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Content by The_Optimist

  1. Dealing with Passive Aggressiveness What is "Passive Aggressiveness"? Technically, "Passive Aggressiveness is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through hostile jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible." (Dictionary) But it has come to be associated with mean behavior or a show of subtle hostility in nursing. Many a person has complained of feeling victimized or perhaps antagonized through the show of passive-aggressive behavior by a colleague or class mate. This behavior is NOT synonymous to nursing alone but can occur in EVERY facet/relationship in life. For this article, we shall relegate it to nursing. People sometimes resort to passive-aggressive behavior as an avoidance measure either not to directly confront the situation or to cause pique to the other party, who THEN, bites the bait, gets mad and is made to look bad. After all, the person with the passive-aggressive behavior NEVER said a word. No, they didn't- they only made you look worse through their manipulative use of their passive-aggressive behavior. A clever but very manipulative behavior! Passive-aggressive behavior is one of the most damaging to any colleague/classmate relations because of its latent nature. You might ask yourself, how you deal with something you can only feel (sometimes) see but cannot express to another. Helpful Tips Dealing With Passive-Aggressive Behavior with Colleague/Classmate Recognize the behavior for what it is. The first step towards finding a solution is recognizing the behavior. Resist engaging the behavior. As much as is humanly possible, do not engage the behavior. State your feelings in a very concise but non-threatening manner and leave it at that. You put the passive-aggressor in a bind because they cannot openly come at you without having to acknowledge their part in the situation at best. At worst, they look at you like you are crazy:yes:. That is okay too, you got your point across. Do not argue. State your case and if the person denies, allow it. You have stated your case. Examine yourself and be sure that YOU are not the passive-aggressor! Thoughts... By The_Optimist P.S: Joe V, do you mind making this an article? Thanks bunches:)
  2. Interviewing can be hard work but so is getting the job that you thought you wanted, only for you to realize that it was not what you wanted ... not at all. So how does one prevent this waste of time, money and energy on both the parts of the interviewer and the interviewee? By bringing you to the interview...be engaged. Here are 10 steps on having an engaging interview 1. What do I hope to accomplish? Knowing the answer to this BEFORE you get to the interview is an eye-opener because it helps you determine beforehand, without any pressures, what you are willing or not willing to accept. 2. How can I sell my work experiences? You are the author of your story, so the write (or speak) your story. It is said that a story is one of the most memorable ways to be remembered, so tell the story of your work experiences and how you came to be in that interview room 3. What do I need to know about this company and position? Before going into the interview, do your research. In this days of everything being on the Internet, that is not a hard thing to do 4. How can I allay the interviewer's fears? No matter how many times an interviewer has done the process, there is still always the lingering fear of hiring a wrong fit. Once you have determined, that is a place for you, don't hesitate to allay the interviewer's fears 5. How can I stand out from other candidates? Going into that interview, you already knew that you would be in the ring with one or more other candidates, so it would make no sense to go into that interview and come out the same. Stand out 6. How do I dress for this interview? These days many people do not put much attention into how they are dressed, but not you. Because you know your worth and are a professional, you will take time to plan ahead and prepare on what outfit to wear. It does not have to be expensive but it does have to be well-pressed and coordinated is a must plus the added confidence boost it gives you. 7. How do I follow up with the interviewer? At the end of the interview, you want to be sure to collect contact information for the interviewer. It serves as one of two things- a way to express your thanks for the interview and networking opportunity to follow up at a later date, should you not get this job and something else comes up in the future. 8. How do I conclude our conversation? The end of the interview is just as important as the beginning; do not leave the conversation hanging in the air. Be a closer and close it! 9. How do I make this interview warm and memorable? Exude confidence and truly listen when the interviewer speaks. Don't be in such a haste to respond- absorb and then respond. 10. How do I come away from this interview knowing that I gave it my best shot? Take a notebook with you- writes notes, highlight important facts, check off what you have discussed and do a quick mental review to be sure that both you and the interviewer come away satisfied. Lastly, be sure to ask questions of the interviewer as they do of you. You are equally there to vet them and see if the company and position is one that you would enjoy working at. Go ace your next interview!
  3. Nursing is just a job For some it may be a calling,all well and good but for most, it is simply just a job. When you learn to look at it scientifically without having too much expectation of suddenly becoming all altruistic or Nightingalish”, you would truly have a better time and go at it. Common Myths (& facts) in Nursing Myth: Becoming a nurse means becoming angelic overnight Fact: Nope! If you were Dracula before nursing school, you will still be Dracula after nursing school (and if you weren't, you'd become one!:) Myth: Everyone is pleasant in nursing Fact: Nope! Nursing is a job and like all jobs you get the good mixed in with the bad Myth: You suddenly feel called to a purpose Fact: Nope! Nursing is a job , a darn good job that pays the bills and keeps up whatever lifestyle you have is all it is. Myth: You become a martyr Fact: Nope! You still have choices and it is up to you to decide whether you want to be stepped on or not. So understand that nursing is just a job. When you put things in perspective, you find that you have a clearer sense of what it is that you do or don't want. Peace;)
  4. The_Optimist

