really struggling with my decision...chewed out by another rn!

jessiern, BSN, RN · Sep 24, 2009

The other nurse was out of line, in my opinion. "Chewing out" is not another staff nurses responsiblity. If she had concerns about your care, speaking to you in private in a profession manner without insults would have been more constructive. After all, us younger nurses learn from those with more experience if we are smart.

I would like your manager know about the situation, let her know it made you uncomfortable. Ask is she sees any problems with the care you gave, so you can get honest feed back. Most importantly, since you two will be working together, just try to put it behind you. If another situation arises, stop her before it escaluates. Tell her if she has a problem with your care, to speak with your manager if she can't discuss adult to adult.

springfieldrn · Sep 24, 2009

Nurses yelling at eachother and demaning eachother is nothing new! Not that it's ok by any means. Whether you put her on tele and gave O2 is not the point in my opinion. If you are being treated in that manner again I encourage you to put a stop to it at the time by saying something like " if you can't gear down and talk to me civilally don't talk to me at all and we can take it up with the manager". If you have to physically walk away do it. Involve the charge nurse. The days of nurses bullying eachother needs to end. In years past we have had the reputation of eating our young. Don't let someone else's bad behaivor determine your future.

SunnyAndrsn · Sep 24, 2009

The nurse was out of line, that was very rude and unprofessional of her.

Sorry you're having a tough time. Bedside nursing is hard :-(

Ok i graduated three years ago. But was working for an md who helped pay for my ed and was extremely comfy with. i worked for her over 10years. But i woke up one day and decide to try bedside nursing since that is what i went to school for and always wanted to do....or so i thought! I am on a tele unit and have had a ruff time now that i am on my own. I Guess this would be my third week on my own after 12 weeks of orientation.
Well 2 nights ago i got a patient from the er adm dx dehydration. no Cardaic issue what so ever, and questioned when i was getting report ...like no cardiac enzymes? nothing on a ekg...why are they coming here? so i went to my charge and told her i wasnt sure if i should take this patient and we talked and she said might be because she just needs a private room since she will need a private room for contact for mrsa in norifice. All i saw was a order that said admit to med surg/ or possible step down. no telemetry order what so ever. I asked again and my charge looked at the order also. So i think at this point the idea is to get her in the room and keep her till am so she can be transferred when med/ surg opens up .so i get the patient s took v/s and her bp was 87/47 .....so i go to her chart and see who the adm dr was? call and let her know and we bolus her. Other wise her vitals were good , sat at 98% on room air and a&O x3 but forgetful and sleepy ..but it is 2am!
Anyway i give report to the day nurse, and leave. When i came back that night i was chewed out from another nurse who was saying how could i not put her on tele? or o2? this is a critical care floor? use common sense! ...i started to tear up and think omg what did i do i am soo stupid....... and she went on and on ..you did go to nursing schoool? use your judgement, call the dr and ask for these orders! OMG so at 2am that night ....i look up and i am so angry how could you talk to me like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did what i thought i could for this patient, i didnt just throw her in the room and forget her, i called and spoke to the dr myself about her b/p and obv this dr was not concerned about tele or she would have sent her strait to my floor and not wrote an order for MED SURG!!!! I also checked with my charge that night, now i didnt say i am not going to put a monitor on her specifically and maybe i should have. BUt i just soooooooooooooooooo frustrated!
I AM NOT sure i can continue this way, i am doing my best everyday. I am exhausted from working nights and i am started to regret my decision on becoming a nurse. This is the second time i have have run into trouble asking questions and getting answer that I still end up in trouble for!
Now if i had been a nurse for a while and had some confidence and new what my scope is i would have done something more, but i am scared and nervous and depend on other more experience nurses to guide me. And if there are not...then how do i win this battle. And how to deal with insults like that from other nurses. I am extremely smart, well educated and over 30! I can not stand for being spoke to like a 5yr old. I can not work like this. What can i do? Do I hunt down this nurse and have a talk with her and how wrong it was to throw insults? Please help, am I just not cut out to be a nurse? Am i missing something here?

whodunit · Sep 24, 2009

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad ; sounds like you did everything you could have and like you say the dr wasn't concerned.Don't let this nurse get to you,if there was a problem with your work I 'm sure your nurse mgnr would have called you in.Was there a change in the pt's condition for the worse?If, not just try to remember that some nurses will always try to make a newer nurse feel bad.Walk away from her, try to stay away and if there are more problems, take her in front of the nurse manager.Another suggestion is something I used a long long time ago as a new nurse; I had a really hateful nit picking co-worker who set out to make my life miserable so I just asked the nurse manager to work me with someone else until I got my feet under me.I never talked bad about the nurse or complained about her treatment but that got the point across.As a previous nsg manager, I can assure you if she is the kind of nurse she sounds like; your manager already knows and will help you.Good luck and hang in there !

