Those friends who are now in nursing school

  1. I wonder if anyone here has had the same experience as I have been having. I have quite a few friends whom I had taken all of my nursing pre-req's with who have entered the nursing program before I have. I am still finishing up one last pre-req. These friends whom I have been fairly close to are now completely unaware of my presence. I understand nursing school is intense (especially here considering we have an accelerated BSN program), but they are completely cold toward me. Everyone tells me of this "attitude" that students get when they enter the nursing program. I think my friends have caught this "attitude" and don't like related to those "non nursing students". Has anyone had experiences with this, or perhaps am I being over dramatic?
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    About MikeyJ

    Joined: Jul '05; Posts: 1,134; Likes: 438
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    Specialty: Peds, PICU, Home health, Dialysis

    18 Comments

  3. by   suzy253
    Are they being 'cold' or just overwhelmingly busy with school? I know that when I started nursing school, I lived, breathed, ate school. It took up all of my time. Some friends I didn't get to talk to for months except for the occasional phone call (maybe). I basically had no life--no time for anything but school.
  4. by   MikeyJ
    Quote from suzy253
    Are they being 'cold' or just overwhelmingly busy with school? I know that when I started nursing school, I lived, breathed, ate school. It took up all of my time. Some friends I didn't get to talk to for months except for the occasional phone call (maybe). I basically had no life--no time for anything but school.
    There are a few that are just very busy and I completely understand that. There are a few (2 in particular) that literally don't really give me the time of day. And when I do encounter them, they seem to just give me the time of day to be courteous to me, but you can tell how disinterested they are. I was just being curious to see if anyone else had encountered this problem. I may perhaps be completely wrong, and they are acting this way because of how busy they are.
  5. by   SummerGarden
    Quote from sistermike
    There are a few that are just very busy and I completely understand that. There are a few (2 in particular) that literally don't really give me the time of day. And when I do encounter them, they seem to just give me the time of day to be courteous to me, but you can tell how disinterested they are. I was just being curious to see if anyone else had encountered this problem. I may perhaps be completely wrong, and they are acting this way because of how busy they are.
    Hi, I think I know what you are talking about. I have not spoken to anyone who has started clinical courses this semester until I was accepted. I know this sounds like I am confirming the idea that nursing students have an "attitude" that is negative but that is not what I am trying to do.

    The attitude of which you speak is based on the fact that nursing students have very little time and they are afraid that anyone outside of nursing school will suck up his/her time!!! In addition, nursing students understand nursing students. Furthermore, the attitude nursing students develop is not one of superiority. It is one of kinship forged and accomplishments made in a horrid boot camp like environment. I learned these concepts from Registered Nurses.

    Recently, my Director informed us that the most supportive people the Director has ever had were other nursing students met while obtaining multiple degrees. My Director can barely remember anyone else before nursing school and is not close to many after nursing school. That says a lot to me!!!

    Therefore, I think your friends do not have time to continue a frienship with you right now. Do not take it personally because it is not personal. Once you belong to the club they will feel safe around you again. Right now they are probably afraid you won't understand them and you will suck up his/her time. I hope that helps.... :spin:
    Last edit by SummerGarden on Nov 1, '06
  6. by   catzy5
    Quote from suzy253
    Are they being 'cold' or just overwhelmingly busy with school? I know that when I started nursing school, I lived, breathed, ate school. It took up all of my time. Some friends I didn't get to talk to for months except for the occasional phone call (maybe). I basically had no life--no time for anything but school.

    well I am not in nursing school yet but my "non school" friends I feel believe this about me, I have told everyone the only thing that has suffered is my friendships I apologise to them often but I just don't have the time for anything outside of school and family . I feel awful but if they are my real friends they will understand if not well then I will make new ones.
  7. by   KungFuFtr
    Quote from sistermike
    I wonder if anyone here has had the same experience as I have been having. I have quite a few friends whom I had taken all of my nursing pre-req's with who have entered the nursing program before I have. I am still finishing up one last pre-req. These friends whom I have been fairly close to are now completely unaware of my presence. I understand nursing school is intense (especially here considering we have an accelerated BSN program), but they are completely cold toward me. Everyone tells me of this "attitude" that students get when they enter the nursing program. I think my friends have caught this "attitude" and don't like related to those "non nursing students". Has anyone had experiences with this, or perhaps am I being over dramatic?
    I've had experience with this. I sat next to someone for two semesters of A&P, we studied together (I tutored her), talked on the phone etc. We were both in relationships and kept it a friend-student-study buddy relationship. Well...after the classes were over, she was too busy to talk or email me. Cera cera...

    Next case, me and my pre reqs. I guess I was the one who was too busy studying. My girlfriend remarks "It's all about you!" Did I say girlfriend? I mean ex-girlfriend. Cera cera...
  8. by   lisabeth
    That is ashame. Good friends are too hard to find. I am determined not to lose touch with any of my friends. I may not have a lot of time when I get in, but it is not too hard to have an occasional conversation on the phone, email, and hey, everyone has to eat. An occasional dinner isnt too hard to find time for.
  9. by   catzy5
    Quote from TexasAngel
    That is ashame. Good friends are too hard to find. I am determined not to lose touch with any of my friends. I may not have a lot of time when I get in, but it is not too hard to have an occasional conversation on the phone, email, and hey, everyone has to eat. An occasional dinner isnt too hard to find time for.

