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Maureen Bonatch MSN

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  1. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN reacted to Lane Therrell FNP, MSN, RN in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    I believe this topic is far more important than generally recognized in healthcare. Unhealthy relationships can be a key contributor to chronic stress, and we all know what chronic stress does to the body... Healthy relationships are created and nurtured by effective interpersonal communication. But who's teaching the "soft" skills? 
  2. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN reacted to FolksBtrippin in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    When we identify "relationship strain" instead of "abuse", we improve access to services. 
    "Abuse" is very stigmatizing. It's even criminal. 
    Not saying it isn't an appropriate word or idea in some situations (definitely in physical violence) but not every unhealthy relationship rises to that level.
     
  3. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN reacted to SafetyNurse1968, ADN, BSN, MSN, PhD in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    Great article. So appreciate the info about gaslighting. It looks like you and I have similar interests! I'm following you - hope you'll consider following me - it's nice to get some dialogue going.
  4. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    Nurses are often the healthcare professional patients turn to when they’re vulnerable. As the most trusted profession, our patients may confide information during routine care that they wouldn’t normally share. Sometimes vague or questionable information about relationships may be concerning, and raise questions as to whether emotional or physical abuse is occurring. The way we respond to the patient may determine whether they feel validated, or persist in seeking help.
    Emotional abuse may be challenging to define, since the signs may be subtle, or absent. Nurses are in a unique position to provide education on early interventions, prevention, and health promotion. Adequate communication, and developing an awareness of signs of emotional abuse, may provide an opportunity to offer guidance and education.
    Emotional Abuse
    Most of us have been in arguments, or yelled at someone we care about. Often we regret it and apologize later, and sometimes we don’t. These occasional outbursts are normal expressions of emotions. But if yelling or hysterical screaming is the first, and only response, that may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
    Emotional abuse is an attempt to control the other in a relationship. Often the perpetrator doesn't even realize they’re being emotionally abusive. They may feel insecure and blame the other for their unhappiness, or think they know what’s best. A few potential signs of emotional abuse include when one person in a relationship tends to:
    Respond with criticism Attempt to isolate the victim from family and friends Make unfounded accusations Constantly check on their partner’s whereabouts Review their phone, email, and computer history Accuse and place blame for their problems Humiliate with name calling, and other methods to belittle or embarrass Gaslighting
    Another form of emotional abuse is known as gaslighting. This manipulation tactic to gain power in a relationship makes the victim question their reality. It can occur in a relationship, the workplace, and has been used by abusers and cult leaders. Gaslighting is done slowly so it wears the victim down until they begin to doubt themselves, lose confidence and their own sense of identity. Even if the perpetrator tells lies to distract from their behavior, and deny what the victim knows is the truth, they may be begin to doubt their perception of reality.
    Codependency
    Codependency can affect the ability to have a healthy relationship. These relationships are often one-sided and emotionally destructive or abusive. Initially this term was used to describe relationships that involved alcohol or drug dependence, but it has since expanded to include relationships with someone who is mentally ill, or from a dysfunctional family.
    The victim may neglect their own needs, and their family and friends to support their abuser. This unhealthy behavior has become their normal. They may not know how to respond in any other way. Despite their unhappiness, often they feel guilty, and as if they’re to blame.
    Look for Subtle Signs
    We may need to confront their own fears, values, attitude and beliefs about abuse to educate themselves about signs of emotional abuse. Personal experiences and cultural upbringings may cause us to overlook the signs, or question why the patient hasn’t taken the steps to end or leave an emotionally abusive relationship. Relationships are stressful and often the victim invests significant energy into preventing the next emotionally abusive episode. They may not want the relationship to end, but want the emotionally abusive behavior to stop.
    Nurses can look for subtle physical signs that don’t have an identifiable underlying cause such as stress-related health issues such as digestive issues, headaches, or being evasive to the cause of an injury. Try to communicate with the patient alone in a safe, quiet setting and avoid undermining or judging the victim.
    Safety First
    Nurses play a role in identifying, and reporting, signs of domestic violence, now often referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV). Even though the majority of victims are women, men can suffer emotional or physical violence as well. Appearances shouldn’t be judged as to who seems more physically intimidating in the relationship and who might be at risk.
    Encourage patients who you fear might be in an unhealthy relationship to devise a safety plan if they don’t intend to leave, or a code word for family and friends to indicate they’re in trouble. Provide available hotlines and other resources so they realize that there’s help available.
    Increase Awareness
    Often patients who may suffer from emotional or physical abuse don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean we can’t offer it. Acquiring ongoing education can help increase the awareness of emotional abuse, and the ability to identify the signs of an unhealthy relationship and how to help these patients.
  5. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    Nurses are often the healthcare professional patients turn to when they’re vulnerable. As the most trusted profession, our patients may confide information during routine care that they wouldn’t normally share. Sometimes vague or questionable information about relationships may be concerning, and raise questions as to whether emotional or physical abuse is occurring. The way we respond to the patient may determine whether they feel validated, or persist in seeking help.
    Emotional abuse may be challenging to define, since the signs may be subtle, or absent. Nurses are in a unique position to provide education on early interventions, prevention, and health promotion. Adequate communication, and developing an awareness of signs of emotional abuse, may provide an opportunity to offer guidance and education.
    Emotional Abuse
    Most of us have been in arguments, or yelled at someone we care about. Often we regret it and apologize later, and sometimes we don’t. These occasional outbursts are normal expressions of emotions. But if yelling or hysterical screaming is the first, and only response, that may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
    Emotional abuse is an attempt to control the other in a relationship. Often the perpetrator doesn't even realize they’re being emotionally abusive. They may feel insecure and blame the other for their unhappiness, or think they know what’s best. A few potential signs of emotional abuse include when one person in a relationship tends to:
    Respond with criticism Attempt to isolate the victim from family and friends Make unfounded accusations Constantly check on their partner’s whereabouts Review their phone, email, and computer history Accuse and place blame for their problems Humiliate with name calling, and other methods to belittle or embarrass Gaslighting
    Another form of emotional abuse is known as gaslighting. This manipulation tactic to gain power in a relationship makes the victim question their reality. It can occur in a relationship, the workplace, and has been used by abusers and cult leaders. Gaslighting is done slowly so it wears the victim down until they begin to doubt themselves, lose confidence and their own sense of identity. Even if the perpetrator tells lies to distract from their behavior, and deny what the victim knows is the truth, they may be begin to doubt their perception of reality.
    Codependency
    Codependency can affect the ability to have a healthy relationship. These relationships are often one-sided and emotionally destructive or abusive. Initially this term was used to describe relationships that involved alcohol or drug dependence, but it has since expanded to include relationships with someone who is mentally ill, or from a dysfunctional family.
    The victim may neglect their own needs, and their family and friends to support their abuser. This unhealthy behavior has become their normal. They may not know how to respond in any other way. Despite their unhappiness, often they feel guilty, and as if they’re to blame.
    Look for Subtle Signs
    We may need to confront their own fears, values, attitude and beliefs about abuse to educate themselves about signs of emotional abuse. Personal experiences and cultural upbringings may cause us to overlook the signs, or question why the patient hasn’t taken the steps to end or leave an emotionally abusive relationship. Relationships are stressful and often the victim invests significant energy into preventing the next emotionally abusive episode. They may not want the relationship to end, but want the emotionally abusive behavior to stop.
    Nurses can look for subtle physical signs that don’t have an identifiable underlying cause such as stress-related health issues such as digestive issues, headaches, or being evasive to the cause of an injury. Try to communicate with the patient alone in a safe, quiet setting and avoid undermining or judging the victim.
    Safety First
    Nurses play a role in identifying, and reporting, signs of domestic violence, now often referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV). Even though the majority of victims are women, men can suffer emotional or physical violence as well. Appearances shouldn’t be judged as to who seems more physically intimidating in the relationship and who might be at risk.
    Encourage patients who you fear might be in an unhealthy relationship to devise a safety plan if they don’t intend to leave, or a code word for family and friends to indicate they’re in trouble. Provide available hotlines and other resources so they realize that there’s help available.
    Increase Awareness
    Often patients who may suffer from emotional or physical abuse don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean we can’t offer it. Acquiring ongoing education can help increase the awareness of emotional abuse, and the ability to identify the signs of an unhealthy relationship and how to help these patients.
  6. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in How Do You Referee as a Nursing Supervisor?   
    Where there are people, there’s conflict. Unfortunately, as much as we try, we can’t always leave our differences at the door before starting work. Varying opinions, miscommunication, misunderstandings, values, and priorities can lead to tension and stress. Employee conflicts can create an uncomfortable work environment. As a nursing supervisor, you can’t ignore a volatile situation between employees once you’re aware of it. Often it’s not the conflict that’s the problem, but how we deal with it.
    That’s Not In The Job Description
    When you started as a nursing supervisor, you may not have considered the challenges of dealing with the conflicting personalities of the employees you supervise. Most employees are hired based upon their knowledge and skill, which doesn’t mean they’ll get along with everyone they work with. It can become an even more unpleasant part of your job if you try to ignore the issue. You might end up spending a lot of your time, thought, and emotional energy dealing with the consequences of the conflict.
    It’s best to intervene early to help ease the tension. If you ignore the problem, it may nurture feelings of ineffectiveness and frustration with your position. This may evolve into unresolved resentment for the employees that have made the work environment uncomfortable.
    Step Into the Ring
    You may be the supervisor, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t formed friendships with some employees and developed your own assumptions of others. This can make it more difficult when dealing with a situation. You’ll have to leave your biases and preconceived opinions behind to approach the situation objectively.
    It may be your instinct to try to fix the conflict, but you should try to determine the source of the discord before acting. Just as if it were a patient presenting with a conflicting diagnosis, it’s best to seek the true cause of the symptoms before starting to treat them.
    Put Away the Gloves
    You might only know part, or one side, of the story. Take the time to listen and try to understand the situation before acting. Sometimes when employees feel as if they’re heard it might be enough to start mending fences. Ask questions to prompt them to think about the situation from a different perspective. If possible, encourage the employees to work it out themselves.
    Discord could stem from a variety of reasons such as conflicting personalities, gossip, unequal pay, jealousy, feeling as if a coworker isn’t pulling their weight, perceptions, internal or external stressors, believing there’s favoritism—or they just don’t get along. A few ways to work to resolve the discord include to:
    Allow each employee to privately verbalize their concerns Seek to identify and how to best address the problem Rule out bullying and incivility Give clear, behavioral feedback regarding what could be done differently, with specific information on how to improve Be consistent with standards and set consequences, so employees know what to expect Follow-through to ensure that the problem is resolving Document the situation, steps taken, and resolution for reference Apologize if you’ve played a role in creating the discord Seek another perspective, such as someone from human resources, or another manager, if necessary Ring the Bell
    It can be challenging to be around the same people every day, and even more so when you work in a stressful environment. The healthcare environment requires teamwork to provide safe, quality care. It’s in your best interest, and the interest of your patients, to work to resolve the situation. Draw on your communication skills to help employees develop a professional, or tolerable, relationship.  
    A nurse leader’s work often involves leading by example and providing guidance and coaching to help employees work through discord. It may be an unsavory part, but it’s a necessary one. Try to be alert for signs of animosity before a situation becomes volatile or uncomfortable. Although sometimes, despite your best efforts, there are situations that disciplinary action may become necessary. Be sure to be consistent with following the steps and guidelines from your facility.
    There’s No Winner or Loser
    A nurse leader has to be involved with their employees to know a problem exists. Dealing with employee conflicts may not be the most enjoyable part of the job as a nursing supervisor, but it can help you gain the respect of your employees, and grow as a leader. Although there’s no formula that will work for any, and all, employees, sometimes just taking the time to listen and seek a satisfactory solution can be beneficial for your employees.
    How Have You Dealt With Employee Conflicts?
    Article Sources
    7 Strategies to Manage Conflict
    9 Ways to Deal With Difficult Employees
    Can’t Nurses Just Get Along? How to Deal With Lateral Violence in Nursing
    Dealing With Difficult People
  7. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in How Do You Referee as a Nursing Supervisor?   
    Where there are people, there’s conflict. Unfortunately, as much as we try, we can’t always leave our differences at the door before starting work. Varying opinions, miscommunication, misunderstandings, values, and priorities can lead to tension and stress. Employee conflicts can create an uncomfortable work environment. As a nursing supervisor, you can’t ignore a volatile situation between employees once you’re aware of it. Often it’s not the conflict that’s the problem, but how we deal with it.
    That’s Not In The Job Description
    When you started as a nursing supervisor, you may not have considered the challenges of dealing with the conflicting personalities of the employees you supervise. Most employees are hired based upon their knowledge and skill, which doesn’t mean they’ll get along with everyone they work with. It can become an even more unpleasant part of your job if you try to ignore the issue. You might end up spending a lot of your time, thought, and emotional energy dealing with the consequences of the conflict.
    It’s best to intervene early to help ease the tension. If you ignore the problem, it may nurture feelings of ineffectiveness and frustration with your position. This may evolve into unresolved resentment for the employees that have made the work environment uncomfortable.
    Step Into the Ring
    You may be the supervisor, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t formed friendships with some employees and developed your own assumptions of others. This can make it more difficult when dealing with a situation. You’ll have to leave your biases and preconceived opinions behind to approach the situation objectively.
    It may be your instinct to try to fix the conflict, but you should try to determine the source of the discord before acting. Just as if it were a patient presenting with a conflicting diagnosis, it’s best to seek the true cause of the symptoms before starting to treat them.
    Put Away the Gloves
    You might only know part, or one side, of the story. Take the time to listen and try to understand the situation before acting. Sometimes when employees feel as if they’re heard it might be enough to start mending fences. Ask questions to prompt them to think about the situation from a different perspective. If possible, encourage the employees to work it out themselves.
    Discord could stem from a variety of reasons such as conflicting personalities, gossip, unequal pay, jealousy, feeling as if a coworker isn’t pulling their weight, perceptions, internal or external stressors, believing there’s favoritism—or they just don’t get along. A few ways to work to resolve the discord include to:
    Allow each employee to privately verbalize their concerns Seek to identify and how to best address the problem Rule out bullying and incivility Give clear, behavioral feedback regarding what could be done differently, with specific information on how to improve Be consistent with standards and set consequences, so employees know what to expect Follow-through to ensure that the problem is resolving Document the situation, steps taken, and resolution for reference Apologize if you’ve played a role in creating the discord Seek another perspective, such as someone from human resources, or another manager, if necessary Ring the Bell
    It can be challenging to be around the same people every day, and even more so when you work in a stressful environment. The healthcare environment requires teamwork to provide safe, quality care. It’s in your best interest, and the interest of your patients, to work to resolve the situation. Draw on your communication skills to help employees develop a professional, or tolerable, relationship.  
    A nurse leader’s work often involves leading by example and providing guidance and coaching to help employees work through discord. It may be an unsavory part, but it’s a necessary one. Try to be alert for signs of animosity before a situation becomes volatile or uncomfortable. Although sometimes, despite your best efforts, there are situations that disciplinary action may become necessary. Be sure to be consistent with following the steps and guidelines from your facility.
    There’s No Winner or Loser
    A nurse leader has to be involved with their employees to know a problem exists. Dealing with employee conflicts may not be the most enjoyable part of the job as a nursing supervisor, but it can help you gain the respect of your employees, and grow as a leader. Although there’s no formula that will work for any, and all, employees, sometimes just taking the time to listen and seek a satisfactory solution can be beneficial for your employees.
    How Have You Dealt With Employee Conflicts?
    Article Sources
    7 Strategies to Manage Conflict
    9 Ways to Deal With Difficult Employees
    Can’t Nurses Just Get Along? How to Deal With Lateral Violence in Nursing
    Dealing With Difficult People
  8. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN reacted to rachelalexis23 in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    Many people stay for a variety of reasons (i love him, he says he will change, low self esteem, children are involved) but I believe a lot of times it is fear of the consequences of leaving. Please keep this in mind the most dangerous time for a victim can be when they decide to leave. I know from personal experience as i am sure many on here do, that its a truly terrifying way to live.
  9. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    Nurses are often the healthcare professional patients turn to when they’re vulnerable. As the most trusted profession, our patients may confide information during routine care that they wouldn’t normally share. Sometimes vague or questionable information about relationships may be concerning, and raise questions as to whether emotional or physical abuse is occurring. The way we respond to the patient may determine whether they feel validated, or persist in seeking help.
    Emotional abuse may be challenging to define, since the signs may be subtle, or absent. Nurses are in a unique position to provide education on early interventions, prevention, and health promotion. Adequate communication, and developing an awareness of signs of emotional abuse, may provide an opportunity to offer guidance and education.
    Emotional Abuse
    Most of us have been in arguments, or yelled at someone we care about. Often we regret it and apologize later, and sometimes we don’t. These occasional outbursts are normal expressions of emotions. But if yelling or hysterical screaming is the first, and only response, that may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
    Emotional abuse is an attempt to control the other in a relationship. Often the perpetrator doesn't even realize they’re being emotionally abusive. They may feel insecure and blame the other for their unhappiness, or think they know what’s best. A few potential signs of emotional abuse include when one person in a relationship tends to:
    Respond with criticism Attempt to isolate the victim from family and friends Make unfounded accusations Constantly check on their partner’s whereabouts Review their phone, email, and computer history Accuse and place blame for their problems Humiliate with name calling, and other methods to belittle or embarrass Gaslighting
    Another form of emotional abuse is known as gaslighting. This manipulation tactic to gain power in a relationship makes the victim question their reality. It can occur in a relationship, the workplace, and has been used by abusers and cult leaders. Gaslighting is done slowly so it wears the victim down until they begin to doubt themselves, lose confidence and their own sense of identity. Even if the perpetrator tells lies to distract from their behavior, and deny what the victim knows is the truth, they may be begin to doubt their perception of reality.
