Patients or family members that lie about you

Published

Specializes in Critical Care.

i am upset. The other day, I had a confused patient. When I walked into the room, her husband was there. I said hello to him, and he did not acknowledge me. In fact, the whole time I was in the patient's room, he never said a word to me; even after I tried to engage him in conversation. He later reported me to my patient's doc and my NM. Two charge nurses gave me a head's up about the complaint, while I as was at home later in the evening. So, expected to be called into the office the next day. However, what I was told by my NM the next day completely blew my mind. I gave this patient her meds with water, and her husband said nothing. However, according to her husband, he said to me, "She takes here medications with milk." My reply, "All I have is water, and I would have to get a doctor's order for milk." I can't understand someone's motivation to lie like that, but that is another issue.

I would never say anything this asinine to any patient or family member. But, after my conversation with the NM, not sure if she believes that I didn't say this. Had a conversation with other nurses I work with that same day...they basically stated that management believes anything that patients and family members say, whether right or wrong. Has anyone else had anything like this happen to them. You input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med Surg.

It is usually very easy for a manager to tell when patients or family members are lying.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
i am upset. The other day, I had a confused patient. When I walked into the room, her husband was there. I said hello to him, and he did not acknowledge me. In fact, the whole time I was in the patient's room, he never said a word to me; even after I tried to engage him in conversation. He later reported me to my patient's doc and my NM. Two charge nurses gave me a head's up about the complaint, while I as was at home later in the evening. So, expected to be called into the office the next day. However, what I was told by my NM the next day completely blew my mind. I gave this patient her meds with water, and her husband said nothing. However, according to her husband, he said to me, "She takes here medications with milk." My reply, "All I have is water, and I would have to get a doctor's order for milk." I can't understand someone's motivation to lie like that, but that is another issue.

I would never say anything this asinine to any patient or family member. But, after my conversation with the NM, not sure if she believes that I didn't say this. Had a conversation with other nurses I work with that same day...they basically stated that management believes anything that patients and family members say, whether right or wrong. Has anyone else had anything like this happen to them. You input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I can only think of one time a patient lied about me, but it was an outrageous lie and the patient was a well-known liar. I did get asked about it for the sake of "addressing" the issue, but it was a mere formality. I'm not sure the lie your patient told would matter- even if it were true.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Yes, I have had patients and family members tell blatant lies about me. While I find their dishonesty and passive aggressiveness rather vexing, I am also relieved I now have an excuse to no longer render care to the lying patient and/or be in the presence of the boldfaced liar family member(s).

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I was working on a SNF as charge for several years. We had a long term, extremely manipulative patient for about 14 months. The type who was put in one of the single rooms by the nursing station (despite being totally independent) because she went through so many roommates.

Anyway, the state was in for survey, and she'd been in my regular set of rooms for several months. She was borderline personality, with many psych issues. I really had done my best with her, and she seemed to respond well to me. I maintained boundaries with her, she seemed to like me (as I am the same racial group; she fired quite a few nurses because they weren't). So she told surveyors that whenever I worked 7am to 11 pm, I refused to medicate her until right before 11 pm, leaving her in pain for 16 hours a day, regularly. Thankfully, my DON and administration knew me well and backed me up... Turns out, I had never worked a double when taking the set of rooms she was in. I only found out after I'd been cleared, but there was a (brief but thorough) investigation that showed her claims were untrue.

I'm sure she thought they wouldn't be able to disprove her accusations, but I can't help imagining what my fate could've been if she's made a less-disprovable accusation?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i am upset. The other day, I had a confused patient. When I walked into the room, her husband was there. I said hello to him, and he did not acknowledge me. In fact, the whole time I was in the patient's room, he never said a word to me; even after I tried to engage him in conversation. He later reported me to my patient's doc and my NM. Two charge nurses gave me a head's up about the complaint, while I as was at home later in the evening. So, expected to be called into the office the next day. However, what I was told by my NM the next day completely blew my mind. I gave this patient her meds with water, and her husband said nothing. However, according to her husband, he said to me, "She takes here medications with milk." My reply, "All I have is water, and I would have to get a doctor's order for milk." I can't understand someone's motivation to lie like that, but that is another issue.

I would never say anything this asinine to any patient or family member. But, after my conversation with the NM, not sure if she believes that I didn't say this. Had a conversation with other nurses I work with that same day...they basically stated that management believes anything that patients and family members say, whether right or wrong. Has anyone else had anything like this happen to them. You input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Patients and family lie frequently if they think it will get them what they want. (Of course, that depends a lot upon your basic patient population. I didn't find that to be true when I worked in a rural community hospital, but here in the bad neighborhood in the big, bad city that has significant racial tensions, yes, patients lie.) It's commonplace to have a patient or family tell me, "Yes I KNOW the rule says no outside food or drink in the room, but that OTHER nurse always lets us do it. You're the only one who enforces the dumb rules." Now I don't know whether the other nurse actually enforced the rule or not, but I know my colleagues well enough to venture an educated guess. Usually, the patient is lying to get that quarter pounder that they want despite their NPO status.

Every once in awhile someone wants to "fire" me because that OTHER nurse is nicer to them. SCORE! When someone is given to lying, manipulating and firing nurses I'm well out of that situation. Tis nicer to be fired than to pick up the patient after they fired someone else!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in tele, med/surg, step down.
i am upset. The other day, I had a confused patient. When I walked into the room, her husband was there. I said hello to him, and he did not acknowledge me. In fact, the whole time I was in the patient's room, he never said a word to me; even after I tried to engage him in conversation. He later reported me to my patient's doc and my NM. Two charge nurses gave me a head's up about the complaint, while I as was at home later in the evening. So, expected to be called into the office the next day. However, what I was told by my NM the next day completely blew my mind. I gave this patient her meds with water, and her husband said nothing. However, according to her husband, he said to me, "She takes here medications with milk." My reply, "All I have is water, and I would have to get a doctor's order for milk." I can't understand someone's motivation to lie like that, but that is another issue.

I would never say anything this asinine to any patient or family member. But, after my conversation with the NM, not sure if she believes that I didn't say this. Had a conversation with other nurses I work with that same day...they basically stated that management believes anything that patients and family members say, whether right or wrong. Has anyone else had anything like this happen to them. You input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I have had patients and family staff split, manipulate and fire other nurses and doctors. Luckily I have never been fired by a patient. However, I have been reported to management over silly things like being on my cell phone at work, wearing red make up (I was horribly sunburned) and have had family of patients lie about a situation regarding a nursing assistant I was involved in overseeing. The biggest thing management has always stressed was my side of the story and "they can't judge the situation because they were not there." If the situation was that serious, the supervisor or charge nurse should have been involved. I wouldn't lose sleep over it. The hospital is going to trust a licensed professional over a patients heresy.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion