Question from a student to the seasoned nurses :)

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I will spit my question out first- then you can choose to read my rambling story if you choose :) As a nurse, how to you deal with seeing injustice and mistreatment to children? (particularly where drug addicted/abusive parents are involved)

As someone who is passionate about a future nursing career, I lay in bed every night wondering what will be my first job as a nurse. I am currently doing pre-req's right now. Every day is a step closer!:yeah:

When I think about my 'first job' I feel drawn towards: 1) OB 2) NICU/Ped's 3) Emergency (in that order). Then I hit a mental roadblock. My BIGGEST issue is that I am a "Momma Bear". I have a 2 year old who I adore. We may not have alot of money but she will grow up knowing she is loved and cared for. I love kids, I love babies, I loved pregnancy/breastfeeding, I love making people feel better (kids in particular).

The area that I live has a pretty high level of...."underserved" as well as alot of drug use. This is where the "Mama Bear" comes out in me- and not in a good way. I don't know HOW I could see an innocent child be admitted as a result of their irresponsible parents. Or a drug addicted mother who has spent her enitre pregnancy using meth. Or the parents who are playing on new phones while their children are filthy and playing on the floor of the ED waiting room.

Do you just have to resign yourself to the fact that the world isnt always nice and that some kids come from good homes and some don't? I wanna cry just thinking about it!. It seems the places I want to work the most are where I would be seeing the most of that. How do you deal? Are those bad places for a tender heart like myself?

P.S. As a side note I already work at the local hospital in the Cardio Vascular Lab (scheduling). Just working there I have seen enough to keep me awake at night. What can I say, I have one big tender heart :redpinkhe

Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

I worked as pedi nurse several years and yes, you will encounter people who should never have been parents. No matter what you do, you cannot change them. However, you can provide excellent care to the child. Of course, call the police or social workers or child protective services when needed!

Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.

When I did my pedi clinical rotation, I saw a case of severe child abuse that happened in the hands of the child's foster family, the one that was suppose to keep this child safe from an accused drug addicted mother. IMO, this child would have been safer with the mother or, at least, other relatives. I lost a few nights of sleep over this ordeal thinking about the pain this child had to suffer day in and day with the treatments being received. It was because of this I realized that I could never work with sick children. I'm sure there are happy moments in pedi, but I have never seen any.

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

You can either role up your sleaves and do something to help the children ... or you can fall apart and not help them. It's up to you which type of person you choose to be. A peds nurse roles roles up her sleaves and starts helping.

You won't know for sure which you will be until you give it a try.

You might want to expose yourself to some of those kids by doing a little volunteer work to see how you would respond in a pediatric health care environment. That's not necessary, but it might make you feel better to get some of your questions about yourself answered.

Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

My nickname *among others) was she who is calling a. security, b. 911, c, social work, or d. the cops.I had their direct number.

You may not have to go so far as that, but when the pimp started beating one of his wimmin in the room near to the nurses station, a,b,c,d and every heavy set brave nurse and doc went to the rescue.

When the resident came up for lunch (one of our monthly ones) and told of the baby with the cranial fx and shaken baby, 2 of our team followed him back to the ER and sequestered the parents til abcd got there. In a big hospital things get around fast. And we had our share of 250+lb nurses and docs with good moral codes.

IMHO there is no rehabilitation for a child batterer or a child molester, so get the cops in First and it only takes that one call and they're there in 5.

Peds is a hard place to work when you have such a population. Please move you and your kiddo asap so your neighborhood wont be the source of your patients.

This is why I kinda cringe whenever I hear some earnest student (young or older) say, "I really want to work (peds, NICU, child psych) because I just love children!!!!!" Frankly, it not only takes a lot more than "loving children" to work in these areas, "loving children" can be somewhat of a handicap. You have to be able to maintain some degree of objectivity, and not allow your personal views and emotions to interfere with your doing your job. I've worked in child psych much of my career, and you encounter gut-wrenching, heart-rending situations all the time that will just tear you up if you let them. A certain degree of detachment if necessary and therapeutic (for the kids as well as for you).

