Mommy issues of the other kind ...

  1. I'm in the midst of knocking out pre-reqs. Thus far I've managed to take only online or Saturday morning courses to minimize the time away from my family (I work fulltime, have a long commute, married w/ 10yo DD). To take Micro I have to do 2 nights a week and my family is supportive. Last night was my first class. I left home at 5:10am as usual, went to work, then straight to my 6:20pm class, then home where I arrived at 9:30pm. The extent of my time with my daughter was waking her for a sleepy goodbye kiss in the morning (she then went back to sleep) and waking her again for a sleepy goodnight kiss when I got home. Granted I was exhausted after the long day, but I went to bed feeling like the worst mother in the world I know all the rationalizations - I AM doing this to make a better life for our family, I AM modeling the importance of education, I AM showing by example that good things require work - but I still feel like a horrible mother.
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    Joined: Feb '03; Posts: 157; Likes: 1
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    12 Comments

  3. by   AmyB
    One thing I learned while in nursing school with kids (aged 5, 6, and 7 when I began) is that kids are great. They can be very understanding. You are providing them with an excellent example of the importance of education and hard work. This lesson will not be lost as they continue throughout childhood and into adulthood. I, too, had moments where I felt like a complete failure as a mother. Then my kids would say or do something that made all the effort worthwhile.

    I always tried to remind myself that I can do anything for any given length of time - one semester of algebra (I hate math), one clinical of nights (who will keep my kids?), or two years of killing myself to make it through nursing school and achieve the goals I had set out for myself.

    You can do this and you and your family will be better for your efforts. Best wishes!
  4. by   babynurselsa
    Make the most of the time that you do have together. make some special just you and her time.
  5. by   DaughterofRuth
    That's how I got through last semester - a day at a time! And while I have class M & W, T nights are for snuggling on the couch with my girl. I'm really looking forward to it tonight.
  6. by   lisabeth
    I know that would be so hard!!! I dont know how people work and go to school along with a family. I am very thankful I dont have to work. I will work on weekends after I take my CNA class and will work the rest of the way through school probably, but there is a big difference in working full time and working just on weekends.
    I wish you the best. As long as you have talked to your daughter about what you are doing, I am sure she will understand.
    I am so thankful my daughter understands my limit on time doing things we used to do, and our finacial cutback.
  7. by   SummerGarden
    The others have good advice. I would like to add as a former social worker of kids and adults, I have met HORRIBLE mothers!!! Attending school and coming home late to greet a sleepy daughter does not put you in the ball park of a bad mother!!! In fact, you are not even on the same planet. I hope that helps. Good luck. :wink2:
  8. by   starzzmom
    I agree with the other posters that you are setting a wonderful example for your daughter about going after your goals and that everything worthwhile requires work.

    I am trying to take me own advice...I have a 2 1/2 year old and an 8 month old and am trying to take is slowly for their benefit at the moment. I would love to be taking 2-3 classes to get through this but am only taking 1 Saturday class for now.
  9. by   AmericanChai
    (((HUGS))))

    I am the mom of a 2 year old and a 5 year old. I have been homeschooling the 5 year old for 3 years (she's gifted/talented) and had planned on doing so until I got into nursing school in a few years. Well I just enrolled her in Kindergarten. I am only taking one class but I need the study time when my 2yo naps. It's a really good school, I shopped around and found a charter school that meets her needs. But it's just hard.

    On the other hand, she enjoys seeing me study and I think she's proud of me. She says I will make sick people feel better. She says she wants to be a doctor and I can be the nurse.

    I think you are doing a find job of setting an example for your child and I'm sure everything will be fine. It will make the time you spend together that much more precious.
  10. by   HARRN2b
    I want to tell all of you how prereq's has affected my children ages 7.8 and 11. Their grades have greatly improved. WE STUDY TOGETHER. My grades are posted online from my university and it is a huge deal to see what my test scores are. They go nuts if I do not get an "A". Also my son is now interested in chemistry. The 7 year old can name the noble gases. I told him to go to school and tell the teacher he was learning the periodic table . Just keep it interesting for them.
  11. by   evbella
    I too am having a hard time with feeling like I won't have enough time with the kids on school days. I have a 6 year old who just started 1st grade yesterday and a 3 year old. I am mostly losing time with my son because I will get him ready for school, he gets home close to 4pm and then I have to leave for school 30 minutes later---- so not much time for the 3 nights I am in school, and then when clinicals start I will be gone every other weekend.

    So- I feel your pain, and I am trying to rationalize just as you because I know it will benefit me and my family in the end.

    Good luck to you!
  12. by   NurseyBaby'05
    Just remind yourself that it's only two days a week that you have that long schedule. You have been maximizing the time with her on your other three nights. It's only for one semester, then you can reevaluate. I think you're setting a good example for your daughter myself. Just my .
  13. by   DaughterofRuth
    Thanks everyone for your advice and well wishes. It SO helps to hear other commiserating and know that I'm not the only one making this sacrifice. I'm so blessed to have a family that totally supports me in this, I can't imagine how hard it must be for those students who do this AND fight their spouses to do it.

    Keepin' on keepin' on. Gave up sodas last week, took up coffee this week!

    0_0
  14. by   reese19
    I understand your feelings, too. I have a two sons, ages 3 1/2 and 17 months. For now, I'm taking two night classes a week. Even though I'm only gone two nights a week, I still have to spend a lot of time studying at home. This has greatly limited the amount of time I used to spend with my boys and my husband. Thankfully, my DH is supportive and my 3 1/2-yr-old seems supportive, too. I do miss tucking my 17-mo-old in bed on the nights that I'm at school, but I know my DH does a good job at that, too.

    I just remind myself over and over again that my nursing degree will allow us to put our boys in a private Christian school, move into a bigger home (we're in a 2-br townhome), go to DisneyWorld, etc. ... without my degree, those things would be virtually impossible. So, those thoughts keep me going! Also, as a previous poster said, kids really are great about these things. We parents beat ourselves up, but kids don't take things half as hard as we imagine.

    Oh, my cousin is almost finished with clinicals, and she told me that one thing that helped her regarding missing her daughter was to plan one special day for the two of them every week. On Mondays, for example, she and her daughter always do something special together -- like the park, a kids' museum, the movies, or even just Chic-fil-A. But she always reserves that day for them. She says that has made a huge difference in how much "mommy guilt" she has felt!

    By the way -- you're a great mom and you're making a great decision to be a nurse!!!

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