Quote from FluffyFluffalo
Going to start off by giving a little background about myself.
I'm 22 with a mother who is about to retire (2 years).
I'm going for my ADN at a local CC.
I've already taken all of my pre-reqs aside from Microbiology.
I did poorly in A&P II and Pharmacology. C in A&P II, B in Pharm.
I completed a CNA program so I have a taste of what being in a healthcare facility is like.
So here is why I'm in burnt out :
1. I did poorly in pharm and a&p 2. The grade isn't that big of a deal to me. It's that pharm alone has made me burnt out and riddled with anxiety. If I can't memorize these drugs how will I even do in nursing school? For my class we needed to know drug class, generic name, mech. of action, and indications. I can't even imagine having to know adverse effects along with how it plays a role in Pathophysiology...
TL;DR : Poor pharm + A&P 2 performance. Not sure how well that'll translate to NS.
2. I have a chance at getting in the spring semester but realistically a shoe in for the fall semester of 2019. That's already a full year of essentially doing nothing but taking micro and working. If I somehow fail midway of NS that's 2 years and I'll have absolutely nothing to show for it which I could've used to go for bachelors. My mother's going to be retired and I don't think I'd be able to even survive NS if I tried to get a part time job.
TL;DR : 1 year from getting in. If I fail midway that'll be a total of 2 years wasted which I could have used to go for a bachelors.
3. Let's say I somehow get pass NS, pass my NCLEX, and land a nursing job. I don't know if I have what it takes to spend the rest of my life living with the anxiety that I could seriously harm or kill someone AND lose my license after years of dedication for it. I know I have the heart to become a nurse. I absolutely love helping others in every conceivable way. I have little to no issues with blood, sputum, stool, etc.
TL;DR : Anxiety that I can spend 3 years of schooling and essentially have it taken away from me after a fatal situation.
I spent the past 2 years always wondering "What if I can't get in?" due to struggling with the entrance HESI. To recently wondering "I did so poorly in pharm. If I can't do well here how can I even do well in NS?"
Right now I don't have to do anything except for refresh my dosage calc. course credit, review pharm notes, and work. I keep hearing people say "You just need time to relax" before getting in but even when I hang out with friends it's ruined by my anxiety. It's a constant loop. Get anxiety > hang out > think about future NS > rinse and repeat.
Question's in the title but really I'm just asking for people to read my situation and have them give me their thoughts. Also should I go to the doctors to take a look at my anxiety? I know anxiety is good to keep you on your feet but I think my anxiety is higher than most as I worry about a lot of meaningless *&#$.
If you've read any of my long, drawn out post I'd like to thank you for putting a little bit of your day to possibly help.
I want to hug you right now. I have three decades more experience than you, and please don't take this as patronizing, but A B in pharm is good, not "poor." The C in A&P II should trouble you a little more. But that's repeatable if you decide you want to go this route.
Your concern about medications - that's real, and yes, you are the last stop between the doctor and the patient so it should give you a little heartburn. However, it should not make you sick. There's not one of us who hasn't lost sleep when thinking about what "could" go wrong, I promise. Losing a license pretty much takes years of making mistakes, though...unless you make a giant, horrific, on-purpose mistake.
It sounds like you have a lot of free-floating anxiety about things that haven't happened yet. I would encourage you to speak to both an admissions counselor (who may put nursing school in perspective) and perhaps a counselor or psychologist who can help you build some skills for when your anxiety comes calling.
What else can you do with these prerequisites? If nursing school isn't an option, how would you feel? Physical, occupational, and respiratory therapists do great things both in hospitals and in the communities - have you thought about an alternative to nursing?