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Pediatric patient- home nurse situations!?

Private Duty   (14,936 Views 55 Comments)
by MomLPN4 MomLPN4 (New Member) New Member

906 Visitors; 5 Posts

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Hello! I am a nurse for a vent dependent child whose mother and father are currently living together but have not been romantically together since the Childs birth. I have worked there for nearly half of the Childs life- he was in the hospital for almost the first 13 months! Anyways the father and I began dating a while ago and I'm wondering if anyone else has had this type of experience before? The mother does not know and will be moving out shortly. They are currently in a heated custody battle although they were never married. I don't want to hurt her but at the same time she is not good with her child and only since he told her to get out has she paid attention to the child. But on the other hand I don't want anything that has happened between us to give her a leg up in court because the best thing for the child would be with his father- with or without me. Just need advice please!!

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Brea LPN has 5 years experience and specializes in LTC.

3,733 Visitors; 143 Posts

Sorry to say but dating a patient's father doesn't seem to be a very ethical thing to do.

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LoveMyBugs is a BSN, CNA, RN and specializes in Pediatrics.

14,414 Visitors; 1,316 Posts

Umm WOW, ethical breach:eek::madface:

You need to step away from the situation, as you can not objectively see both sides as you are romantically involved with dad

How are you so sure that the best thing is for the child to stay with dad, dads judgement is also imparied, by getting romantically involved with his childs nurse?

Wow :no::no::no::uhoh21:

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906 Visitors; 5 Posts

I should say that I know I will get many negative responses about the relationship but my opinion of who is the better caregiver has never changed from the mom to dad. It's the opinion of all the nurses who are on this case who know nothing of any relationship the father and I have outside of work. I'm just wanting advice- I'm certain I'm not the first nurse that has had something like this happen.

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Simba&NalasMom has 14 years experience as a LPN.

10,000 Visitors; 613 Posts

You may also be putting your license on the line. I have a friend who who was suspended for 60 days for being involved with a patient before he even became her patient. BONs don't mess around.

Not to be "negative" about it, but to answer your question, no I have not personally been in a similar situation. But I would ask myself, "What is worth more...this relationship, or my nursing license?"

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SlightlyMental_RN specializes in chemical dependency detox/psych.

6,173 Visitors; 471 Posts

This is so not cool. As the others have said, this is big time breach of professional nursing ethics.

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nursel56 has 25+ years experience and specializes in peds//ambulatory care/HH-private duty.

1 Follower; 43,336 Visitors; 6,653 Posts

I work in private duty also. I understand how these things "can" happen because you are in close proximity to families for a long period of time.

This should never have been allowed to happen. When "feelings" started to happen you should have immediately left the case.

Sorry I can't offer you anything positive. There is nothing okay about what you are doing.

You should stop working as a nurse in that house now.

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Brea LPN has 5 years experience and specializes in LTC.

3,733 Visitors; 143 Posts

What are you wanting advice on exactly?

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906 Visitors; 5 Posts

I guess on what option I have other than just flat out quitting bc the child has two nurses during the day while awake me and another girl. We get along great and take exceptional care of him. We've both been there pretty much from the time he was discharged so the patient knows us just like we were family. I'm no saint and obviously far from perfect but a lot of times good home health nurses are hard to come by. I don't like feeling like my license could be in jeopardy but also love that child. So I just wanted advice/input on that I guess. Thanks

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Brea LPN has 5 years experience and specializes in LTC.

3,733 Visitors; 143 Posts

If you are determined to keep dating the father, I would drop the case. I don't know if the relationship could jeopardize your job or license, but you have worked to hard to lose either.

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Simba&NalasMom has 14 years experience as a LPN.

10,000 Visitors; 613 Posts

I guess on what option I have other than just flat out quitting bc the child has two nurses during the day while awake me and another girl. We get along great and take exceptional care of him. We've both been there pretty much from the time he was discharged so the patient knows us just like we were family. I'm no saint and obviously far from perfect but a lot of times good home health nurses are hard to come by. I don't like feeling like my license could be in jeopardy but also love that child. So I just wanted advice/input on that I guess. Thanks

Well, I really feel strongly that if you care that much about the child and his dad, you need to remove yourself from the case. It doesn't necessarily mean you still can't be a part of the care and well-being of the kiddo...but it really is a huge boundary issue to be his paid nurse and be involved with Dad.

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1,404 Visitors; 21 Posts

My best advice (along with most posters it seems) would be to remove yourself from the situation entirely. Your actions have jeopardized your nurse-patient relationship and you risk further potential litigation by remaining involved either as the child's nurse or as its former caregiver continuing to be romantically involved with a family member.

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