Each individual has to figure out for her/himself whether these are situations you can deal with professionally and therapeutically. You will get somewhat of a feel for that in the course of your nursing education.

Welcome to allnurses! :balloons: Best wishes for your studies!

That's the way I feel.

Though I love my kids and have loved children before I had my own, AND have spent 132 days in NICU for my own kids, I'm not sure I could work in peds or NICU or any other department where I'd have to see sick and dying children everyday. I may not ever get to sleep again. :(

This is why I kinda cringe whenever I hear some earnest student (young or older) say, "I really want to work (peds, NICU, child psych) because I just love children!!!!!" Frankly, it not only takes a lot more than "loving children" to work in these areas, "loving children" can be somewhat of a handicap. You have to be able to maintain some degree of objectivity, and not allow your personal views and emotions to interfere with your doing your job. I've worked in child psych much of my career, and you encounter gut-wrenching, heart-rending situations all the time that will just tear you up if you let them. A certain degree of detachment if necessary and therapeutic (for the kids as well as for you).

Each individual has to figure out for her/himself whether these are situations you can deal with professionally and therapeutically. You will get somewhat of a feel for that in the course of your nursing education.

Welcome to allnurses! :balloons: Best wishes for your studies!

I have the exact same problem. I am dreading my peds rotation and DO NOT want to have to see child abuse situations. I am much like you but I WILL fly off the handle at the parents if I see something like that. I can't even watch the news at night because I can't stand hearing the violence that is today's society.

But, as much as I don't want to face these types of things, I have to deal with the fact that they happen. The parents that abuse children usually have been the victims of abuse themselves. If you become a peds nurse, please teach the children that it is not okay to abuse others. Maybe that is one small step to breaking the cycle. Good luck in your studies!

Do you just have to resign yourself to the fact that the world isnt always nice and that some kids come from good homes and some don't? I wanna cry just thinking about it!. It seems the places I want to work the most are where I would be seeing the most of that. How do you deal? Are those bad places for a tender heart like myself?

I don't work pedi but at a previous hospital, we would be taking care of the adult abusers (alleged), handcuffed to the bedrail, with an officer outside the room. Even though we didn't have a very high opinion of our patient, we just had to put aside our emotions and deliver care like anyone else.

It's sad to see the bad things that happen to children, but very rewarding to have some part in the care and the recovery from those events.

Like elkpark says, a certain objectivity is required in peds so that it doesn't drive you crazy and so that the patients get the best care.

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

i'll remember crystal on the day i die. she is burned into my memory. i was a student nurse during my peds rotation when i met the 3 year old and her family. she had oi as did several of her 13 siblings, some of whom had died earlier. the family lived in a tarpaper shack with no electricity, indoor plumbing or running water. the mother was 7 months pregnant the day crystal was admitted. her appendix had ruptured and when her parents finally brought her to the er, her temp was 104.8 and she was near death. prayer hadn't cured her afterall.

the resulting surgery removed her appendix, bladder, left kidney, spleen, gall bladder, ovaries, uterus and enough intestine that she had a colostomy. the or team had placed her on a pillow. that her parents were grieving and distraught did absolutely nothing to diminish my despair, frustration, or

fury. it was all so %^&**(@# unnecessary. if only she had had surgery sooner. the surgeon estimated that her symptoms had begun about 1 month prior to her admission.

she died on her 6th post-op day.

a part of me died that day... and much of my innocence along with that piece of my soul.

kathy

shar pei mom:paw::paw:

Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
You won't know for sure which you will be until you give it a try.

And if after giving it a try you find that you can't handle it, it doesn't mean you are a bad person or will be a bad nurse. Not everyone can do peds. I learned during my own peds rotation that as much as I love children, I can't work in that area: it gets to me too much and I knew that it would influence my performance...and not in a good way.

But you're not even in school yet, so you have plenty of time to figure out if peds is for you. See how your peds clinical rotation goes. Volunteer at a local pediatric unit. Talk to peds nurses both here and in person and get honest feedback about what the job entails. With all respect, being a "mama bear" alone isn't enough qualifications for the job :)

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