    Codependency
    Codependency can affect the ability to have a healthy relationship. These relationships are often one-sided and emotionally destructive or abusive. Initially this term was used to describe relationships that involved alcohol or drug dependence, but it has since expanded to include relationships with someone who is mentally ill, or from a dysfunctional family.
    The victim may neglect their own needs, and their family and friends to support their abuser. This unhealthy behavior has become their normal. They may not know how to respond in any other way. Despite their unhappiness, often they feel guilty, and as if they’re to blame.
    Look for Subtle Signs
    We may need to confront their own fears, values, attitude and beliefs about abuse to educate themselves about signs of emotional abuse. Personal experiences and cultural upbringings may cause us to overlook the signs, or question why the patient hasn’t taken the steps to end or leave an emotionally abusive relationship. Relationships are stressful and often the victim invests significant energy into preventing the next emotionally abusive episode. They may not want the relationship to end, but want the emotionally abusive behavior to stop.
    Nurses can look for subtle physical signs that don’t have an identifiable underlying cause such as stress-related health issues such as digestive issues, headaches, or being evasive to the cause of an injury. Try to communicate with the patient alone in a safe, quiet setting and avoid undermining or judging the victim.
    Safety First
    Nurses play a role in identifying, and reporting, signs of domestic violence, now often referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV). Even though the majority of victims are women, men can suffer emotional or physical violence as well. Appearances shouldn’t be judged as to who seems more physically intimidating in the relationship and who might be at risk.
    Encourage patients who you fear might be in an unhealthy relationship to devise a safety plan if they don’t intend to leave, or a code word for family and friends to indicate they’re in trouble. Provide available hotlines and other resources so they realize that there’s help available.
    Increase Awareness
    Often patients who may suffer from emotional or physical abuse don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean we can’t offer it. Acquiring ongoing education can help increase the awareness of emotional abuse, and the ability to identify the signs of an unhealthy relationship and how to help these patients.
  10. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in How Do You Referee as a Nursing Supervisor?   
    Where there are people, there’s conflict. Unfortunately, as much as we try, we can’t always leave our differences at the door before starting work. Varying opinions, miscommunication, misunderstandings, values, and priorities can lead to tension and stress. Employee conflicts can create an uncomfortable work environment. As a nursing supervisor, you can’t ignore a volatile situation between employees once you’re aware of it. Often it’s not the conflict that’s the problem, but how we deal with it.
    That’s Not In The Job Description
    When you started as a nursing supervisor, you may not have considered the challenges of dealing with the conflicting personalities of the employees you supervise. Most employees are hired based upon their knowledge and skill, which doesn’t mean they’ll get along with everyone they work with. It can become an even more unpleasant part of your job if you try to ignore the issue. You might end up spending a lot of your time, thought, and emotional energy dealing with the consequences of the conflict.
    It’s best to intervene early to help ease the tension. If you ignore the problem, it may nurture feelings of ineffectiveness and frustration with your position. This may evolve into unresolved resentment for the employees that have made the work environment uncomfortable.
    Step Into the Ring
    You may be the supervisor, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t formed friendships with some employees and developed your own assumptions of others. This can make it more difficult when dealing with a situation. You’ll have to leave your biases and preconceived opinions behind to approach the situation objectively.
    It may be your instinct to try to fix the conflict, but you should try to determine the source of the discord before acting. Just as if it were a patient presenting with a conflicting diagnosis, it’s best to seek the true cause of the symptoms before starting to treat them.
    Put Away the Gloves
    You might only know part, or one side, of the story. Take the time to listen and try to understand the situation before acting. Sometimes when employees feel as if they’re heard it might be enough to start mending fences. Ask questions to prompt them to think about the situation from a different perspective. If possible, encourage the employees to work it out themselves.
    Discord could stem from a variety of reasons such as conflicting personalities, gossip, unequal pay, jealousy, feeling as if a coworker isn’t pulling their weight, perceptions, internal or external stressors, believing there’s favoritism—or they just don’t get along. A few ways to work to resolve the discord include to:
    Allow each employee to privately verbalize their concerns Seek to identify and how to best address the problem Rule out bullying and incivility Give clear, behavioral feedback regarding what could be done differently, with specific information on how to improve Be consistent with standards and set consequences, so employees know what to expect Follow-through to ensure that the problem is resolving Document the situation, steps taken, and resolution for reference Apologize if you’ve played a role in creating the discord Seek another perspective, such as someone from human resources, or another manager, if necessary Ring the Bell
    It can be challenging to be around the same people every day, and even more so when you work in a stressful environment. The healthcare environment requires teamwork to provide safe, quality care. It’s in your best interest, and the interest of your patients, to work to resolve the situation. Draw on your communication skills to help employees develop a professional, or tolerable, relationship.  
    A nurse leader’s work often involves leading by example and providing guidance and coaching to help employees work through discord. It may be an unsavory part, but it’s a necessary one. Try to be alert for signs of animosity before a situation becomes volatile or uncomfortable. Although sometimes, despite your best efforts, there are situations that disciplinary action may become necessary. Be sure to be consistent with following the steps and guidelines from your facility.
    There’s No Winner or Loser
    A nurse leader has to be involved with their employees to know a problem exists. Dealing with employee conflicts may not be the most enjoyable part of the job as a nursing supervisor, but it can help you gain the respect of your employees, and grow as a leader. Although there’s no formula that will work for any, and all, employees, sometimes just taking the time to listen and seek a satisfactory solution can be beneficial for your employees.
    How Have You Dealt With Employee Conflicts?
    Article Sources
    7 Strategies to Manage Conflict
    9 Ways to Deal With Difficult Employees
    Can’t Nurses Just Get Along? How to Deal With Lateral Violence in Nursing
    Dealing With Difficult People
  11. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in How Do You Referee as a Nursing Supervisor?   
    Where there are people, there’s conflict. Unfortunately, as much as we try, we can’t always leave our differences at the door before starting work. Varying opinions, miscommunication, misunderstandings, values, and priorities can lead to tension and stress. Employee conflicts can create an uncomfortable work environment. As a nursing supervisor, you can’t ignore a volatile situation between employees once you’re aware of it. Often it’s not the conflict that’s the problem, but how we deal with it.
    That’s Not In The Job Description
    When you started as a nursing supervisor, you may not have considered the challenges of dealing with the conflicting personalities of the employees you supervise. Most employees are hired based upon their knowledge and skill, which doesn’t mean they’ll get along with everyone they work with. It can become an even more unpleasant part of your job if you try to ignore the issue. You might end up spending a lot of your time, thought, and emotional energy dealing with the consequences of the conflict.
    It’s best to intervene early to help ease the tension. If you ignore the problem, it may nurture feelings of ineffectiveness and frustration with your position. This may evolve into unresolved resentment for the employees that have made the work environment uncomfortable.
    Step Into the Ring
    You may be the supervisor, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t formed friendships with some employees and developed your own assumptions of others. This can make it more difficult when dealing with a situation. You’ll have to leave your biases and preconceived opinions behind to approach the situation objectively.
    It may be your instinct to try to fix the conflict, but you should try to determine the source of the discord before acting. Just as if it were a patient presenting with a conflicting diagnosis, it’s best to seek the true cause of the symptoms before starting to treat them.
    Put Away the Gloves
    You might only know part, or one side, of the story. Take the time to listen and try to understand the situation before acting. Sometimes when employees feel as if they’re heard it might be enough to start mending fences. Ask questions to prompt them to think about the situation from a different perspective. If possible, encourage the employees to work it out themselves.
    Discord could stem from a variety of reasons such as conflicting personalities, gossip, unequal pay, jealousy, feeling as if a coworker isn’t pulling their weight, perceptions, internal or external stressors, believing there’s favoritism—or they just don’t get along. A few ways to work to resolve the discord include to:
    Allow each employee to privately verbalize their concerns Seek to identify and how to best address the problem Rule out bullying and incivility Give clear, behavioral feedback regarding what could be done differently, with specific information on how to improve Be consistent with standards and set consequences, so employees know what to expect Follow-through to ensure that the problem is resolving Document the situation, steps taken, and resolution for reference Apologize if you’ve played a role in creating the discord Seek another perspective, such as someone from human resources, or another manager, if necessary Ring the Bell
    It can be challenging to be around the same people every day, and even more so when you work in a stressful environment. The healthcare environment requires teamwork to provide safe, quality care. It’s in your best interest, and the interest of your patients, to work to resolve the situation. Draw on your communication skills to help employees develop a professional, or tolerable, relationship.  
