Eating our own?

  1. I was kind of surprised by the responses to the thread about whether or not it was mean not to offer your notes to a fellow classmate. I'm hoping the big issue here was that the person was not a friend but I'm still surprised at the comments that included hoping she doesn't get into the nursing program or giving her notes that were fake.

    We don't know what her personal life is like and working night shift is tough my guess would be that she doesn't do it for the heck of it. Don't get me wrong there were more than a couple of lazy people in my class also but the majority of people that missed classes were working (like the person in the original thread) or had kids, illness, family problems etc. I really think that we need to be supportive of each other because who knows when we will have something come up and need to copy someone's notes.

    I always figured my success didn't hinge on another's failure. Just my two cents but its so common to see comments about seasoned nurses "eating their young" that I think we should make note of when it starts.
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    About Jules A

    Joined: Aug '06; Posts: 8,904; Likes: 13,681

    14 Comments

  3. by   Worthless_Nut
    Jules, you so hit the nail on the head. I felt the same way when I read about not loaning, or giving a scantron to a fellow student who may have just made a simple mistake of leaving them at home or actually forgetting about a quiz. It must be nice to be perfect, I cannot, however make that claim. It frightens me that the biggest obstacle I may have to overcome as a nurse, is not demanding patients and their families, not arrogant physicians with their God-complexes, but my fellow nurse who is out to screw me over. What a shame that we have sunk to these lows. Life is a struggle all by itself without us sniping at one another. What happened to the idea of paying it forward? I have spent the last 7 years in a job where I was the only woman, and let me tell you. Men are so much easier to work with. They get mad and tell you off, but 15 minutes later it's over. Why can't we women do the same?
  4. by   Tweety
    I always happily shared my notes with conscientious students (disclaimer there, because not everyone is a conscientious student, and there were some that didn't get my notes) that missed class. That's just good kharma.
  5. by   BeccaznRN
    I agree. I never have a problem helping my fellow students out, and therefore when I need help I always get it. I think one can always tell the students that really need some help from the students who are looking for a free ride. Luckily, the "free ride" students were weeded out in the first semester of nursing school so this issue really hasn't presented itself since then.
  6. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I worked nights putting myself through LPN school, no less than 50 hours a week, add that with 32 hours of school a week. I also has a PT job 2 evenings a week, add another 8-12 hours a week to that.

    And i never expected to be the exception to the rule or for someone to help pull me through it. Nor did i ask for it

    I have no problem helping someone who is obviously trying and willing to learn (even made a copy of my notes for someone who had perfect attendance, but needed help with HOW to take good notes), but i won't carry nor spoonfeed those that are looking for a patsy to make their lives easier simply because they don't want to do the work, or they don't want the work to cramp their sorority partying. I have enough of my own work to do as it is.

    If that makes me someone who eats my own, then please pass the McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning. I like a little garlic and spice with my food.
    Last edit by Marie_LPN, RN on Oct 15, '06
  7. by   lisabeth
    I guess maybe it wasnt fully understood. She misses once a week, many weeks. I dont mind helping others who are trying, but someone that misses that much isnt going to last very long in the program, and not that I dont want her to. Then it will be up to the nursing instructor. I dont think this is even an issue of eating our own. Neither of us are in the program. I certainly am not a seasoned nurse.
    If everyone shares their notes with her, are we helping her? I dont think so. No nursing instructor is going to let that slide by. I think she may as well start doing things right now. Before the real fun begins.
    I also dont accept the fact that things might be easier then because I am sure she will be still working at the same place. I do not wish anything bad on her, but I think she needs to put more importance on class. I dont hope she doesnt get into the program, but she wont stay in if she does things like this.
    Last edit by lisabeth on Oct 15, '06
  8. by   NRSNFL
    Unfortunately this is something I see all to often and sadly read often here too. I mean its a fricken scantron, will you a) be out that much ($1.29), chances are you'll need more next semester and b) sometimes you need to have faith that someone will replace what they have borrowed. In micro last semester, I was a faithful student but could never make it to the school store before class. I was alway cutting it close due to my work schedule, however I made time and ensured my classmate got her scantron back by exam 3.

