RN to BSN doesn't feel right.

Published

So, tonight I started my RN to BSN classess and left feeling even more confused and lost than before. I have a husband and two young children who dealt with my going to nursing school. My kids and husband missed me while I went to class/studied/clinicals, etc. I promised them it would only be so long before "mommy could focus on them." Then I started my job at a top university hospital as a new grad. The first 6 months of that transition was probably 10 times worse than nursing school in so many ways. I didn't have to study but on my days off I was tired, depressed, unable to be "present" with my family. And then things seemed to get better...

Tonight sitting in the class that felt so much like a "formality" all I could think about is the confused look on my daughters face as I left for school. And how my husband had the dish towel on his shoulder and was picking up my slack once again.

I feel like I do a damn good job as a nurse considering the amount of experience I have. And I feel so pressured into the BSN thing. I can't shake the feeling that I am sacrificing my childrens' childhood for a formality!

Any insight? I'm looking for guidance from my fellow nurses. Thanks!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

Doesn't sound like the best time to start it right now. If your job isn't mandating it by a certain time, why not give yourself some time off and enjoy your family? There is plenty of time to finish the BSN; you are already an RN.

The kids will only be little for a short time, now is the time for them. My son turned 20 today, I only have one teen left at home... and finished my master's last year. Nothing says there is a time or age limit on going back to school!

Your mental health is more important than the degree, and your family (at least mine is) the most important thing in life.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Follow your gut instincts. I am 1 year into my pre-requisites for the RN program for my school and I have two little girls. It is the hardest thing for me to leave my little girls and go to classes as soon as my husband gets home. I feel like he picks up where I left off, and we say "Hi and Bye." It is worth it for my dream to become a nurse, but it if I had to continue to go further over a formality, I would have to say no thanks. I already feel bad enough for what my husband goes through while I am in school, and while I study (as you know, it is hard to study with two small children in the house!) If you can find a good routine that works good for your family, go as far as you can! But it if it feels wrong, maybe just take a break until your children are older. Good luck, and best wishes to you and your family.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Have you considered taking the BSN program online via Phoenix or something. At least you will do this at the comfort of your home with your family around.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

As much as I believe in the importance of the BSN, I think it's a bad time for you to go back to school. If the timing isn't right, you are going to resent your classes for taking you away from your family and that isn't going to do anything but make school seem like a tremendous burden for you.

I will never forget one graduate student I knew who had a full-time job, a toddler and a nursing infant, a husband who was either too busy or just not willing to pick up the slack---and she was starting grad school. I have been very stressed out at times in my life but I have never seen a human being look as stressed as she did. I don't know why she was in school----if she felt pressured by co-workers or management or by her family, friends, or herself. But she was miserable.

If your manager says you "have to" go back to school right now, consider taking only one class a time. Otherwise, it's okay to stop now and not go back until your children are older. Your family has made many sacrifices for you to go to school---and so have you. You have a job and, although some places are not hiring ADN or diploma grads as much, if you would end up changing jobs before you get your degree, you will have some solid experience under your belt. (Who knows? When the time is right you might decide on an RN to MSN route.) Eventually, online might give you flexibility that traditional classes don't but do be aware that some online courses are rigorous so if you don't have a lot of time to study and live at the computer, a heavy online schedule will leave you feeling resentful, just as going to classes are making you unhappy right now.

It's okay to put your family first. You did a great job balancing school and family but now maybe it's time for you to be a wife and mommy, work as a nurse, and not worry about school.

I wish you the best as you make a decision. :hug:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

Rn to BSn can be done online; and/or part time.

There is no RUSH for it. You should do it--it's the path to all nursing careers..but don't sacrifice your family for it.

That's going to get you in the end. Balance is the key to everything.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in SNF, Oncology.

It sounds like you need a break! You are a RN now and you can take your time for your BSN. I graduated with my ADN last May and have been taking 1-2 classes per semester toward my BSN online. Don't feel like you need to rush to get it done. Enjoy your family.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I know what you're saying completely..I am a single mom. My son is 4. I am so relieved to be done with my Associate's and yet, here I am having to go back to school because they are really pushing everyone to have their BSN. Have you considered online classes? This has really helped me. I am able to finish the work on my own time(after my son is asleep or while he naps,etc). They have so many programs available that are 100% online. Just a thought:-)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER/Trauma.

I hear your frustration. We are a Magnet hospital, so they really push to go back to school for the BSN here. I did it, but only by going to another college that offered a 95% online program. I found I could work it more into our lives without compromising my ability to be mom, wife, and work as well. The hospital did offer a program, but it was like yours, classes in the evenings, at least once a week. I just could not bear the thought of sitting in a classroom and taking valuable family time away anymore, so I looked around and found another school.

I agree with the other posters, now is not the time for you, nor does this sound like the right program for you. Look around, there are many ways to accomplish the same end. Find one that fits your life on your terms. Its out there.

Best to you!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I feel this way in my RN to BSN classes as well, for the most part. Occasionally a class or a section of the class is meaningful and I learn something; most of the time it appears to be an expensive hoop through which I must jump.

Check out online, part time programs. Fort Hays State University is where I go...you can take YEARS to finish. On their website, they say you can take one class a semester (classes are typically 1-3 credit hours per class), and if you need a semester or two off, you just simply need to contact them. I am only taking 2-3 credit hours every semester at this point, with my summers off. I do have one small clinical requirement at the end of the program, but otherwise everything is online. The tuition is much more reasonable than University of Phoenix. There are other programs available as well, Indiana State is one, with reasonable tuition and completely online. Check the forums under the "students" tab for more info.

This sounds like it would fit better with your lifestyle than a classroom based, more structured program.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

There are online accredited RN to BSN and RN to MSN options that may be more fitting for your life. I did the BSN to MSN at an all online accredited college (CCNE). Sitting in a classroom and working full time and family is not what I wanted to do. Non-traditional, online education was the way to go for me.

otessa

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.

Why do you feel pressured to get a BSN? Last I heard, ASNs took the same NCLEX and have the same responsibilities as a BSN. Sure, not having the BSN will probably limit you from supervisory positions but is that your goal? No? Do you just want to be a nurse, do you job and go home? That's what I want to do. I never had any desire to manage people. I have an ASN and a BS in another field. In the last 34 years it has not hindered me from doing what I wanted to do.

Your kids are only young once. If this is distressing you so much, maybe you need to rethink it? Nursing school will always be there. If you decide to go back once your kids are in school you can go for it then. Personally, I never saw the need. :nurse:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion