Jump to content
krisssy

krisssy

Member
  • Joined:
  • Last Visited:
  • 585

    Content

  • 0

    Articles

  • 9,386

    Visitors

  • 0

    Followers

  • 0

    Points

krisssy's Latest Activity

  1. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    lol You know me so well-that's exactly what it was- a fight with my husband! Krisssy
  2. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    Yes I believe you, and thank you. One more question-did you find that stress made the pain much worse? Something very stressful has been going on the last two days, and the pain has become almost unbearable even with the narcotics.
  3. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    I am confused. If the Percoset causes the pain, why did I have it for 6 months without any narcotics? Why did you have your pain before you started the narcotics? Krisssy
  4. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    Hi Southernbee Girl and Everyone else, Yes I have tried many other means of dealing with the IC since I got it in Aug. 2008. I have actually tried everything my specialist (actually a famous IC specialist) gave me which was Valium, which worked for about a month, and Elavil, which also worked for about a month. My Dr. doesn't believe in hydrodistention. He hasn't offered Elmiron. Actually, he hasn't definetely diagnosed it. He says my pain is either IC, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction or a nerve pain. He said all three would be treated the same way, so it is irrelevant whether it is IC or not. On my own, I tried physical therapy. It made it worse. Then I went back to the rehab I was at a few years ago when I also got addicted to Percoset and Colonopin after abdominal surgery. They set me up with a pain specialist who had been a pain patient there 4 years ago, recovered and lives with his back pain. He suggested many means of dealing with the pain including meditation, massage therapy etc. He was so wonderful that I decided to check back into the rehab for a 10 day detox. It was a disaster. I relapsed almost immediately after the discharge and ended up in the ER where they gave me Percoset and Dilaudid. After that, I just gave up and have been taking the Percoset and Valium which does relieve the pain. I started taking the Valium again, because another Dr. ( a urogynecologist who diagnosed my rectocele) said if you stop Valium and then start it again, it helps again??? I am embarrassed to go back to the meetings as I keep relapsing ,and I feel like too much of a failure to go to meetings or call anyone. I think you may be right that this is a relapse. When I am upset, like having a fight with my husband, I do look forward to taking the pills. I hate being addicted so much that I would go back to the rehab for the 30 day program again, but I am too afraid of this pain. I have a lot of scheduled doctor appointments to try to see if I can find anyone to help me. If I find someone who helps, I will probably have to get detoxed in the rehab again. I am incapable of getting off addictive meds myself. You are absolutely right about the alcohol. During my divorce about 5 years ago, I was drinking like a fish. I have not touched alcohol in a year. June 7th will be my alcohol anniversary. My group wants me to celebrate, but that would be dishonest for me, and I won't do it. Right now, there is nothing I can do except go to all these doctors and try to get some help. Thank you for understanding this disease so well and for trying to help me be honest about it. We all know how cunning and powerful this disease is. Krisssy
  5. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    I think, because of how I worded this, you misunderstood what I said. I meant that I was HAPPY that the Oxytcontin did NOT make me high like the Percoset did, BUT I am upset, because here I find a medication which does not make me high, but it does NOT take the pain away. I have Interstitial Cystitis and a Rectocele, and I am in SEVERE pain all the time. One can never feel what another feels as far as pain goes. I am not a drug seeker. I am in PAIN. I feel that I have no support from AA, because most of the people are worried about not drinking, which is not a problem for me. I never drink. They simply do not understand about pain, because they have never lived with chronic pain which I have been living with for 9 months day in and day out. Interstitial cystitis is a VERY painful condition which has no cure. I am not offended by your post. I know you mean well and just didn't understand what I was trying to write. By the way, why is this your last post? krisssy
  6. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    What does TNPAP stand for? How do I get in touch with them? Krisssy
  7. krisssy

