post-clinical day depression

kellyo, LPN · Jun 22, 2005

I come home and cry the first few weeks of any new clinical rotation. I think it's just feeling out of control in a new environment. You manage to get a hang of things after a while. Just keep reminding yourself why you're there. Usually a patient that you click with can help you do that:) .

elizabells, BSN, RN · Jun 22, 2005

I come home and cry the first few weeks of any new clinical rotation. I think it's just feeling out of control in a new environment. You manage to get a hang of things after a while. Just keep reminding yourself why you're there. Usually a patient that you click with can help you do that:) .

Thank you, Kelly. That sneaky little "you're not cut out for this" was starting to creep up.

Altra, BSN, RN · Jun 23, 2005

Is it just a product of the overwhelming nature of the first few times in the hospital?

Most likely.

Working in a hospital setting can be like sensory overload if you've never worked in health care before. When these new sights, sounds & experiences are added to a new beginner's underlying anxiety -- it very well can be overwhelming. It might be hard for friends & family to understand the level of intensity that's inherent in every clinical day.

Just continue to take it all in, and do whatever works for you to decompress (you mentioned chocolate ... ). Walk, run, concentrate on some activity, talk it out, vent here at allnurses or even just zone out in front of the TV for a little while.

Certain rotations will undoubtably be more difficult than others, and sometimes it seems there's no rhyme or reason to why. Some in my class found working with the elderly in LTC almost more than they could stand ... I, on the other hand, thought seriously about quitting during my peds rotation. Everyone's different.

When you get antsy during breaks because you haven't been in clinicals for a while -- then you'll know you've turned the corner. :)

Best of luck to you.

undecided · Jun 23, 2005

I came home and was convinced I made the wrong career choice my first day of clinical. I am a nuc med student. I was so depressed my first day. The people in the department had an "off" day that day and did not talk to me. I felt useless. I still am not totally comfortable there after two months but it is much better. The more I get to do on my own, the more confident I feel. Its hard being a student because you want to jump right in and do so much .

Reddy,RN · Jun 23, 2005

I can relate to the o p.

I don't remember my dreams after a clinical day but I do know I somehow process the day while I sleep that night. Somehow things get sorted from thousand of impressions of the who and the how and the why of a hospital unit. After a good night's sleep things really do look better.

Get some rest and let your sleeping self help. Good luck.

elizabells, BSN, RN · Jun 23, 2005

I can relate to the o p.
I don't remember my dreams after a clinical day but I do know I somehow process the day while I sleep that night. Somehow things get sorted from thousand of impressions of the who and the how and the why of a hospital unit. After a good night's sleep things really do look better.
Get some rest and let your sleeping self help. Good luck.

Lol, I just got up and I had the craziest dreams! A couple of girls from class (only people I know here, I'm in a new state) were trying to get somewhere across this field, and we saw a woman dressed like a nun, but in purple, running across a field. Then there was a whole line of them marching and chanting. We ended up in the convent or whatever, and it was so restrictive and authoritarian that I said screw it, but the man in charge wouldn't let me leave, and had actually posted men outside the door to assault us if we tried. Then I went blind because of the bilirubin in my urine (??? does that even happen???) And then the escape was successful!

Any thoughts? :stone

FutureRN2005 · Jun 23, 2005

Hey y'all-
Today was my second day of clinicals, and I'm really, inexplicably, sad. Not about anything in particular, or any pt in particular. Just bummed, can't really think straight. There is chocolate involved. Has anyone else experienced this? Is it just a product of the overwhelming nature of the first few times in the hospital?
Thanks
Eliza

I felt the same way my first year of clinicals. I would not be able to sleep the night before, and after clinicals I felt down, even though nothing went wrong. I dont know what year in school you are in, but my second year I feel so much better about clinicals. I am even excited about doing my preceptorship in the fall. So hopefully things will get better soon.

wonderbee, BSN, RN · Jun 23, 2005

Lol, I just got up and I had the craziest dreams! A couple of girls from class (only people I know here, I'm in a new state) were trying to get somewhere across this field, and we saw a woman dressed like a nun, but in purple, running across a field. Then there was a whole line of them marching and chanting. We ended up in the convent or whatever, and it was so restrictive and authoritarian that I said screw it, but the man in charge wouldn't let me leave, and had actually posted men outside the door to assault us if we tried. Then I went blind because of the bilirubin in my urine (??? does that even happen???) And then the escape was successful!
Any thoughts? :stone

A nun in purple and a man in charge? Sounds like Hotel California. You know the line from the song "You can check out any time you like but you can never leave".

I remember feeling very restricted during my first clinicals. The rooms seemed so small, the protocols so rigid, everything so structured. The floor felt like it was closing in on me. I loved school but couldn't wait till the end of my clinical day. The little thought that nursing wasn't for me was growing but I swatted at it like it was a pesky fly. The dreams were bizzare and frequently involved something to do with the nursing school scene.

The transition from interested in nursing, to nursing student, to nurse is kind of like learning to swallow a camel or grow a second head. I stopped talking to family about my day. They really don't want to hear about the amputated stump I dressed or the fact that I can detect C. diff by its distinctive smell. It's only natural that the brain would be overloaded and spring a leak in the form of dreams. I really believe it's something only other nurses and students can understand so keep coming here to debrief.

Imafloat, BSN, RN · Jun 23, 2005

My whole first quarter of clinicals I was questioning my decision to become a nurse. It is so hard to take what you have learned from a book and apply it to real life. Add to that that you are working with real patients, with real diagnoses. I still freak slightly over lung sounds. Will I recognize abnormal ones? My classmates were all healthy and young when we practiced on each other. I feel slightly better now that I am in my third clinical. I am still unsure at times, like when I see something different than all of the experienced nurses and have to be the first one to chart it. I totally doubt myself. I just had a dream last night (had clinicals yesterday) in which my clinical instructor played a big part, hmmm.....

LeesieBug · Jun 23, 2005

I agree that the second year of clinical was much better. I absolutely HATED clinical the first year, and thought SERIOUSLY about changing my major SEVERAL times.

Having finished year two, now heading into year three (final year!), I am SO glad I stayed with it. Working in the hospital, caring for patients, dealing with instructors...everything about clinical started to get easier. I now sleep like a log the night before clinicals, which I never would have believed could happen, when I started.

The only dream I kept having at the end of this year was that I was assigned a patient on a ventillator, but I had no idea how to care for him because we hadn't covered that yet, and no one would tell me what to do! Must have been due to the fact that critical care is coming up next! :chuckle

RN_Jen · Jun 23, 2005

Lol, I just got up and I had the craziest dreams! A couple of girls from class (only people I know here, I'm in a new state) were trying to get somewhere across this field, and we saw a woman dressed like a nun, but in purple, running across a field. Then there was a whole line of them marching and chanting. We ended up in the convent or whatever, and it was so restrictive and authoritarian that I said screw it, but the man in charge wouldn't let me leave, and had actually posted men outside the door to assault us if we tried. Then I went blind because of the bilirubin in my urine (??? does that even happen???) And then the escape was successful!
Any thoughts? :stone

You should keep a journal of your dreams. If nothing else, it will be a source of entertainment when you're all done with school! Maybe you could start a thread on this subject...I think it would be very interesting!