    I know I think that too but whatever time I take to be with friends takes away from my family and they are by far more important to me. I always feel guilty about my friends but I have found my true friends work around me, and understand that i need to devote my free time to studying and taking care of my family. My best friend knows I like to take my dog out for a walk daily so it is our oppurtunity to be together she makes the effort to be where I am going to be. As far as dinners and things well there are always vacations and summer, heck I don't even get to have dinner out with my husband LOL.
  10. by   tigress_8207
    I know exactly what you are talking about.I had one friend like that.we did prereqs together but because she had others before she got accepted while i'm still finishing up.When i call her she always says she busy she'll call back and never does.Needless to say i stopped calling her.That was 3yrs ago.Can't believe how some people can be so arrogant.I understand nursing school takes a lot but that doesn't mean you can't talk to a friend for two minutes or call just to say hi.Even if it's once a month or even a year.At least they would understand that instead of acting like your better and they don't exist anymore.I hope i never get like that.As a matter of fact i won't get like that cause i'd be so excited to call up my friends and tell them about my day they would have to tell me to stop calling.Lol.
  11. by   tigress_8207
    By the way its not just those who are at ns it the ones at university too.Had another one that was in the same class with us.We all use to hang together.Now she passes me like an exam.The other day she stood right in front of me on the opposite side of the road and stared right through me like i wasn't even there.I couldn't believe it.Guess you know who your real friends are.
  12. by   kharing
    Gosh. I'm a soooo guilty of doing this! The reason? I can't carry other students to the Boards. I no longer have the time or the patience to listen to the handful of students that I considered "friends" in the prereq portion of school. It was fine during A&P - didn't make or break my grade. I've disassociated from the ones that gossip, don't prepare and waste valuable class/clinical time - then expect me to tutor them or worse give them answers. I just can't be bothered anymore and I've worked too long and hard. Let it be known, these same students have had to repeat SEVERAL courses before being accepted into the program.
  13. by   Megsd
    Quote from tigress_8207
    I know exactly what you are talking about.I had one friend like that.we did prereqs together but because she had others before she got accepted while i'm still finishing up.When i call her she always says she busy she'll call back and never does.Needless to say i stopped calling her.That was 3yrs ago.Can't believe how some people can be so arrogant.I understand nursing school takes a lot but that doesn't mean you can't talk to a friend for two minutes or call just to say hi.Even if it's once a month or even a year.At least they would understand that instead of acting like your better and they don't exist anymore.I hope i never get like that.As a matter of fact i won't get like that cause i'd be so excited to call up my friends and tell them about my day they would have to tell me to stop calling.Lol.
    I tend to be guilty of this but I really don't feel like I'm being arrogant... I'm just being an airhead, more than anything. On Monday I went all the way to school and forgot my entire backpack. On Tuesday I had an assessment checkoff and forgot my stethoscope. This morning a classmate actually missed our exam because she came to class without her backpack and her reading glasses, so she couldn't even see the test. I can barely remember to put my shoes on, let alone remember to call someone back. I do try to keep in touch with my friends (mostly through email because frankly, it's quicker) but it's really, really hard. I find myself utterly consumed by school. If my SO and I didn't live together I doubt I would see him much at all. If someone calls me, I try to call them back, but sometimes if I'm in the middle of studying and I'm on a roll, I really don't want to be interrupted. I will put calling them back on my todo list, but sometimes it doesn't always work out. I can only hope that my friends understand what I'm going through and don't take it personally because honestly, it's not personal at all.

    My stepmom had a friend who went back to nursing school and before she started, she sent an email to her friends and family that basically said "I start nursing school tomorrow, so don't expect to hear from me for the next 2 years. Bye!" And luckily when she got done, she did contact everyone again to let them know she survived nursing school and was able to pick up her friendships where she left off.

    It could very well be that your friend WAS arrogant and blew you off because you weren't in her nursing class, but it could also be that every once in a while she thinks "Man, I really need to call tigress..." and just can't get to it. Or maybe she feels that it's YOU who've given up on HER and she doesn't have time to make the effort to rekindle a friendship. At least consider cutting her, and the rest of us, a little bit of slack.
  14. by   MikeyJ
    Quote from kharing
    Gosh. I'm a soooo guilty of doing this! The reason? I can't carry other students to the Boards. I no longer have the time or the patience to listen to the handful of students that I considered "friends" in the prereq portion of school. It was fine during A&P - didn't make or break my grade. I've disassociated from the ones that gossip, don't prepare and waste valuable class/clinical time - then expect me to tutor them or worse give them answers. I just can't be bothered anymore and I've worked too long and hard. Let it be known, these same students have had to repeat SEVERAL courses before being accepted into the program.
    I completely understand your reasoning, Kharing. I also try to distant myself from those that bring me down, or those that just don't care about school in general and have to constantly repeat their courses.
    In my case, it is the complete opposite. The only reason I am not joining my friends in their 1st semester of nursing school is because I simply have one pre-req that I couldn't fit in anywhere else, thus I had to wait an extra semester. I did better than most of my friends in my pre-req class, so they aren't distancing themselves because I would in some way "bring them down." They just simply distance themselves from me and don't really give me the time of day. One of them doesn't even have the decency to email me back. I have emailed her a few times since the semester began asking her how she likes nursing school and how she is managing the stress in her life. However, she has never emailed me back. I guess I have lost some friends and hopefully when I enter the program, I will have the generosity to say "hi, how are you" to those students whom I have spent time with before nursing school.

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