    Dilaudid question - Personal Opinion

    I am a nurse, and I have been a patient. Once a nurse refused to give me pain meds for an intestinal obstruction. She was dismissed by me as my nurse and reported to the Director of Nursing. Of course my doctor ignored her. BUT, if he didn't, he would be gone too. Patients need family and friends to be advocates for them if they are too ill to advocate for themselves. There are enough doctors and nurses out there who have the empathy to help a person with pain as well as with their medical and/or surgical needs. As a nurse, I am always an advocate for my patient. If he or she says they are in pain, they are in pain- period. I follow the doctor's orders for pain medication and tell the Dr. if the patient is not responding to the pain meds and is suffering. I would never ignore a patient's cry for help. Even if the patient was an addict and crying for the pain of withdrawal, he or she still deserves medical help for his disease too-the disease of addiction. As a student, not every nurse or Dr. is going to be one you can learn from. I remember a nurse telling me that it wasn't necessary to wear gloves when bathing apatient with an infection. I insisted on wearing my gloves. A few hours later, they discovered she had MRSA! I would suggest that you go to your instructor, as you described, if you feel a nurse is being uncaring or unprofessional. A good instructor will know how to handle it. Krisssy RN
  8. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    Thank you Jack. Yes, if you could find me additional information, I would greatly appreciate it. I would love to know how to find an addictionologist/pain Dr. That would be perfect for me. I recently went to a pain Dr. who prescribed long acting Oxycontin `10 mg. with one 5mg. Percoset every hour until pain is gone up to 8 Percoset a day. I find that the Oxycontin is not helping at all, and I have to take 2 Percoset together for breakthrough pain to get any relief. In the end, I am now taking more Opiates than I was before I went to him which was two percosets 5/325 3x a day. So this is not good. I know I am an Opiate addict, and I am very worried. If you can be of any help in finding me the kind of dr. you mentioned, I would be eternally grateful. Also, if I start going back to meetings, which i miss so much, should I share what i am taking? Thank you so much. Krisssy
  9. krisssy

    Drug addicted nurses

    I greatly appreciate what you have written, and I agree completely. It's about time the moral stigmas get lifted, and addicts get the help they need to treat their disease like anyone else with any disease. It is just another form of prejudice in my opinion. Thank you again for saying what I believe and know to be true. I have not been working for some time, but I want to go back to work as an RN in this field. I want to do anything I can to help. Krisssy
  10. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    Oh thank you so much for your support. Nobody from my support group calls me anymore. It feels like they all just don't know what to do to help me. I went to a pain dr. and told him the whole story. He said that it would be better to take Oxycontin 10mg. 2x a day with Percoset as just a breakthrough medication. I tried it today, and the Oxycontin did not work at all. The pain is back after being gone from 6 Percoset a day for the last few weeks. I will call him on Mon. Needless to say I am very disappointed, because the Oxycontin did not make me high, and it did not have the ups and down from the Percoset. BUT, the pain is back. So what is the use of taking it if the pain is back. Maybe it has something to do with the tylenol. I don't know. I wanted to avoid the tylenol, as I though that was useless. I am totoally confused now. Thanks for your suppoort. Krisssy
  11. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    That's interesting. Why would tylenol cause one to get high? Krisssy
  12. krisssy

    Dilaudid question - Personal Opinion

    I have been suffering from chronic severe pain from Interstitial Cystitis. I have tried Torodol, Lyrica, Elavil, NSAIDs etc. for the last 9 months. Nothing has worked, and I have been debilitated for 9 months. I have finally been put on Oxycontin 10mg. every 12 hours, and my pain is gone. I am afraid of addiction, BUT I do NOT believe in suffering either. If I have to be detoxed when I go into remission if I do, I will do what I have to do. Meanwhile, I am able to enjoy my life again after 9 months of severe pain and suffering. It does not alter my mood at all. Krisssy
  13. krisssy

