Quitting a job that a long time nurse friend basically got me

[BettyBoopsRN]

I've been a nurse for over a decade and I knew the day I came off my orientation as a brand new grad that I made s mistake. I didn't want to be a nurse, but kind of fell into it as a result of having been an EMT (also not my thing)...long story how I got into that but basically because my then boy friend was into medical stuff...not me.

Anyway I have tried nearly every area of nursing to find my nitch. Hospital, LTC, home care, rehab, hospice, and some home care case management stuff. Nope nope nope. While I do love my time with patients, I detest all the medical stuff, medication administration and basically the foundation of nursing.

My work history has been spotty as I've left jobs 4 times to have babies. But I could have stayed, or gone back to those places after maternity leave but I hated my jobs. Ever nursing job I've had I've been miserable at. And I don't last long. Im surprised anyone would hire me at this point, but I think the 4 kids makes it look more like maternity leashes.

I keep thinking if I find the right job I'll like it. Most recently I was looking to go back to something less bedside-ish, but my friend I worked with years ago, (whose asked me many times to come work at her facility, sub acute rehab) offered again to come work there. It is know to be one of the best in our state. Staffing is pretty darn good, nothing shady going on there.

So I ended up sending my resume to the DON and was hired per diem (that's what I wanted).

They put in all the time to orient me including corporate Orientation. It's s big company here, and not the one you want to burn bridges to.

But again, I fell the dread and depression setting in. I cry after work, I try not to cry at work. I hate it like I always do. The depression of having to go to work will upset me for days before, I get physical anxiety and to be honest I've started drinking more (on days off) to cope. I hate nursing that much. Imfine when I am not working as a nurse. I even did ok as an emt, and was fine in jobs before this.

And finally something clicked, I am not happy as a nurse. I could work in the best job ever, it doesn't matter. I hate the medical aspect of nursing. Apparently I'm good at it, and my pts give me positive feedback. I like interacting with pts, I just hate the medial stuff and running for 13 hours with no break.

The place I am at now, while nice for a full timer, is still hell for per diems, with a brand new batch of pts each time, I am constantly drowning. Ok so not the ideal job for someone that doesn't want to be a nurse but I think my feelings make it way worse than it needs to be.

Anyway discussed this with my husband and he agrees I need to change careers. I am in a place to do that and have decided I need to leave nursing.

But the job...that my friend recommended me for...I feel awful just leaving. I've only been off orientation a month an a half. Do to being per diem and not having a lot of available days to orient, and all the hoops they make new employees jump through, they spent 3 months getting me "ready"...it was mostly red tape and paper work. I'm per diem because I work my days around my husband schedule so I'm home with the kids when he works.

I feel like an a$$ quitting. But I'm dreading ever going back. I have 3 more shifts scheduled and they want my days for the next month. I don't know what to do. I don't want my friend to be mad at me. Not to meantion it's another nursing job I just quit only a few months in.

[Marisette, BSN, RN]

It sounds like sooner or later you will resign from this job, so why not now ? After you resign, call your friend, thank her for the recomendation and let her know how you feel about your nursing career. If she is truly a friend, she will understand.

Many of the nursing jobs involve long days, and non stop activity. Even case management! Some people thrive under stessful environments, some survive, and some don't do well. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You may be happier and more productive in a different atmosphere. If you have a supportive husband, and the means to pursue a career alternative to nursing move forward and make that change. Don't waste time on regrets, move forward and good luck.

[Sour Lemon]

You're practically a professional job-quitter at this point. There's no need to make it more complicated than it is. Just quit.

[AnnieNP, MSN, NP]

What do you want to do with your career? Do you have any ideas about what you may want to do in the future? I would give a reasonable notice and move on (blame it on family commitments).

[BlinkyPinky]

I'm pretty sure I just saw a humble- brag in action. Never fully understood that term until now

And " finally it just clicked"? It took That long ?

I agree with Sour Lemon, 100%

[BettyBoopsRN]

Thank you for the helpful comments.

Wow to the nasty useless comments from those obviously jealous I have the support and financial mean to leave nursing and never look back.

I do know what I want to do, I've known for years, (don't feel like sharing to a forum with people waiting to knock me down) but I felt determined to make nursing work because it was the education I have and I felt I should stay dedicated to it.

Its interesting that there are people on this site so miserable and jaded that they take time out of their life to comment on a thread just to be nasty. How pathetic and miserable does your existence have to be to do that? You've got to be at a very low point in life. Anyway, don't ever want to be that person someday.

So I'm off from to pursue better things.

God bless all those that are made better by being nurses. You are truly amazing people. And my prayers go out to people that have so little joy in their lives that they must be rude to total strangers to make themselves feel good. I hope you can find something more fulfilling someday!

As for me I'll figure it out.

[Libby1987]

I read your post as a pretty transparent admission to letting your friend down with self awareness that you have a pattern of inability to sustain any longevity. And I think you're needing to both put it out there that you feel bad about it but someone saying they're get it would help the guilt a little. That's pretty natural, I've certainly done the same with my friends where I feel like awful but I don't want to be awful. I can identify with that.

I can also identify with those left behind whose worklife is going to remain difficult when someone quits, particularly with short notice. I can't speak for anyone else but I think that's where the comments that seem negative come from.

One thing I feel confident about understanding through is that it doesn't come from jealousy. "You're just jealous" type reaction don't show an awareness of the impact that actions and words have on others.

[MrNurse(x2), ADN]

Just resign. It seems your life has been defined by making others happy, boyfriend, coworkers, etc. Turn from that and start anew.

[gcupid]

Just resign. It seems your life has been defined by making others happy, boyfriend, coworkers, etc. Turn from that and start anew.

I agree and hopefully i dont come as being too rude or mean but I also sense a lack of taking responsibility for her circumstances. Im glad you are taking back your power and doing what YOU want to do..

[kaylee.]

I see where the op is coming from. Sometimes we commit to something for so long and so hard that it takes a long time to even gain insight that we CAN move on.

In terms of her not sticking it out and leaving after orientation, to those who reacted to this aspect: when you know something is wrong, and it's a life altering but eventual conclusion, then you need to make the rest of your life start right away.

So yes, they just spent money training her etc, but that is why she feels guilty about it. She realizes her pattern and feels bad. But that doesn't mean she should waste another year for the sake of commitment to nursing and to the company.

As nurses we sometimes tend to put our own interests on the back burner, and while nursing will carry on, we only have one life and are just one nurse in the bigger picture. We owe it to ourselves to do what is best for us.

I do not see the op as taking the easy way out. It takes courage to venture out and leave the comfort of the familiar behind, and I commend the her for making a tough decision.