Speaking as a family member that's had a young family member with dementia it is the most horrid experience to have to take them to a facility. You may not say you would do it but seeing the way they react - violent, screaming, refusing, tears, acting like a stubborn kid it's horrible! I agree they should have told the family member once they were on the locked floor but it is the hardest thing to do - try to have a little empathy. The night we dropped them off (mind you we had everything ready, comfort items, decorations, etc and we told them once we were there). There was screaming and crying, threats of violence, and it was truly awful.