    For Nurses Quitting Nursing

    Nurses give up too easily! I hate nursing!” This is not what I expected.” I wish I had never gone to nursing school at all...” And whatever else popular refrain there is. So you graduated nursing school and started working, only to discover that nursing isn't exactly what you thought it would be, or your cup of tea. And your next plan is to bail out of it, right? Wrong! Where, is your backbone of steel? So nursing is not your cup of tea or what you thought it would be, that's okay. But, do you allow your blood, sweat and money go down the drain without an exit plan. No, you come with a strategy of how to make things work for you. You refocus and remind yourself that nursing is only a job, and one that you would need to do well, ( as with any other job) to deserve your pay. And then you work at it- give it a little time to be absolutely certain, that it is NOT what you want and THEN come up with an exit plan of where next you want life to take you. Be sure to be frugal and save up while working on your exit strategy and this time, network, network network, in the potential career path, that you would like to go on. You don't want to get a rude awakening when you have a repeat. Peace :)
  5. The_Optimist

    Is It really management?

    Is It really management? Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country? If you have been in nursing or even healthcare for any amount of time, then chances are that you have heard this before, It's management”!” But, is it always management though? Please do not misunderstand the idea behind this. It is not to make a case for management because surely, there are managements that should be blown out of existence…like yesterday. The idea behind this is to self-reflect- is it always management? -Is it management when one nurse decides to gossip about another instead of uplifting that person? -Is it management when you decide to take 20 normal saline syringes or alcohol pads for one single lumen q6h flush? - Is it management when you call in to get back at the charge nurse or person that irritated you the shift before? -Is it management when you label that patient or that patient's family as difficult” loony” or some other name, when all they wanted to do was be an advocate for their loved one? - Is it management when you act less than stellar when you think no one is watching you? And many other things…so just before you decide to use that very popular refrain, It's management”, stop and think real hard, Is it REALLY management”? To tie it all in with what John F. Kennedy's quote Ask not what your Country can do for you, ask what you can do for your Country” How have you in your own way done one thing a shift for the betterment of all? TASK: How can you today, perform one simple gesture for someone at your work place, that might have a ripple effect!
  6. The_Optimist

    Is It really management?

    Management sets the tone, but team members could show some accountability and resourcefulness.
  7. The_Optimist

    Don't go into nursing school if_____

    Do not go into nursing if you have poor time management skills Do not go into nursing if you refuse to prioritize Do not go into Nursing if your sole purpose is to be a martyr Do not go into Nursing , if you are unwilling to be flexible Do not go into Nursing, if you fail to see the bigger picture Do not go into Nursing if you do not understand that Nursing is a business Do NOT go into Nursing school if you suddenly have a rethink of your "dreams" from reading this thread.
  8. The_Optimist

    Don't go into nursing school if_____

    Pls go to Nursing school for the money; just be sure to bring your best efforts and work ethics to it:up:
  9. The_Optimist

    Don't go into nursing school if_____

    Totally nothing wrong with this statement; it is the poster's opinion and she is entitled to it. Just like the atheists are entitled to theirs.
  10. The_Optimist

    Girl Brain Dead after Tonsillectomy

    It is a very sad situation. I also find it amazing that they went straight to surgery first. I wonder if anyone considered putting the child on a weight-loss regime first? As someone mentioned she was not at a healthy weight for her age. All in all, a very sad situation at a time like this...
  11. The_Optimist

    Hospital is filing ch 11 bankrupcy, what to expect?

    Never have been in a union working environment; jury is still out on that.But I wondered about the timing too- just went union in September and bust in December. If you have a good lawyer, you can find a loophole in almost everything!
  12. The_Optimist

    Punished for good time management (Vent)

    I think Levitas meant for you to speak with your charge nurse. Also, I know it does not look like that right now, but see it as a compliment to your excellent time management skills:yes:. "It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it."
  13. The_Optimist

    Am I Too Old?

    I am never one to say no to any person's goals but they HAVE got to have some passion for whatever it is they want to do.May I suggest that you get a pen and paper and jot down the pros & cons for your goal. Look at it very critically and go from there. Hear other people's opinions and suggestions. Whatever right decision you make will give you peace and that will make you go for it in the long haul, regardless of circumstances. All the best.
  14. The_Optimist

    My school is saying I owe 1750!

    How does one respond to this?With humor! You kill me:)
  15. The_Optimist

    My school is saying I owe 1750!

