i'm very sorry for what happened and i am sorry that you are in a bad situation in your career. unfortunately, you were set up for failure basing on patient's history. the urgency of your docs and the staffing issues on the facility. it was just a bad combination altogether.
you did your best with what you know and that's what matters. surely, you did not come in to work that day with the thought you want to inflict harm on your patients. it will be a while before you get over this, but one thing i can promise you is: this will make you a better nurse. this incident will sharpen your intuition. i would be worried if you are not at all bothered by what happened.
there will be people here on this thread that will criticize you for what happened, rather than support you. but do not let that discourage you. do not quit. everyday is a chance for improvement. learn from the experience, read more on trach care and other things you feel that you need to learn more. but do not quit. the world needs more caring nurses like you. skills you can learn, but genuine compassion, you can't. i hope you get over this soon. i'm pulling for you! if you need to talk, feel free to msg me. i'm sending you warm wishes!