Returning to the ICU. Tips for success in new job, even when its hard?

[BeatsPerMinute, BSN, RN]

Hey all. I hit a bit of a rough patch this last year. Somethings are COVID related and others are personal... Either way, I want (and NEED) to be successful in my new job.. and I could use some advice. 

Challenges: Was fired 3 times in the last year (once due to being unable to complete orientation in a completely different specialty; once due to injury whilst on probation/orientation; once due to a new director on eggshells who started off  pointing fingers and bullying or taking advantage of staff... lotsa people left that one or were let go). I do not have family near nor any sort of safety net. I had to get far away from family (drug/alcoholic addicts, physical abuse, psych abuse/manipulation/cursing..) just couldnt do it anymore, and so I am kinda on my own. It was actually a family member who was not in their right mind that caused the injury that caused me to lose my job ... ended up earning myself PT and an Ortho Surgeon as well. Not cheap. COVID added barriers to support networks and help. 

Professional Background: I have worked in home care, ICU @ a large lvl 1 trauma hospital, pre / post / intra - op for Cath, IR & EP, and did some PACU (mostly hospital environments but a little outpatient as well). My favorite was and still is ICU. 

Current situation: My confidence has really hit rock bottom. I'm financially strained. I haven't seen my family in over a year now and even tho they're toxic in general I miss my younger siblings... As soon as I start this new job and can get benefits going, I will be seeking a counselor. This last year has been brutal on my mental state. I used to go out regularly, see friends, go to the gym, run, bike, travel, paint,... Def am not feeling myself. I was most enthusiastic and excited about ICU nursing, so am actually really looking forward to returning to that environment.. 

Has anyone hit low moments like this before? How did you get through it? Even when really feeling down, how do you muster the will and energy to get through work, especially if you're about to start a new job? What tools / habits / practices do you use to get outta stinky mindsets? 

Not sure that I am looking for anything specifically... I do feel like it couldnt hurt to reach out to fellow nurses and get some thoughts, ideas, advice, on what I just shared. It helps.

Thank you 

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