    This seems like a case of miscommunication.Sorry about that:no:. But this should be easy to solve. September was not too long ago, when you got the refund and since, you are working towards nursing school and saved it up, you should be able to just give them back the refund. Yes?
  16. There would be business done on the golf course There would be thoughts on how innovative one could get There would be zero tolerance for abusive patients Maid service? What's that?!! If Nursing were a male dominated field... There would be respect for hierarchy Being snarky? We would duke it out where it really counts...the bar! There would be organization... there would be a constant think-outside-the-box Just because it has always been done that way, Does not mean it should stay that way! Change is a constant in life...embrace it. If nursing were a male-dominated field... Martyrdom would die...a thousand deaths They would be paid every cent of their worth Press Garney be darned Show me the darn money! If nursing were a male-dominated field There would be deals and a lot of networking Hey, mi casa, su casa! There would be more of open communication Less of passive aggressive behavior Trust me, you won't need a code to decipher what they meant If nursing were a male-dominated field, there would be less of this After a fight, misunderstanding...anything (Female Version): "I am never going to speak to that female dog again" And more of this: (Male version): "Dude, still meeting up tonight right?" If nursing were a male-dominated field No work would get done...because the nurses would have been appropriated by the female patients who just want a listening ear and the males nurses who just.can't.say.no! But nursing is not a male dominated field, so we live on... The End By The Optimist
  17. The_Optimist

    Admitting you are wrong

  18. The_Optimist

    Admitting you are wrong

    @Madwife2002, I like that. I have no problem apologizing when I am wrong- it makes for better relationships. My work involves making some clear-cut decisions, which everyone has to live by. So I try to be doubly sure when I say stuff because they'd have a huge implication. And any time someone raises a question on new issues, I pedal slowly because hey, no one knows it all. Plus I don't want to have to eat my words.LOL
  19. The_Optimist

    Unrealistic nursing students

    While there is some merit to this, you don't ALWAYS have to have been at bedside to excel in leadership positions. There are quite some different criteria to that.
  20. The_Optimist

    Unrealistic nursing students

    @Zeus&Lincoln,I apologize for my earlier comment; I was wrong. Thanks for the reformatting:)
  21. The_Optimist

    Got to use my neuro skills in real life!

    Saying thanks and moving on wouldn't hurt either. What's with the sensitivity, people? You did an amazing job of rising to an unexpected situation; positive reinforcement is always good for one's confidence level:).
  22. The_Optimist

    Suicide Is Not Your Answer

    Thank you, Commuter. But nowhere in your original post was this stated or referenced. This conversation would not have happened had that been the case. As a precautionary advice; if you did not see it, if it did not happen to you directly, then you cannot "speak" as though it did. It is a dishonest and misleading thing to do. It is very acceptable to write from your point of view though and thanks for sourcing out your reference:yes:
  23. The_Optimist

    Suicide Is Not Your Answer

    @ The Commuter, I love your posts, I really do. But it does irk me a bit when you write posts from a third person view with such certainty. Did either of these ladies leave a suicide note? No one will ever know why they did what they did. All the occurrences that happened leading to their untimely deaths were all circumstantial. We can all assume as you have done, that these must have factored in, but we cannot say with CERTAINTY (as you have done), that they did. Again, I love your posts but saying tings with certainty as a third party, when you had no way of knowing what really occurred can be considered a tad bit misleading.
  24. The_Optimist

    Burn out; a positive outcome

    When you hear the word, "burn-out", it is usually as a connotation to something negative. But have you ever considered that burn-out could sometimes be for the positive? How many people would have considered a change in job situation if they had not experienced a burn-out? Chances are, very few. After all, they would be so comfortable at their present place of employment that there would be no need for change? Right?We are rather quick and content to honker down at a spot (job) we feel is comfortable at the time and settle in for the long haul. But have you considered that even though that place may have seemed perfect at the beginning, that with time, you get bored and dissatisfied? It is also at this time, you are most likely to experience burn-out. At the beginning, you made the best decision you could have at the time and were happy with it. But as time went by, the burn-out settled in because it was probably time for you to reinvent yourself again. So have you considered that maybe, just maybe it is very possible that burn-out occurs for a positive reason, - -To either get you out of a routine rut - -To get you out of complacency (the biggest disease of progress) - -Open your eyes to new possibilities - -Have a rethink on your life's goals My suggestion is for you to consider the positive side of burn-out, don't just discount it as hare-brained talk. Take a moment to reflect, it could be your paradigm shift. For after all, burn-out could be your inner voice telling you to reconsider where you are right now and open your mind to new possibilities. Burn-out is not ALWAYS bad...
  25. The_Optimist

    Do Not Over-Share!

    No apologies needed. If my post came across wrong to you, that was not intended in any way. I thought about putting in a smiley face to lessen any offense you might take but decided against it. We don't KNOW that the student "skated away". For all we know, she might have received some sort of punishment (hopefully).

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