Rules for Oregon Drivers

U.S.A. Oregon

Published

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I was just perusing the "Rules for Michigan Drivers" when I got to thinking that each state must have its own unwritten rules based on the local weather, culture, and characteristics of its population. So here's a list of rules for Oregon drivers that never made the vehicle code:

1) Don't bash drivers with California license plates. Three-quarter of the drivers with Oregon plates are ex-Californians themselves....heck, YOU'RE probably one of them.

2) Driving in more than a millimeter of snow must involve the same techniques as those employed by Californians who drive in the rain. These may include, but are not limited to, the following:

a) Increase speed to at least 70MPH in residential areas and 90MPH on the freeway to avoid getting snowed on.

b) Panic and hit the brakes if the car begins to slide.

c) If a snowdrift appears to be more than six inches deep, proceed through it. Curse loudly and spin tires futilely when the vehicle becomes stuck.

d) If the above techniques do not work, go to the store the day before a snowstorm is predicted and buy three months' worth of food and supplies so it will not be necessary to venture out once the blizzard is in the process of dumping its two inches of snow on the roads.

3) The traffic signals mean the following:

a) Red means STOP

b) Green means GO

c) Yellow means FLOOR IT!

d) Blinking red means STOP IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT

e) Blinking yellow means PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK....EVERYBODY ELSE DOES.

4) Never allow anyone using an on-ramp to actually merge with traffic. They aren't really serious, anyway, and the people behind them don't mind being backed up.

5) In Portland, do as the Portlanders do, even if it is illegal in other parts of the state. Portland doesn't even know that there ARE other parts of the state.

6) The maximum speed limit on the interstate is 65MPH....wait a minute, it's 70. No, it's 65. No......well, pick one of 'em, the legislature STILL hasn't made up its mind, and the 4 state troopers who are left after the budget cuts won't look at you sideways unless you're doing approximately 180 in your own driveway.

7) This rule does NOT apply in Corvallis, home of Oregon State University, where there are approximately 2.7 cops for every resident, and each one of them will bust you for exceeding the city's maximum speed of 5MPH.

8) Do not drive on the freeway in any vehicle smaller than the average rhinoceros. You will not win.:D

0 Votes

LOL. I have to agree about the freeway things. I've only been driving a year and a half though.

Going in or through Portland on the freeway I notice the drivers are a lot more aggresive and just plain crazy. I live in the burbs outside Oregon City and everything is pretty calm. I always have to brace myself when I go into Portland especially downtown.

I actually hope it snows this winter, if for nothing else, to watch the idiots on the road.

Pretty funny list. :chuckle

0 Votes
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

You might get your wish sooner than you think.......it could snow as early as Thursday night or early Friday morning, according to the latest weather report.

Yeah, it's fun to watch people drive like complete idiots in the snow. What's not fun is to BE one of those idiots........I have NEVER learned how to drive in snow, am scared spitless to be on the road when there's so much as a flurry, and generally refuse to go anywhere unless someone with a 4-wheel drive is willing to pick me up and deposit me wherever I need to be. It all stems from a near-fatal spin-out about 7 or 8 years ago.......I was doing all the right things, but my car hit a patch of black ice and the next thing I knew I was out of control, doing 360s in the middle of a busy highway. I still don't know how the other cars managed to not hit me, or how I righted myself and got back on the road, but since then I've refused to drive in icy conditions. I did have to once, around Christmas of '98, when we had about three inches fall overnight and I had to drive home from my graveyard-shift job at a local LTC facility. I was terrified.......it took me over an hour to drive the five miles from the facility to my house, and I was shaking all over when I got there. BRRRRRRRRRRR. I'm generally a fearless driver under ordinary circumstances.....but I am a total wimp when it comes to snow & ice.:imbar

0 Votes
Specializes in NICU.

I used to put on studded tires every winter, they wouldn't help with black ice, but I never had to put on chains going over the passes. Never understood people using chains on bare roads.....bad for the roads, and their tires.

I remember taking my kids to school in your town, slipping and sliding in 2 inches of snow (in the days before I used studded tires). Got down town, and found that school was closed.............

0 Votes
Specializes in CCU (Coronary Care); Clinical Research.

i live in southern oregon and it has already snowed here once! i heard that it is supposed to snow tomorrow too (but it dosen't stick...)

funny rules...except that i am from california (but i was young and didn't have a choice!) oregonian at heart!

safe driving everyone! and happy holidays!

0 Votes
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

It's snowing at my house as I post this........gotta go to work soon....thank God it's not sticking!!

If it gets worse, I can always bed down at the hospital. Hey, there's a bed, bathroom, food, and a shower....what else could a wuss like me want?:D

0 Votes

LOL wow - those are all so true - I may have moved from Idaho to Oregon - but I grew up in California....

I have to admit though - I do think drivers in CA are more vicious than those anywhere in OR

People in Oregon seem to be a pretty happy bunch (or so it seems - I think it is as long as they get their coffee)

CA - wow - I'm not planning on heading back down there - woowhee...the things I saw people do - nuh uh...

Idaho - now if you want laid back driving - there you have it - old farts in their pickups goin' out -

lemme see - in town - five under - out on the freeway - nobody cares as long as it isnt winter since there arent cops out on those vast stretches of road....not usually....

Wyoming is even better that way....

I live near Salem - in Independence....and saw some snow and ice...nothing that bothered me...

I was laughing so hard the other day though when there was like an inch of snow here in Salem and they started closing schools and sending kids home early....geez....

:roll

0 Votes
Specializes in CCU (Coronary Care); Clinical Research.

I have heard to expect quite a bit of snow this weekend, can't remember exactly where in the state though...be careful driving!

here is my recent driving pet peeve...slow (and I mean below the speed limit) drivers. I love driving during the holidays (sarcasm here)...anyway, happy holidays!

0 Votes
+ Add a Comment