    A nurse leader’s work often involves leading by example and providing guidance and coaching to help employees work through discord. It may be an unsavory part, but it’s a necessary one. Try to be alert for signs of animosity before a situation becomes volatile or uncomfortable. Although sometimes, despite your best efforts, there are situations that disciplinary action may become necessary. Be sure to be consistent with following the steps and guidelines from your facility.
    There’s No Winner or Loser
    A nurse leader has to be involved with their employees to know a problem exists. Dealing with employee conflicts may not be the most enjoyable part of the job as a nursing supervisor, but it can help you gain the respect of your employees, and grow as a leader. Although there’s no formula that will work for any, and all, employees, sometimes just taking the time to listen and seek a satisfactory solution can be beneficial for your employees.
    How Have You Dealt With Employee Conflicts?
    Article Sources
    7 Strategies to Manage Conflict
    9 Ways to Deal With Difficult Employees
    Can’t Nurses Just Get Along? How to Deal With Lateral Violence in Nursing
    Dealing With Difficult People
  12. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    Nurses are often the healthcare professional patients turn to when they’re vulnerable. As the most trusted profession, our patients may confide information during routine care that they wouldn’t normally share. Sometimes vague or questionable information about relationships may be concerning, and raise questions as to whether emotional or physical abuse is occurring. The way we respond to the patient may determine whether they feel validated, or persist in seeking help.
    Emotional abuse may be challenging to define, since the signs may be subtle, or absent. Nurses are in a unique position to provide education on early interventions, prevention, and health promotion. Adequate communication, and developing an awareness of signs of emotional abuse, may provide an opportunity to offer guidance and education.
    Emotional Abuse
    Most of us have been in arguments, or yelled at someone we care about. Often we regret it and apologize later, and sometimes we don’t. These occasional outbursts are normal expressions of emotions. But if yelling or hysterical screaming is the first, and only response, that may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
    Emotional abuse is an attempt to control the other in a relationship. Often the perpetrator doesn't even realize they’re being emotionally abusive. They may feel insecure and blame the other for their unhappiness, or think they know what’s best. A few potential signs of emotional abuse include when one person in a relationship tends to:
    Respond with criticism Attempt to isolate the victim from family and friends Make unfounded accusations Constantly check on their partner’s whereabouts Review their phone, email, and computer history Accuse and place blame for their problems Humiliate with name calling, and other methods to belittle or embarrass Gaslighting
    Another form of emotional abuse is known as gaslighting. This manipulation tactic to gain power in a relationship makes the victim question their reality. It can occur in a relationship, the workplace, and has been used by abusers and cult leaders. Gaslighting is done slowly so it wears the victim down until they begin to doubt themselves, lose confidence and their own sense of identity. Even if the perpetrator tells lies to distract from their behavior, and deny what the victim knows is the truth, they may be begin to doubt their perception of reality.
    Codependency
    Codependency can affect the ability to have a healthy relationship. These relationships are often one-sided and emotionally destructive or abusive. Initially this term was used to describe relationships that involved alcohol or drug dependence, but it has since expanded to include relationships with someone who is mentally ill, or from a dysfunctional family.
    The victim may neglect their own needs, and their family and friends to support their abuser. This unhealthy behavior has become their normal. They may not know how to respond in any other way. Despite their unhappiness, often they feel guilty, and as if they’re to blame.
    Look for Subtle Signs
    We may need to confront their own fears, values, attitude and beliefs about abuse to educate themselves about signs of emotional abuse. Personal experiences and cultural upbringings may cause us to overlook the signs, or question why the patient hasn’t taken the steps to end or leave an emotionally abusive relationship. Relationships are stressful and often the victim invests significant energy into preventing the next emotionally abusive episode. They may not want the relationship to end, but want the emotionally abusive behavior to stop.
    Nurses can look for subtle physical signs that don’t have an identifiable underlying cause such as stress-related health issues such as digestive issues, headaches, or being evasive to the cause of an injury. Try to communicate with the patient alone in a safe, quiet setting and avoid undermining or judging the victim.
    Safety First
    Nurses play a role in identifying, and reporting, signs of domestic violence, now often referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV). Even though the majority of victims are women, men can suffer emotional or physical violence as well. Appearances shouldn’t be judged as to who seems more physically intimidating in the relationship and who might be at risk.
    Encourage patients who you fear might be in an unhealthy relationship to devise a safety plan if they don’t intend to leave, or a code word for family and friends to indicate they’re in trouble. Provide available hotlines and other resources so they realize that there’s help available.
    Increase Awareness
    Often patients who may suffer from emotional or physical abuse don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean we can’t offer it. Acquiring ongoing education can help increase the awareness of emotional abuse, and the ability to identify the signs of an unhealthy relationship and how to help these patients.
  13. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in How Do You Referee as a Nursing Supervisor?   
    Where there are people, there’s conflict. Unfortunately, as much as we try, we can’t always leave our differences at the door before starting work. Varying opinions, miscommunication, misunderstandings, values, and priorities can lead to tension and stress. Employee conflicts can create an uncomfortable work environment. As a nursing supervisor, you can’t ignore a volatile situation between employees once you’re aware of it. Often it’s not the conflict that’s the problem, but how we deal with it.
    That’s Not In The Job Description
    When you started as a nursing supervisor, you may not have considered the challenges of dealing with the conflicting personalities of the employees you supervise. Most employees are hired based upon their knowledge and skill, which doesn’t mean they’ll get along with everyone they work with. It can become an even more unpleasant part of your job if you try to ignore the issue. You might end up spending a lot of your time, thought, and emotional energy dealing with the consequences of the conflict.
    It’s best to intervene early to help ease the tension. If you ignore the problem, it may nurture feelings of ineffectiveness and frustration with your position. This may evolve into unresolved resentment for the employees that have made the work environment uncomfortable.
    Step Into the Ring
    You may be the supervisor, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t formed friendships with some employees and developed your own assumptions of others. This can make it more difficult when dealing with a situation. You’ll have to leave your biases and preconceived opinions behind to approach the situation objectively.
    It may be your instinct to try to fix the conflict, but you should try to determine the source of the discord before acting. Just as if it were a patient presenting with a conflicting diagnosis, it’s best to seek the true cause of the symptoms before starting to treat them.
    Put Away the Gloves
    You might only know part, or one side, of the story. Take the time to listen and try to understand the situation before acting. Sometimes when employees feel as if they’re heard it might be enough to start mending fences. Ask questions to prompt them to think about the situation from a different perspective. If possible, encourage the employees to work it out themselves.
    Discord could stem from a variety of reasons such as conflicting personalities, gossip, unequal pay, jealousy, feeling as if a coworker isn’t pulling their weight, perceptions, internal or external stressors, believing there’s favoritism—or they just don’t get along. A few ways to work to resolve the discord include to:
    Allow each employee to privately verbalize their concerns Seek to identify and how to best address the problem Rule out bullying and incivility Give clear, behavioral feedback regarding what could be done differently, with specific information on how to improve Be consistent with standards and set consequences, so employees know what to expect Follow-through to ensure that the problem is resolving Document the situation, steps taken, and resolution for reference Apologize if you’ve played a role in creating the discord Seek another perspective, such as someone from human resources, or another manager, if necessary Ring the Bell
    It can be challenging to be around the same people every day, and even more so when you work in a stressful environment. The healthcare environment requires teamwork to provide safe, quality care. It’s in your best interest, and the interest of your patients, to work to resolve the situation. Draw on your communication skills to help employees develop a professional, or tolerable, relationship.  
    A nurse leader’s work often involves leading by example and providing guidance and coaching to help employees work through discord. It may be an unsavory part, but it’s a necessary one. Try to be alert for signs of animosity before a situation becomes volatile or uncomfortable. Although sometimes, despite your best efforts, there are situations that disciplinary action may become necessary. Be sure to be consistent with following the steps and guidelines from your facility.
    There’s No Winner or Loser
    A nurse leader has to be involved with their employees to know a problem exists. Dealing with employee conflicts may not be the most enjoyable part of the job as a nursing supervisor, but it can help you gain the respect of your employees, and grow as a leader. Although there’s no formula that will work for any, and all, employees, sometimes just taking the time to listen and seek a satisfactory solution can be beneficial for your employees.
    How Have You Dealt With Employee Conflicts?
    Article Sources
    7 Strategies to Manage Conflict
    9 Ways to Deal With Difficult Employees
    Can’t Nurses Just Get Along? How to Deal With Lateral Violence in Nursing
    Dealing With Difficult People
  14. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from safetypin, BSN, RN in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    Thank you for sharing! This is wonderful how you've invested in yourself. 🙂
  15. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    Nurses are often the healthcare professional patients turn to when they’re vulnerable. As the most trusted profession, our patients may confide information during routine care that they wouldn’t normally share. Sometimes vague or questionable information about relationships may be concerning, and raise questions as to whether emotional or physical abuse is occurring. The way we respond to the patient may determine whether they feel validated, or persist in seeking help.
    Emotional abuse may be challenging to define, since the signs may be subtle, or absent. Nurses are in a unique position to provide education on early interventions, prevention, and health promotion. Adequate communication, and developing an awareness of signs of emotional abuse, may provide an opportunity to offer guidance and education.
    Emotional Abuse
    Most of us have been in arguments, or yelled at someone we care about. Often we regret it and apologize later, and sometimes we don’t. These occasional outbursts are normal expressions of emotions. But if yelling or hysterical screaming is the first, and only response, that may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
    Emotional abuse is an attempt to control the other in a relationship. Often the perpetrator doesn't even realize they’re being emotionally abusive. They may feel insecure and blame the other for their unhappiness, or think they know what’s best. A few potential signs of emotional abuse include when one person in a relationship tends to:
    Respond with criticism Attempt to isolate the victim from family and friends Make unfounded accusations Constantly check on their partner’s whereabouts Review their phone, email, and computer history Accuse and place blame for their problems Humiliate with name calling, and other methods to belittle or embarrass Gaslighting
    Another form of emotional abuse is known as gaslighting. This manipulation tactic to gain power in a relationship makes the victim question their reality. It can occur in a relationship, the workplace, and has been used by abusers and cult leaders. Gaslighting is done slowly so it wears the victim down until they begin to doubt themselves, lose confidence and their own sense of identity. Even if the perpetrator tells lies to distract from their behavior, and deny what the victim knows is the truth, they may be begin to doubt their perception of reality.
    Codependency
    Codependency can affect the ability to have a healthy relationship. These relationships are often one-sided and emotionally destructive or abusive. Initially this term was used to describe relationships that involved alcohol or drug dependence, but it has since expanded to include relationships with someone who is mentally ill, or from a dysfunctional family.
    The victim may neglect their own needs, and their family and friends to support their abuser. This unhealthy behavior has become their normal. They may not know how to respond in any other way. Despite their unhappiness, often they feel guilty, and as if they’re to blame.
    Look for Subtle Signs
    We may need to confront their own fears, values, attitude and beliefs about abuse to educate themselves about signs of emotional abuse. Personal experiences and cultural upbringings may cause us to overlook the signs, or question why the patient hasn’t taken the steps to end or leave an emotionally abusive relationship. Relationships are stressful and often the victim invests significant energy into preventing the next emotionally abusive episode. They may not want the relationship to end, but want the emotionally abusive behavior to stop.
    Nurses can look for subtle physical signs that don’t have an identifiable underlying cause such as stress-related health issues such as digestive issues, headaches, or being evasive to the cause of an injury. Try to communicate with the patient alone in a safe, quiet setting and avoid undermining or judging the victim.
    Safety First
    Nurses play a role in identifying, and reporting, signs of domestic violence, now often referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV). Even though the majority of victims are women, men can suffer emotional or physical violence as well. Appearances shouldn’t be judged as to who seems more physically intimidating in the relationship and who might be at risk.
    Encourage patients who you fear might be in an unhealthy relationship to devise a safety plan if they don’t intend to leave, or a code word for family and friends to indicate they’re in trouble. Provide available hotlines and other resources so they realize that there’s help available.
    Increase Awareness
    Often patients who may suffer from emotional or physical abuse don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean we can’t offer it. Acquiring ongoing education can help increase the awareness of emotional abuse, and the ability to identify the signs of an unhealthy relationship and how to help these patients.
  16. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in What’s Love Got to Do With It?   
    Nurses are often the healthcare professional patients turn to when they’re vulnerable. As the most trusted profession, our patients may confide information during routine care that they wouldn’t normally share. Sometimes vague or questionable information about relationships may be concerning, and raise questions as to whether emotional or physical abuse is occurring. The way we respond to the patient may determine whether they feel validated, or persist in seeking help.
    Emotional abuse may be challenging to define, since the signs may be subtle, or absent. Nurses are in a unique position to provide education on early interventions, prevention, and health promotion. Adequate communication, and developing an awareness of signs of emotional abuse, may provide an opportunity to offer guidance and education.
    Emotional Abuse
    Most of us have been in arguments, or yelled at someone we care about. Often we regret it and apologize later, and sometimes we don’t. These occasional outbursts are normal expressions of emotions. But if yelling or hysterical screaming is the first, and only response, that may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
    Emotional abuse is an attempt to control the other in a relationship. Often the perpetrator doesn't even realize they’re being emotionally abusive. They may feel insecure and blame the other for their unhappiness, or think they know what’s best. A few potential signs of emotional abuse include when one person in a relationship tends to:
    Respond with criticism Attempt to isolate the victim from family and friends Make unfounded accusations Constantly check on their partner’s whereabouts Review their phone, email, and computer history Accuse and place blame for their problems Humiliate with name calling, and other methods to belittle or embarrass Gaslighting
    Another form of emotional abuse is known as gaslighting. This manipulation tactic to gain power in a relationship makes the victim question their reality. It can occur in a relationship, the workplace, and has been used by abusers and cult leaders. Gaslighting is done slowly so it wears the victim down until they begin to doubt themselves, lose confidence and their own sense of identity. Even if the perpetrator tells lies to distract from their behavior, and deny what the victim knows is the truth, they may be begin to doubt their perception of reality.
    Codependency
    Codependency can affect the ability to have a healthy relationship. These relationships are often one-sided and emotionally destructive or abusive. Initially this term was used to describe relationships that involved alcohol or drug dependence, but it has since expanded to include relationships with someone who is mentally ill, or from a dysfunctional family.
    The victim may neglect their own needs, and their family and friends to support their abuser. This unhealthy behavior has become their normal. They may not know how to respond in any other way. Despite their unhappiness, often they feel guilty, and as if they’re to blame.
    Look for Subtle Signs
    We may need to confront their own fears, values, attitude and beliefs about abuse to educate themselves about signs of emotional abuse. Personal experiences and cultural upbringings may cause us to overlook the signs, or question why the patient hasn’t taken the steps to end or leave an emotionally abusive relationship. Relationships are stressful and often the victim invests significant energy into preventing the next emotionally abusive episode. They may not want the relationship to end, but want the emotionally abusive behavior to stop.
    Nurses can look for subtle physical signs that don’t have an identifiable underlying cause such as stress-related health issues such as digestive issues, headaches, or being evasive to the cause of an injury. Try to communicate with the patient alone in a safe, quiet setting and avoid undermining or judging the victim.
    Safety First
    Nurses play a role in identifying, and reporting, signs of domestic violence, now often referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV). Even though the majority of victims are women, men can suffer emotional or physical violence as well. Appearances shouldn’t be judged as to who seems more physically intimidating in the relationship and who might be at risk.
    Encourage patients who you fear might be in an unhealthy relationship to devise a safety plan if they don’t intend to leave, or a code word for family and friends to indicate they’re in trouble. Provide available hotlines and other resources so they realize that there’s help available.
    Increase Awareness
    Often patients who may suffer from emotional or physical abuse don’t ask for help, but that doesn’t mean we can’t offer it. Acquiring ongoing education can help increase the awareness of emotional abuse, and the ability to identify the signs of an unhealthy relationship and how to help these patients.
  17. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN reacted to safetypin, BSN, RN in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    I've put on hold my overall happiness and health. 
    Two years of nursing school and my first year as an RN put me in a deep depression, wherein I had to leave my first job and seek help. It's about a year from then and I can honestly say that I've found my happiness in truly loving myself and ensuring I take care of body, my investments, and those that I love.
    I've recently started an at-home yoga practice and preparing my own meals, consisting mostly of fresh fruits and vegetables. (And chocolate. Cannot forget the chocolate!) Although already happy, I'm finding that this new routine of mine on my off days has helped with my energy and increased my happiness and contentment in life. I'm also finding that somehow my memory is getting better, too. 
    I have nothing but my patients to thank for my happiness and contentment. I know it's so cliche of me to say this... but they've inspired me to ensure I'm in my best form so that I may be able to take care of them with all that I have.
    Take care, everyone. 
  18. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or … Maybe never. Nurses are busy. As caregivers, we tend to put other’s needs in front of our own. We strive to do as much as we can, for as many people as possible, in the least amount of time. This can lead to missing breaks, staying for a second shift, or not taking that class we were thinking about. We might feel like we don’t have time to add one more thing, or we’re too tired to spend our personal time the way we’d planned.
