i made a comment to my coworker and he was offended. it was a meant as a harmless tease and just feel terrible about it. i knew something was wrong because my co worker sort of shut down. i asked twice what was wrong. finally today i asked again and he reminded me what it was i had done. here is the event:
i stayed over to draw a lab which had come in right at shift change. i dont like to leave things undone out of courtesy to the next shift. my co worker being nice said "hey i got this" i said, no i don't mind". he "go home, i got it" well i made a joke and "i said ok be a control freak". i was totally joking, but immediately wished i had not said it. well he walked off, i drew the lab. i found him and said i was just teasing and was sorry if it offended him. he said "no way , all is fine"
well i forgot about it. so much so that i did not even put it together. he had to remind me that was the issue. i apologized and believe me i was sincere. i told him it was meant to be funny but i see it was inappropriate and asked for him to please forgive me. he said he did but stressed that he would just want to communicate about work and patients from now on. i said of course and that i would never say anything like that again.
i can tell he is upset with me still and i don't blame him. i know i crossed the line, but i felt close enough to tease but i know i was wrong, i take responsibility and have learned something.
i believe that if he wants to stay standoffish and leery he can and i don't blame him. i just feel terrible about it. i know the best thing is just to let it go. i wont bother him again by bringing it up or trying to chit chat. i just fill like a dummy..
it helps just to write it down here. the sad part is he was the nicest guy to me, he encouraged me and taught me so much. i like him so well that is why i teased a little. but instead i hurt someone i really liked and appreciated.
i hope in time he forgives me and we can move past this. i am just sad about it. i wish i could have explained it better to him today, but i think he knows i am saddened and so sorry. thanks for listening and i would welcome any feedback
thank you all for your posts. I needed to hear what others thought. You all helped. I am going totally forget this and move . I will be polite and we can just give crosshift info. I hope he comes around but it is really not that important.
Like you all said, I apologized and that is really all I can or need to do. Thanks, Frost
Look, lemme tell you, I despise sarcasm. I think it is low brow and it gives me a very low opinion of the speaker. I assume they haven't anything truly witty, intelligent or substantive to say. However, even I, this big ole prudish stick in the mud would not take offense in this scenario. On occasions when I have found offense, I accept apologies gracefully and move on, because that is what mature adults do.
In short, you have made your amends and your colleague is acting like a twit. Leave him in all his twitishness and move on with your career and your life. He is beyond saving.
wow. Really? Sarcasm is not low brow. It is actually quite indicative of wit and intellect. Of course, there is a time and a place for it. One has to "know" their audience before they introduce this. Some people just don't "get" it.
I'm late to the party and I only read a fraction of the responses, which mostly said something like "tell him to get over it".
I totally, utterly, completelydisagree.
The op and the coworker have a fantastic working relationship. They respect each other, treat each other well and basically fall all over themselves to take on the extra duty.
That is beautiful and must be preserved. Of course the coworker is overly sensitive, but that doesn't mean you give up because of it.
OP, please go out of your way to preserve your work relationship with your coworker. Not because it is your duty, but because you recognize how rare and valuable a good work relation is.
we don't live in a world of reality, we live in a world of perceptions. ~ gerald j. simmons
i know you said you were joking, but how did you say it? laughingly or with rolling eyes (not that i'm saying you meant those words - but that maybe because you felt so close to him you thought you could joke without being obvious that you are joking? know what i mean?)
so maybe, he perceived it as you meaning those words.
you apologized, what else can you do? i know it hurts because you felt that this person was a 'friend' but unfortunately there was a miscommunication here (no fault of yours) and you should just him make the next move.
would not take offense in this scenario. On occasions when I have found offense, I accept apologies gracefully and move on, because that is what mature adults do. 
frost99
4 Posts
thank you all for your posts. I needed to hear what others thought. You all helped. I am going totally forget this and move . I will be polite and we can just give crosshift info. I hope he comes around but it is really not that important.
Like you all said, I apologized and that is really all I can or need to do. Thanks, Frost