Please help me with my cover letter

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Hi everyone,

I am a new grad and just got my license last week. Looking for jobs right now, so please help me with my cover letter. Thank you so much in advance.

I have no nursing experience. And what I have put are only the things I was able to do that I found related a little bit to nursing field.

I am bilingual, and I have worked with disabled students for a year at my school DSPS (Disabilities Support Program & Service) computer lab to assist them with basic computer skills. I worked for school academic computer lab for a year also. And I have experiences of computer charting since I had one of my clinical rotations where they did only computer charting. I volunteered at a local hospital (audiology clinic) for 1.5 years as a clinical clerk and testing assistant for pediatric hearing evaluations, and 4 months at a senior community. Should I put all the information (bilingual, computer skills, computerized charting) into my cover letter because I do have them on my resume?

Thank you all. :)

Name

Address

Phone

Email

Date

RN Recruiter

Address of the facility

Dear RN Recruiter:

I am writing in response to your job posting online from ***** website. I am interested in the position of Staff Nurse for Medically Monitored/ MedSurg 4P unit, Ref # ***at **** Medical center.

I have graduated from ***** College on December 15, 2011 with an Associate Degree in Nursing; and recently I have successfully obtained my registered nurse license in the state of California. Through my education at **** College, I have acquired skills in patient assessment and gained a basic foundation in providing holistic care for a person's health: physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychosocial. In addition, my experiences earned from volunteering at **** Hospital for over one year and **** Assisted Seniors Living Community have supported me develop my communication skills, caring and working with different people from diverse backgrounds. I will be honored and excited to be part of your team and contribute my skills to your facility staff and patients.

I have attached my resume for your review. My application can only tell you so much about my motivations and qualifications for a position as a Staff Nurse. I am looking forward the chance to discuss my background, and learn more about the expectations of this position with you. Please contact me at your convenience. Thank you for your consideration and this exciting opportunity.

Sincerely,

[Damask]

I like your background, but I'm not feeling the passion. I see a lot of statement of facts, but perhaps you need a brief story peppered in there to back them up. :) You know, the old writing adage "Show - Don't tell." I'm sure you have a lot of really great examples of communication from your volunteer experiences!

My suggestion is: Take some risks by rewriting it tonight. Let yourself get creative with your language. Tomorrow reread it and see what you think.

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Thank you, I will try to edit/rewrite it. :)

[Damask]

You are welcome! Good luck!