    Dilaudid question - Personal Opinion

    I had an experience as a patient that this post makes me think of. I had an intestinal obstruction requiring surgery. I had been in the ER all day receiving morphine IV for pain. When they transferred me to a floor, they stopped the pain medication, and I was certainly a 10 in pain. I asked the nurse for my pain medication. Her answer was that there was no order. I told her that I had been receiving morphine all day, and her answer was, "Charts don't lie, and there is nothing on your chart saying you were receiving any pain medication." She left me screaming in pain. My husband came a few minutes later, and I told him. Well, he started screaming so loud that my surgeon was called, and of course he verified my pain medication to be given immediately. This same nurse angrily gave me a shot which left me black and blue for months. I went to surgery, requested to be on a different floor after ICU, and we went to the director of nurses and had the nurse reported. The director of nursing came to me to personally apologize. The lesson from this is to listen to your patient and look at them. If the chart doesn't match what they are telling you, for God's sake check it out-call the Dr. Never leave a patient crying in pain. Like other's have said, it is not our job to decide who needs pain medication and who does not. As far as addiction, it is certainly not our job to withold an addicts pain medication. An addict is a sick person with a disease. They deserve to be treated with the same care as we would give any other patient. Who are we to discriminate between diseases? We need to follow the doctor's orders and hope that our patient with the disease of addiction will get the help he needs in a hospital or rehab that treats this disease. We are certainly NOT going to cure an addict by witholding his pain medication. We may even cause his death. Krisssy
  14. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    i would like to thank all of you for taking the time to answer my questions and help me plus share your experience , strength and hope. to answer your questions and explain more thoroughly: i have been taking my medication exactly as prescribed by my urologist. i forgot to mention that i also have been given valium as a muscle relaxant 2mg. 3x a day. i have never taken more than prescribed. i became very worried about getting addicted again, so i put myself back in the original rehab for a 10 day evaluation. they took me off both drugs with a methadone and ativan detox. when i finished the detox, they put me on baclofan and lyrica. within a few days, the pain was so bad that, after trying a shot of torodol with no relief, my husband came and took me to the er where they had to give me dilaudid. even that didn't take away the pain, just put me to sleep. i came home and still tried to be off the addictive drugs, but i was in agony. with my family's knowledge and approval, i am now taking percoset and valium exactly as prescribed 3x a day. the pain is now under control. i have to admit that i never told the urologist about my addiction problem for fear of him not giving me the medications i need. i have become so frightened of this pain and being unable to control it. thurs. i have an appt. with a pain specialist who has helped someone else i know who has interstitial cystitis. he has helped her enough that she is able to go back to medical school on the pain meds he prescribes. i know i should tell him about the addiction disease i have, but how can i take a chance of him not treating me? i want to go to meetings, but i am afraid to drive on pain meds. i want to work in the rehab, but they would never hire me using addictive drugs. i am not well enough to do regular hospital nursing care with lifting etc. the rehab job involves mostly giving out meds, checking blood pressures and transferring orders onto the computer which i could handle easily. the bottom line is that while using these addictive meds, i do not feel safe driving or working. i am literally confined to my home unless i go out with my husband, and i do do that. not taking the meds confines me to home because i am in too much pain to drive or work or even go out with my husband. jackstem, i will read all the websites you sent me and get back to you-maybe pm you. thank you. hnm2viking-i am on cymbalta, and i have tried elavil. the elavil helped for a few weeks. after the gynecologist examined me, the pain came back and has not gone away again since dec. i am also probably facing a rectocele surgery which will require more pain killers. btw, do you know of nurses who work and drive while taking pain killers by legal prescription for real pain issues? thank you all again. krisssy
  15. krisssy

    Losing Hope for Recovery

    First let me say that I am NOT working at this time. Two years ago I entered a rehab and stayed for a month recovering from pain pill addiction after surgery. After being sober for two years, I had decided to go back to nursing in the field of recovery working at a rehab. Suddenly one day I felt this incredible urge to urinate, and it was downhill after that. After being seen and tested by numerous urologisrts, urogynecologists, colon rectal surgeons and gastroenterologists, I have found out that I have Interstitial Cystitis and a rectocele which will probably require surgery. After 6 months of unrelenting pain, I relapsed on Percosets again. Without the pain pills, I cannot function at all. I do not feel that I can go to meetings not sober. My AA friends think I should celebrate my anniversary in June, because I have not had a drink. Drinking was never my real problem. I am feeling depressed, as I miss my meetings, I know I will never work again, and I feel like all my hard work and aspirations for success are down the drain. I simply cannot live with the pain of this illness. I have had no choice but to go back on the pain killers. I tried Lyrica first with no response. How does one stay sober from pain pills when they are always in pain? I have seen many people celebrate anniversary after anniversary because they don't drink. They take pain pills for pain and don't see that as a relapse. I can't see it that way, as alcohol was never my drug of choice. I also have the belief that alcohol is just drugs in a liquid form. I cannot resolve this situation at this time. I am thankful for an understanding and loving husband and children who I have been completely honest with.. I have learned so much from AA about living and changing my thoughts to ones of honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. I am so disappointed that I cannot go back to nursing, and I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all and ask if anyone has ever experienced this situation. Krisssy RN
  16. krisssy

    Anyone start their career late in Life?

    thank you for your support. i needed to hear that today. krisssy