    Which leads me to my next comment.....I've been warned before that nurses eat their young. Mostly to help them develop the thick skin that you need in healthcare. I get that. But what I don't get is the judging that goes on here. A huge aspect and ethical aspect of nursing is taking care of your patient. My concern is they are going to have an obese patient that is well, obese because of their own lack of motivation (or so they will assume) and not care for them better than a fit patient. One has to asses their own ability to remove judgement from a situation and either do the right thing, or sit in their judgemental corners and lead a very unsatisfying life assesing everyone but themselves. Can you tell this upsets me.
  9. by   KungFuFtr
    I made the comment of giving wrong answers...That was in responce to Datonite's post. That was when a fellow malipulative student kept sucking up for the answers on a take home test; prior to the start of class. Datonite kept saying no and she kept asking. I mentioned to give her wrong answers in jest. Even if you give some1 wrong answers on a test, it's still considered cheating.

    As far as Texas Angel's post...
    It seems to me the person asking for her notes was being two faced. That's why I would have mirrored her body language right back at her.
  10. by   NRSNFL
    You know if the girl was a lazy teenager who just graduated from high school and spent too much time sleeping in the back row of class (yes, this happened last semester) I would double think it, and still lend my notes (because they would need alot more than my notes).......but bottom line, I'd lend my notes regardless.......notes do not pass an exam....a whole lot of studying does....and chances are, they will not be studying either. So at least I can look back and know I did the right (and kind) thing.
  11. by   luvmy3kids
    I disagree. I am willing to lend my notes to someone who is sincerely trying their best, but might need a little help here and there.... And I LOVE helping other students during lab.... I actually enjoy it....

    ....But..... if someone is missing class (and I have 3 kids, a DH who travels nationally 80% of the week, I volunteer and teach Sunday school and still manage to come to class).... not trying their best, or sleeping in the back.. too ******* bad!

    I'm busting my butt and I have just as many obsticals as the next person. The only way that someone who doesn't give it their all will learn the material is if they do it on their own, study with a group, or fail and retake the course (lesson learned)...

    I don't feel I would be doing any sort of service to them lending my notes other then giving them a false sense of security and a reason for them to hate me after they study from MY notes and fail regardless....

    Like I said, I'll help just about anyone out if they show me that they are truly trying.... otherwise they are on their own....
  12. by   nurse4theplanet
    Quote from Tweety
    I always happily shared my notes with conscientious students (disclaimer there, because not everyone is a conscientious student, and there were some that didn't get my notes) that missed class. That's just good kharma.
    I agree. You just have to use your best judgement. Usually, it's not hard to determine whether a student really needs help or they are just looking for someone to carry them through.
  13. by   catzy5
    Quote from asoldierswife05
    I agree. You just have to use your best judgement. Usually, it's not hard to determine whether a student really needs help or they are just looking for someone to carry them through.

    I love to help other students when I can, it helps me learn as well right, learn it, do it, teach it. However I have to agree about the sharing notes on a case by case basis. I posted on the other thread there are a couple people in my class who are seriously disrespectful, never coming in on time skipping tests quizes etc and so far as sleeping during lecture. I asked what was wrong to one of them she is out with her boyfriend too late. Ok these are people I don't want to help either and its not to be mean or not because I don't like that but, because I don't want to be working as a Nurse with someone who is undependable like this, if they skate by on others help and get in the program then this could be your future partner in class or in the work force and can you depend on them?
  14. by   PANurseRN1
    Quote from Jules A
    I was kind of surprised by the responses to the thread about whether or not it was mean not to offer your notes to a fellow classmate. I'm hoping the big issue here was that the person was not a friend but I'm still surprised at the comments that included hoping she doesn't get into the nursing program or giving her notes that were fake.

    We don't know what her personal life is like and working night shift is tough my guess would be that she doesn't do it for the heck of it. Don't get me wrong there were more than a couple of lazy people in my class also but the majority of people that missed classes were working (like the person in the original thread) or had kids, illness, family problems etc. I really think that we need to be supportive of each other because who knows when we will have something come up and need to copy someone's notes.

    I always figured my success didn't hinge on another's failure. Just my two cents but its so common to see comments about seasoned nurses "eating their young" that I think we should make note of when it starts.
    Interesting, isn't it?

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