mean, I knew when i was interviewing there was a chance they would like me lol but now that its real...I was getting that "sinking" in my stomach and went into panic mode, now that I've calmed down a bit, I feel better....but im still pretty scared. I love my friends and my family.

As far as my boyfriend, I'm hoping that once we've settled in, having him there will really help me adjust and we can support each other. When we got together I dont think either of us expected to ever move out of state, but we were kids and I will have the better job out of the 2 of us. We have been together 8 years now....

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One word of caution he may resent you for having the better job. I know my husband does. We've been together for 10 years and it hasn't gotten easier. Just make sure that you can stand on your own 2 feet incase your boyfriend decides to split.

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Specializes in being a Credible Source.

Presuming that you do go, here's a bit of advice:

Try really, really hard to form some friendships OUTSIDE of work. It's very easy when you're in a new place to have your whole social structure develop from your job. While there's nothing wrong with having friends that you work with, it's a healthier situation (at least it was for me) when your social life and your professional life are not intertwined and interdependent.

Just my 45-year-old opinion....

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Specializes in acute rehab, med surg, LTC, peds, home c.

If you dont do it you will always wonder. If you do it and hate it, you can always move back after a year of experience. I have to say I am a little bit jealous, I have always wanted to do travel nursing but I have too many committments here with kids in school, etc. good luck.

Where are you going anyway?

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal Step-Down.
One word of caution he may resent you for having the better job. I know my husband does. We've been together for 10 years and it hasn't gotten easier. Just make sure that you can stand on your own 2 feet incase your boyfriend decides to split.

I'm sorry to hear about the resentment :( I do know my boyfriend feels bad about it too. Luckily with Nursing, I know I could support myself on my own. I will be over doubling my previous income that I was living on before, I just have to be careful to live to same way even with more money lol :D

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal Step-Down.
If you dont do it you will always wonder. If you do it and hate it, you can always move back after a year of experience. I have to say I am a little bit jealous, I have always wanted to do travel nursing but I have too many committments here with kids in school, etc. good luck.

Where are you going anyway?

Going to either Wisconsin or West Virginia, I actually have 2 offers pending after an 8 month drought with no job offers!! I think i just got a lot better at interviewing! lol

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

i've moved for a job -- several times. and i've moved for a spouse -- several times. i've moved away from home, i've moved back home and then i've moved again. it's scary, but it's exciting as well. it's fun to try new restaurants, visit new parks/beaches/zoos/museums/shopping malls and whatever else tickles your fancy.

i'll second the opinion about making friends outside of work. work friends are great -- you need those, but it's your outside of work friends that will make the difference between a healthy move and a miserable experience. please don't rely totally on your boyfriend to meet all of your needs. he can't, and you'll resent him as he'll resent you. encourage him to get out there and make new friends as well.

good luck! where in wisconsin are you looking? i'm from there.

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Specializes in NICU/Neonatal Step-Down.
i've moved for a job -- several times. and i've moved for a spouse -- several times. i've moved away from home, i've moved back home and then i've moved again. it's scary, but it's exciting as well. it's fun to try new restaurants, visit new parks/beaches/zoos/museums/shopping malls and whatever else tickles your fancy.

i'll second the opinion about making friends outside of work. work friends are great -- you need those, but it's your outside of work friends that will make the difference between a healthy move and a miserable experience. please don't rely totally on your boyfriend to meet all of your needs. he can't, and you'll resent him as he'll resent you. encourage him to get out there and make new friends as well.

good luck! where in wisconsin are you looking? i'm from there.

thank you so much for the advice! i will most definately put myself out there to make friends outside of the hospital, i just need to find a hangout or something! :smokin: i'd be moving to the wausau area! :)

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Specializes in ICU.

You can use this as a life learning experience. It will definately test you in alot of new ways. Your going to be lonely, its a new place, but you need to make sure you are optimistic about it. Im a travel nurse, and so far have only traveled to LA and ive been here 9 months, but at first I hated it. I left my family and came by myself. At first I hated it because it was so different than what i was used to, but after a few months I really started to like it. You just need to make sure you get out and do stuff and keep busy, and not be afraid to do things on your own. Now I really like being on my own, theres so much to see and do. Im looking to go somewhere else to try it out, but its an experience you need to embrace. You may hate it but you may love it too.

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