Help with cover letter for first research job!

[andie162, BSN]

I am applying for a job as a research coordinator with the department of anesthesiology at the University. I have only been an RN for two years in an ICU. I am very interested in the field of research and would love to get this job. A former coworker is now a research coordinator under this department and the same PI, she suggested it to me, otherwise I may think I wouldn't even have a shot. Please give me an honest critique for my cover letter. It is at the end of the week so I can use as much help as I can get!

Thanks in advance!

-Andrea

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Daenerys Targaryen . I am currently a Registered Nurse in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at XXX Children's Hospital. I believe I am a strong candidate for the Senior Registered Nurse Specialist opening in the Department of Anesthesiology recommended by my former colleague Cersei Lannister, and I would like to be considered for this position.

Dedicating myself to research and coordinating studies would allow me to be both at the cutting edge and at the very foundation of health care, making a positive impact on a more expansive scope of patients. I am thrilled at the opportunity to apply my skills and passion to expand my horizons in this exciting field and become an essential team member.

I have been working as an ICU nurse for over two years. While I continue to learn each day, I have gained many important skills that transfer directly to the nurse specialist position. I have spent many shifts titrating continuous drips based off of small fluctuations in a patient's vital signs, performing neurological checks every hour on a traumatic brain injury patient, looking for the smallest signs of improvement or deterioration, among many other careful observations and interventions. My attention to detail will be essential for accurate data collection and precisely following protocols.

I offer excellent communication and interpersonal skills necessary to effectively communicate with other team members as well as outside entities, such as the Institutional Review Board. Even in the high stress, high emotion environment of the PICU, I develop a good rapport with all of my patients and their families. I am certain that from recruitment and consenting patients, to follow up and management, they will feel confident and comfortable that they are in good hands. I was recently commended by the nurse manager of the Neonatal ICU for enduring an intensive and lengthy interview by a JCAHO surveyor while one day floating to that unit. She thanked me for my elegance and professionalism” after answering all questions thoroughly and without hesitation.

I am a great team member but also good at working autonomously and am very self motivated. This position will provide numerous challenges and I'm excited at the prospect of taking them head and exceeding expectations.

I look forward to hearing from you. I would love to meet for an interview at your earliest convenience.

[guest83140]

Too lengthy imo. I think you need to just list the skills that qualify you for the job.

[pcaldea]

Agree, too lengthy. Also using 'cutting edge' is too cheesy. Try to be succinct and to the point.