    After a while, the tendency to put things important to us off until another day may become reflexive, and this behavior can leak into our personal life. When we keep putting our life on hold it could eventually affect our physical and mental health if we deprive ourselves of meeting our needs.
    Why Not Me, Why Not Now?
    I’ll Be Happy When…
    Why do we wait for happiness? Sometimes we associate a new job, finishing a class, losing weight, or a specific day of the week, as what’s standing in the way of happiness. But often once we reach that desired destination, we realize that it wasn’t the barrier. Or we discover that there’s something else we believe we should accomplish first before we can be happy. If we continue with this pattern of putting our happiness on hold, dissatisfaction may become our default emotion.
    I’ll Do That When I Have Time to…
    So far no one has had any more luck coercing Father Time to slow down than they have had in fooling Mother Nature. As much as we try, we all have the same 24 hours each day. The key is dividing up and prioritizing how we want to spend this time. If we feel as if we have no time to do what we want, or what we enjoy, it can take an emotional toll. Make living life now a priority, instead of waiting to enjoy life.
    They’ll Be Upset If I Don’t…
    Sometimes it’s difficult to say no when helping others can feel satisfying. It can provide us with a sense of pride and purpose. But if we spend too much time giving to others and neglecting ourselves it can build resentment. We can still be helpful to others, although if we always say, yes, and never say, no, we might never have any space on our calendar for ourselves.
    Time to Let It Go
    We’re allowed to change. What worked at one stage of our life might not bring us joy in another. There are many things that occur in our lives that can cause us to shift our schedule, or our priorities, or to put goals on hold. They could be related to different stages of our career, our life, or those of our family, that require our attention. Although the years may pass, and things may change, sometimes we’re left with the mindset from a different time of our life.
    It might be time to let go of obligations that don’t fit what we want out of our life now. If we do a self-assessment, we might determine that we might be compromising aspects of our self-care. This could result in us pushing our bodies harder than we should to meet what we feel are our obligations day after day. We should be able to shift our perspective to feel joy, instead of guilt, when we reach for what we want instead of putting our needs on hold.
    Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
    It might feel as if we’re being selfish in making ourselves, and our lives, a priority. As nurses, we educate our clients about taking care of themselves with proper sleep and nutrition for better overall health and well-being, but we don’t always listen to our own advice. We know that listening to our body can help more than just us. When we work to meet our needs first, and our goals, we shouldn’t think of it as being selfish. It can help us be more productive, to be able to give more to others, and care for our patients easier.
    Self-care should extend to examining the goals we’ve put on hold for our personal and professional life. Even starting with small steps toward bigger goals and dreams can help refresh our mindset and help us remember what’s important.
    Gain a Positive Return on Investing in Yourself
    Don’t put your personal wellbeing on the back burner by always saying yes to things you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you purposefully, or that take time away from meeting your goals. You might find a much more positive return on investing in yourself.
    What Have You Put on Hold in Your Life?
  19. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or … Maybe never. Nurses are busy. As caregivers, we tend to put other’s needs in front of our own. We strive to do as much as we can, for as many people as possible, in the least amount of time. This can lead to missing breaks, staying for a second shift, or not taking that class we were thinking about. We might feel like we don’t have time to add one more thing, or we’re too tired to spend our personal time the way we’d planned.
    After a while, the tendency to put things important to us off until another day may become reflexive, and this behavior can leak into our personal life. When we keep putting our life on hold it could eventually affect our physical and mental health if we deprive ourselves of meeting our needs.
    Why Not Me, Why Not Now?
    I’ll Be Happy When…
    Why do we wait for happiness? Sometimes we associate a new job, finishing a class, losing weight, or a specific day of the week, as what’s standing in the way of happiness. But often once we reach that desired destination, we realize that it wasn’t the barrier. Or we discover that there’s something else we believe we should accomplish first before we can be happy. If we continue with this pattern of putting our happiness on hold, dissatisfaction may become our default emotion.
    I’ll Do That When I Have Time to…
    So far no one has had any more luck coercing Father Time to slow down than they have had in fooling Mother Nature. As much as we try, we all have the same 24 hours each day. The key is dividing up and prioritizing how we want to spend this time. If we feel as if we have no time to do what we want, or what we enjoy, it can take an emotional toll. Make living life now a priority, instead of waiting to enjoy life.
    They’ll Be Upset If I Don’t…
    Sometimes it’s difficult to say no when helping others can feel satisfying. It can provide us with a sense of pride and purpose. But if we spend too much time giving to others and neglecting ourselves it can build resentment. We can still be helpful to others, although if we always say, yes, and never say, no, we might never have any space on our calendar for ourselves.
    Time to Let It Go
    We’re allowed to change. What worked at one stage of our life might not bring us joy in another. There are many things that occur in our lives that can cause us to shift our schedule, or our priorities, or to put goals on hold. They could be related to different stages of our career, our life, or those of our family, that require our attention. Although the years may pass, and things may change, sometimes we’re left with the mindset from a different time of our life.
    It might be time to let go of obligations that don’t fit what we want out of our life now. If we do a self-assessment, we might determine that we might be compromising aspects of our self-care. This could result in us pushing our bodies harder than we should to meet what we feel are our obligations day after day. We should be able to shift our perspective to feel joy, instead of guilt, when we reach for what we want instead of putting our needs on hold.
    Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
    It might feel as if we’re being selfish in making ourselves, and our lives, a priority. As nurses, we educate our clients about taking care of themselves with proper sleep and nutrition for better overall health and well-being, but we don’t always listen to our own advice. We know that listening to our body can help more than just us. When we work to meet our needs first, and our goals, we shouldn’t think of it as being selfish. It can help us be more productive, to be able to give more to others, and care for our patients easier.
    Self-care should extend to examining the goals we’ve put on hold for our personal and professional life. Even starting with small steps toward bigger goals and dreams can help refresh our mindset and help us remember what’s important.
    Gain a Positive Return on Investing in Yourself
    Don’t put your personal wellbeing on the back burner by always saying yes to things you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you purposefully, or that take time away from meeting your goals. You might find a much more positive return on investing in yourself.
    What Have You Put on Hold in Your Life?
  20. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or … Maybe never. Nurses are busy. As caregivers, we tend to put other’s needs in front of our own. We strive to do as much as we can, for as many people as possible, in the least amount of time. This can lead to missing breaks, staying for a second shift, or not taking that class we were thinking about. We might feel like we don’t have time to add one more thing, or we’re too tired to spend our personal time the way we’d planned.
    After a while, the tendency to put things important to us off until another day may become reflexive, and this behavior can leak into our personal life. When we keep putting our life on hold it could eventually affect our physical and mental health if we deprive ourselves of meeting our needs.
    Why Not Me, Why Not Now?
    I’ll Be Happy When…
    Why do we wait for happiness? Sometimes we associate a new job, finishing a class, losing weight, or a specific day of the week, as what’s standing in the way of happiness. But often once we reach that desired destination, we realize that it wasn’t the barrier. Or we discover that there’s something else we believe we should accomplish first before we can be happy. If we continue with this pattern of putting our happiness on hold, dissatisfaction may become our default emotion.
    I’ll Do That When I Have Time to…
    So far no one has had any more luck coercing Father Time to slow down than they have had in fooling Mother Nature. As much as we try, we all have the same 24 hours each day. The key is dividing up and prioritizing how we want to spend this time. If we feel as if we have no time to do what we want, or what we enjoy, it can take an emotional toll. Make living life now a priority, instead of waiting to enjoy life.
    They’ll Be Upset If I Don’t…
    Sometimes it’s difficult to say no when helping others can feel satisfying. It can provide us with a sense of pride and purpose. But if we spend too much time giving to others and neglecting ourselves it can build resentment. We can still be helpful to others, although if we always say, yes, and never say, no, we might never have any space on our calendar for ourselves.
    Time to Let It Go
    We’re allowed to change. What worked at one stage of our life might not bring us joy in another. There are many things that occur in our lives that can cause us to shift our schedule, or our priorities, or to put goals on hold. They could be related to different stages of our career, our life, or those of our family, that require our attention. Although the years may pass, and things may change, sometimes we’re left with the mindset from a different time of our life.
    It might be time to let go of obligations that don’t fit what we want out of our life now. If we do a self-assessment, we might determine that we might be compromising aspects of our self-care. This could result in us pushing our bodies harder than we should to meet what we feel are our obligations day after day. We should be able to shift our perspective to feel joy, instead of guilt, when we reach for what we want instead of putting our needs on hold.
    Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
    It might feel as if we’re being selfish in making ourselves, and our lives, a priority. As nurses, we educate our clients about taking care of themselves with proper sleep and nutrition for better overall health and well-being, but we don’t always listen to our own advice. We know that listening to our body can help more than just us. When we work to meet our needs first, and our goals, we shouldn’t think of it as being selfish. It can help us be more productive, to be able to give more to others, and care for our patients easier.
    Self-care should extend to examining the goals we’ve put on hold for our personal and professional life. Even starting with small steps toward bigger goals and dreams can help refresh our mindset and help us remember what’s important.
    Gain a Positive Return on Investing in Yourself
    Don’t put your personal wellbeing on the back burner by always saying yes to things you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you purposefully, or that take time away from meeting your goals. You might find a much more positive return on investing in yourself.
    What Have You Put on Hold in Your Life?
  21. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or … Maybe never. Nurses are busy. As caregivers, we tend to put other’s needs in front of our own. We strive to do as much as we can, for as many people as possible, in the least amount of time. This can lead to missing breaks, staying for a second shift, or not taking that class we were thinking about. We might feel like we don’t have time to add one more thing, or we’re too tired to spend our personal time the way we’d planned.
    After a while, the tendency to put things important to us off until another day may become reflexive, and this behavior can leak into our personal life. When we keep putting our life on hold it could eventually affect our physical and mental health if we deprive ourselves of meeting our needs.
    Why Not Me, Why Not Now?
    I’ll Be Happy When…
    Why do we wait for happiness? Sometimes we associate a new job, finishing a class, losing weight, or a specific day of the week, as what’s standing in the way of happiness. But often once we reach that desired destination, we realize that it wasn’t the barrier. Or we discover that there’s something else we believe we should accomplish first before we can be happy. If we continue with this pattern of putting our happiness on hold, dissatisfaction may become our default emotion.
    I’ll Do That When I Have Time to…
    So far no one has had any more luck coercing Father Time to slow down than they have had in fooling Mother Nature. As much as we try, we all have the same 24 hours each day. The key is dividing up and prioritizing how we want to spend this time. If we feel as if we have no time to do what we want, or what we enjoy, it can take an emotional toll. Make living life now a priority, instead of waiting to enjoy life.
    They’ll Be Upset If I Don’t…
    Sometimes it’s difficult to say no when helping others can feel satisfying. It can provide us with a sense of pride and purpose. But if we spend too much time giving to others and neglecting ourselves it can build resentment. We can still be helpful to others, although if we always say, yes, and never say, no, we might never have any space on our calendar for ourselves.
    Time to Let It Go
    We’re allowed to change. What worked at one stage of our life might not bring us joy in another. There are many things that occur in our lives that can cause us to shift our schedule, or our priorities, or to put goals on hold. They could be related to different stages of our career, our life, or those of our family, that require our attention. Although the years may pass, and things may change, sometimes we’re left with the mindset from a different time of our life.
    It might be time to let go of obligations that don’t fit what we want out of our life now. If we do a self-assessment, we might determine that we might be compromising aspects of our self-care. This could result in us pushing our bodies harder than we should to meet what we feel are our obligations day after day. We should be able to shift our perspective to feel joy, instead of guilt, when we reach for what we want instead of putting our needs on hold.
    Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
    It might feel as if we’re being selfish in making ourselves, and our lives, a priority. As nurses, we educate our clients about taking care of themselves with proper sleep and nutrition for better overall health and well-being, but we don’t always listen to our own advice. We know that listening to our body can help more than just us. When we work to meet our needs first, and our goals, we shouldn’t think of it as being selfish. It can help us be more productive, to be able to give more to others, and care for our patients easier.
    Self-care should extend to examining the goals we’ve put on hold for our personal and professional life. Even starting with small steps toward bigger goals and dreams can help refresh our mindset and help us remember what’s important.
    Gain a Positive Return on Investing in Yourself
    Don’t put your personal wellbeing on the back burner by always saying yes to things you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you purposefully, or that take time away from meeting your goals. You might find a much more positive return on investing in yourself.
    What Have You Put on Hold in Your Life?
  22. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from Brenda F. Johnson in Congratulations! You're a New Nurse Leader…Now What?   
    Maybe you’ve been preparing for years for a leadership position through education and promotions, or perhaps the opportunity was thrust upon you. Regardless of the path you took to get here, you’re now in a nursing leadership position. Even if this position is within the organization you’ve worked within for years, your priorities have changed. In addition to being responsible to your patients, you’re now responsible for your employees, as well.
    Even if you know all the employees, and have worked beside them, they’ll have different expectations of you in your new role. Most leadership positions have tasks that require the skills of either a manager, a leader, or both. Only you can determine how to balance the key aspects of both roles and carve a successful path as a nurse leader.
    Manager versus Leader
    It’s not necessary to be assigned a leadership position to be a leader, and all nurse leaders aren’t successful in leading their employees. You can lead from wherever you are in the organization if you know how to project qualities and characteristics that inspire and influence others.
    Organizations need both managers and leaders. Both roles have different priorities, and sometimes you might need to combine the skills of each. You might be required to manage budgets, inventory, staffing, and quality improvement efforts, while a leader’s duties extend beyond required tasks. Leaders must consider their employees emotions, and recognize and respect them as individuals. To gain their trust and respect, leaders must ensure their employees feel appreciated, and that they believe their efforts make a difference in the organization.
    Qualities of a Good Leader
    Often nurses are promoted into leadership positions because they’re good clinicians, critical thinkers, or since they have the most experience. But perseverance doesn’t procure leadership skills, although that doesn’t mean you can’t work to acquire or enhance these skills.
    Consider what qualities you’ve sought, or admire, in a leader, and how you might work to develop, or model, those behaviors. A few desired qualities in a leader might include:
    Presenting as a role model in a professional, and ethical manner Being fair and consistent Taking responsibility, and being accountable for their own performance Keeping the bigger picture within view Displaying passion, vision, and focus A commitment to the organization, and their employees An empathetic and caring nature Excellent communication skills Seek a nurse mentor who will provide you with honest feedback to help you determine where you fall within this spectrum, and what skills you should strive to improve. Listen to their feedback with the understanding that acquiring a nurse leadership position is only the beginning, to succeed it’s important to continue with professional development and keep abreast on potential organizational challenges.
    Initial Efforts Reap Rewards
    Without the heart and soul of a leader, you can be in a leadership role but not be successful in leading. Inspired and motivated followers who support their leader are essential to accomplishing organizational goals. Whether you’re new to the organization or adjusting to a role in which you’re now supervising your coworkers and friends, taking the time to listen, rather than making assumptions on what you believe needs done, can assist in achieving success.
    Initially, most new leaders can benefit from spending more time listening, than delegating tasks and acting. Take advantage of the knowledge and expertise at your fingertips, and share your expectations, as well as clarify what your employees expect from you in this new role. A leader is one person, it requires communicating and collaborating with your team, and addressing individual concerns, to earn the respect and support essential to achieving success.
    Find Your Peers
    It can be lonely at the top when you realize that although you can still be friendly, and even friends with your employees, you have a new level of responsibility and often have access to confidential information that you can’t share. It’s helpful to develop a social network, and professional relationships, with other nurse leaders to reduce feelings of isolation.
    Broadening your network can allow you to establish mutually beneficial relationships in which you can share best practices, knowledge, and validate that you may face the same challenges. If you’re concerned about asking for advice, or sharing experiences, with local competitors, there may be opportunities to establish trustworthy relationships online where you’re not in direct competition. These can be acquired through professional networks, or on social networks such as LinkedIn.
    New Challenges and Rewards
    A new nurse leader can be presented with many challenges. But there are also opportunities to reap rewards and gain professional satisfaction from having the chance to make a difference in your organization, and for your employees.
  23. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or … Maybe never. Nurses are busy. As caregivers, we tend to put other’s needs in front of our own. We strive to do as much as we can, for as many people as possible, in the least amount of time. This can lead to missing breaks, staying for a second shift, or not taking that class we were thinking about. We might feel like we don’t have time to add one more thing, or we’re too tired to spend our personal time the way we’d planned.
    After a while, the tendency to put things important to us off until another day may become reflexive, and this behavior can leak into our personal life. When we keep putting our life on hold it could eventually affect our physical and mental health if we deprive ourselves of meeting our needs.
    Why Not Me, Why Not Now?
    I’ll Be Happy When…
    Why do we wait for happiness? Sometimes we associate a new job, finishing a class, losing weight, or a specific day of the week, as what’s standing in the way of happiness. But often once we reach that desired destination, we realize that it wasn’t the barrier. Or we discover that there’s something else we believe we should accomplish first before we can be happy. If we continue with this pattern of putting our happiness on hold, dissatisfaction may become our default emotion.