tillie1 · Sep 24, 2009

Situations like this make me crazy! No professional should be allowed to speak to another professional in that manner. I concur with the advice you have received so far: make sure your manager knows about this incident, make sure the charge nurse you spoke with knows and make sure this co-worker understands this is not to happen again! One caution, do not meet with this person to "clear the air" by yourself. YOu would be setting yourself up for a she-said, she-said situation. Ask a charge nurse or your manager to sit in on any meetings. Please don't let this person muddy your career! Good luck, keep your head up and be proud of your accomplishments.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Sep 24, 2009

You are not missing anything. That's a bunch of crap. Don't let that other nurse get you down. Unless you saw any reason for that patient to be on tele, like irregular heart sounds or electrolyte imbalance, you did nothing wrong. Tele units are often the overflow units for non tele patients, and it costs the patient money to be on tele, so you don't just slap on tele because you feel like it. You do not need to put them on tele simply because they are on a tele unit. Period. It sounds to me like you handled it just fine, and that other nurse has a stick up her behind.

If ever in doubt, run it by your charge nurse, and if the oncoming nurse gives you grief, tell them to take it up with your charge. Believe me, they won't. They won't have the gonads to, because they only pick on those they think they can get away with picking on.

You may also find, if you discuss this with your CN, to just consider the source and don't let them talk to you like that again. Some nurses have a reputation for acting this way. I had a nurse or two, when I was first starting out, that would pick me apart in report. Once I started standing up for myself and doing so with a sense of humor, not only did it stop, but they started treating me with respect. Some nurses can sense your lack of confidence like a dog smells fear, and will act like jerks because they can. Grow a pair and tell them where to stuff it; tactfully and with humor, that is.

You have a brain in your head, and you are capable of critical thinking. If you have a defensible rationale for what you do, then no other nurse can give you grief. I think your biggest issue is confidence, but that will come in time. It is totally normal to feel like The Worst Nurse in the History of the Universe when you are first starting out; see my post in the Emergency Nursing forum. Some day, you will rock, and you will feel like the accomplished, competent nurse that you want to be.

Sirapples · Sep 24, 2009

You did nothing wrong. I would of done the exact same thing as you. You confirmed that it wasnt a tele patient, the patient had no tele orders. You also assessed your patient and found the bp low and treated it. You did everything right in this case.

This is what is known as lateral violence aka "nurses eating thier young". Sometimes nurses just enjoy finding reasons to tear into other people. I am 100% sure that if you had of placed this patient on telemetry without tele orders, she would of torn into you about that as well.

If this happens again I would ask her if she would wish to discuss this with the supervisor. I am 100% serious about this. It is not her place to berate you (spelling), and she could get into some serious trouble if she continues this type of attitude.

I wish I worked with you, you sound like a great nurse. Dont let some angry fool burn you out.

al7139, ASN, RN · Sep 24, 2009

Hi,

Don't let this nurse get to you. Yes you work on a tele unit (so do I), but we get all different kinds of patients, and not all of them require tele or enzymes. Virgo is right, some nurses see weakness or insecurity and take advantage of it. I think it is because they are feelibg te same way, and need to put someone else down to feel like they are a good nurse. Standing up to them and being diplomatic about it makes all the difference. we have a nurse who I dreaded giving report to because of her rep. At first I let it get to me, but after a while, I figured out that if I stood up for myself, she backed off. Now we get along fine, and even though she still tries, I give it right back, and don't let her get under my skin.

You are doing fine, or you would hear about it from your manager.

Amy

SupeR.N.urse · Sep 24, 2009

I know the feeling. I had a tough time at my job when I started out. Doesn't sound like you were wrong. Don't let no one put you down. You have worked so hard for this. You act safely and do no harm. The next nurses attitude is her problem. My advice is put it behind you. Forgive her in your heart. But cut homegirl off in her tracks with rationales if she tries down talking you again.

ReemBZN · Sep 24, 2009

First of all, like everybody says DON'T FEEL BAD PLEASE !!

Don't let this incident eat you up inside or let that nurse make you feel that you are not a competent nurse. I can see how insulting it would be if another nurse was questioning my " nursing judgment ". I know how you feel cuz I have to deal with somebody like that almost everyday. Totally unreasonable nit picking.

These are the things that i do for the sake of my sanity..

1, Usually i will pretend that i'm having difficulty hearing things when she is about to start to say something unreasonable again. simply no verbal response. Hmm.. i think i hear dog barking somewhere.. do you hear that too? kind of attitude.

2, Sarcastic attitude , for example, " OMG!!!!HOW ON EARTH DID I FORGET TO GIVE O2 WHEN O2 SAT WAS 98% RA OMG!!! IS SHE STILL ALIVE??!? " - requires some level of acting skill but practice makes it perfect right?

Remember do not allow her to take your self-confidence away from you and stick with what you believe is right and do your best.

shugrr22107NA · Sep 24, 2009

Thanks for your OP and to all who have responded...I am in a similar situation with an RN who finds fault in everything my shift does but finds it necc. to approach ME instead of speaking up @ approprite time/place like a team meeting.

Everything you all have said has helped me today.

Keep your chin up OP, you ARE a great nurse, I wish you worked with me!

:)