    I’ll Do That When I Have Time to…
    So far no one has had any more luck coercing Father Time to slow down than they have had in fooling Mother Nature. As much as we try, we all have the same 24 hours each day. The key is dividing up and prioritizing how we want to spend this time. If we feel as if we have no time to do what we want, or what we enjoy, it can take an emotional toll. Make living life now a priority, instead of waiting to enjoy life.
    They’ll Be Upset If I Don’t…
    Sometimes it’s difficult to say no when helping others can feel satisfying. It can provide us with a sense of pride and purpose. But if we spend too much time giving to others and neglecting ourselves it can build resentment. We can still be helpful to others, although if we always say, yes, and never say, no, we might never have any space on our calendar for ourselves.
    Time to Let It Go
    We’re allowed to change. What worked at one stage of our life might not bring us joy in another. There are many things that occur in our lives that can cause us to shift our schedule, or our priorities, or to put goals on hold. They could be related to different stages of our career, our life, or those of our family, that require our attention. Although the years may pass, and things may change, sometimes we’re left with the mindset from a different time of our life.
    It might be time to let go of obligations that don’t fit what we want out of our life now. If we do a self-assessment, we might determine that we might be compromising aspects of our self-care. This could result in us pushing our bodies harder than we should to meet what we feel are our obligations day after day. We should be able to shift our perspective to feel joy, instead of guilt, when we reach for what we want instead of putting our needs on hold.
    Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
    It might feel as if we’re being selfish in making ourselves, and our lives, a priority. As nurses, we educate our clients about taking care of themselves with proper sleep and nutrition for better overall health and well-being, but we don’t always listen to our own advice. We know that listening to our body can help more than just us. When we work to meet our needs first, and our goals, we shouldn’t think of it as being selfish. It can help us be more productive, to be able to give more to others, and care for our patients easier.
    Self-care should extend to examining the goals we’ve put on hold for our personal and professional life. Even starting with small steps toward bigger goals and dreams can help refresh our mindset and help us remember what’s important.
    Gain a Positive Return on Investing in Yourself
    Don’t put your personal wellbeing on the back burner by always saying yes to things you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you purposefully, or that take time away from meeting your goals. You might find a much more positive return on investing in yourself.
    What Have You Put on Hold in Your Life?
  24. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or … Maybe never. Nurses are busy. As caregivers, we tend to put other’s needs in front of our own. We strive to do as much as we can, for as many people as possible, in the least amount of time. This can lead to missing breaks, staying for a second shift, or not taking that class we were thinking about. We might feel like we don’t have time to add one more thing, or we’re too tired to spend our personal time the way we’d planned.
    After a while, the tendency to put things important to us off until another day may become reflexive, and this behavior can leak into our personal life. When we keep putting our life on hold it could eventually affect our physical and mental health if we deprive ourselves of meeting our needs.
    Why Not Me, Why Not Now?
    I’ll Be Happy When…
    Why do we wait for happiness? Sometimes we associate a new job, finishing a class, losing weight, or a specific day of the week, as what’s standing in the way of happiness. But often once we reach that desired destination, we realize that it wasn’t the barrier. Or we discover that there’s something else we believe we should accomplish first before we can be happy. If we continue with this pattern of putting our happiness on hold, dissatisfaction may become our default emotion.
    I’ll Do That When I Have Time to…
    So far no one has had any more luck coercing Father Time to slow down than they have had in fooling Mother Nature. As much as we try, we all have the same 24 hours each day. The key is dividing up and prioritizing how we want to spend this time. If we feel as if we have no time to do what we want, or what we enjoy, it can take an emotional toll. Make living life now a priority, instead of waiting to enjoy life.
    They’ll Be Upset If I Don’t…
    Sometimes it’s difficult to say no when helping others can feel satisfying. It can provide us with a sense of pride and purpose. But if we spend too much time giving to others and neglecting ourselves it can build resentment. We can still be helpful to others, although if we always say, yes, and never say, no, we might never have any space on our calendar for ourselves.
    Time to Let It Go
    We’re allowed to change. What worked at one stage of our life might not bring us joy in another. There are many things that occur in our lives that can cause us to shift our schedule, or our priorities, or to put goals on hold. They could be related to different stages of our career, our life, or those of our family, that require our attention. Although the years may pass, and things may change, sometimes we’re left with the mindset from a different time of our life.
    It might be time to let go of obligations that don’t fit what we want out of our life now. If we do a self-assessment, we might determine that we might be compromising aspects of our self-care. This could result in us pushing our bodies harder than we should to meet what we feel are our obligations day after day. We should be able to shift our perspective to feel joy, instead of guilt, when we reach for what we want instead of putting our needs on hold.
    Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
    It might feel as if we’re being selfish in making ourselves, and our lives, a priority. As nurses, we educate our clients about taking care of themselves with proper sleep and nutrition for better overall health and well-being, but we don’t always listen to our own advice. We know that listening to our body can help more than just us. When we work to meet our needs first, and our goals, we shouldn’t think of it as being selfish. It can help us be more productive, to be able to give more to others, and care for our patients easier.
    Self-care should extend to examining the goals we’ve put on hold for our personal and professional life. Even starting with small steps toward bigger goals and dreams can help refresh our mindset and help us remember what’s important.
    Gain a Positive Return on Investing in Yourself
    Don’t put your personal wellbeing on the back burner by always saying yes to things you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you purposefully, or that take time away from meeting your goals. You might find a much more positive return on investing in yourself.
    What Have You Put on Hold in Your Life?
  25. Like
    Maureen Bonatch MSN got a reaction from sirI, MSN, APRN, NP in Stop Putting Your Life on Hold   
    Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or … Maybe never. Nurses are busy. As caregivers, we tend to put other’s needs in front of our own. We strive to do as much as we can, for as many people as possible, in the least amount of time. This can lead to missing breaks, staying for a second shift, or not taking that class we were thinking about. We might feel like we don’t have time to add one more thing, or we’re too tired to spend our personal time the way we’d planned.
    After a while, the tendency to put things important to us off until another day may become reflexive, and this behavior can leak into our personal life. When we keep putting our life on hold it could eventually affect our physical and mental health if we deprive ourselves of meeting our needs.
    Why Not Me, Why Not Now?
    I’ll Be Happy When…
    Why do we wait for happiness? Sometimes we associate a new job, finishing a class, losing weight, or a specific day of the week, as what’s standing in the way of happiness. But often once we reach that desired destination, we realize that it wasn’t the barrier. Or we discover that there’s something else we believe we should accomplish first before we can be happy. If we continue with this pattern of putting our happiness on hold, dissatisfaction may become our default emotion.
    I’ll Do That When I Have Time to…
    So far no one has had any more luck coercing Father Time to slow down than they have had in fooling Mother Nature. As much as we try, we all have the same 24 hours each day. The key is dividing up and prioritizing how we want to spend this time. If we feel as if we have no time to do what we want, or what we enjoy, it can take an emotional toll. Make living life now a priority, instead of waiting to enjoy life.
    They’ll Be Upset If I Don’t…
    Sometimes it’s difficult to say no when helping others can feel satisfying. It can provide us with a sense of pride and purpose. But if we spend too much time giving to others and neglecting ourselves it can build resentment. We can still be helpful to others, although if we always say, yes, and never say, no, we might never have any space on our calendar for ourselves.
    Time to Let It Go
    We’re allowed to change. What worked at one stage of our life might not bring us joy in another. There are many things that occur in our lives that can cause us to shift our schedule, or our priorities, or to put goals on hold. They could be related to different stages of our career, our life, or those of our family, that require our attention. Although the years may pass, and things may change, sometimes we’re left with the mindset from a different time of our life.
    It might be time to let go of obligations that don’t fit what we want out of our life now. If we do a self-assessment, we might determine that we might be compromising aspects of our self-care. This could result in us pushing our bodies harder than we should to meet what we feel are our obligations day after day. We should be able to shift our perspective to feel joy, instead of guilt, when we reach for what we want instead of putting our needs on hold.
    Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
    It might feel as if we’re being selfish in making ourselves, and our lives, a priority. As nurses, we educate our clients about taking care of themselves with proper sleep and nutrition for better overall health and well-being, but we don’t always listen to our own advice. We know that listening to our body can help more than just us. When we work to meet our needs first, and our goals, we shouldn’t think of it as being selfish. It can help us be more productive, to be able to give more to others, and care for our patients easier.
    Self-care should extend to examining the goals we’ve put on hold for our personal and professional life. Even starting with small steps toward bigger goals and dreams can help refresh our mindset and help us remember what’s important.
    Gain a Positive Return on Investing in Yourself
    Don’t put your personal wellbeing on the back burner by always saying yes to things you don’t want to do, or that don’t serve you purposefully, or that take time away from meeting your goals. You might find a much more positive return on investing in yourself.
    What Have You Put on Hold in Your Life?
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