i made a comment to my coworker and he was offended. it was a meant as a harmless tease and just feel terrible about it. i knew something was wrong because my co worker sort of shut down. i asked twice what was wrong. finally today i asked again and he reminded me what it was i had done. here is the event:
i stayed over to draw a lab which had come in right at shift change. i dont like to leave things undone out of courtesy to the next shift. my co worker being nice said "hey i got this" i said, no i don't mind". he "go home, i got it" well i made a joke and "i said ok be a control freak". i was totally joking, but immediately wished i had not said it. well he walked off, i drew the lab. i found him and said i was just teasing and was sorry if it offended him. he said "no way , all is fine"
well i forgot about it. so much so that i did not even put it together. he had to remind me that was the issue. i apologized and believe me i was sincere. i told him it was meant to be funny but i see it was inappropriate and asked for him to please forgive me. he said he did but stressed that he would just want to communicate about work and patients from now on. i said of course and that i would never say anything like that again.
i can tell he is upset with me still and i don't blame him. i know i crossed the line, but i felt close enough to tease but i know i was wrong, i take responsibility and have learned something.
i believe that if he wants to stay standoffish and leery he can and i don't blame him. i just feel terrible about it. i know the best thing is just to let it go. i wont bother him again by bringing it up or trying to chit chat. i just fill like a dummy..
it helps just to write it down here. the sad part is he was the nicest guy to me, he encouraged me and taught me so much. i like him so well that is why i teased a little. but instead i hurt someone i really liked and appreciated.
i hope in time he forgives me and we can move past this. i am just sad about it. i wish i could have explained it better to him today, but i think he knows i am saddened and so sorry. thanks for listening and i would welcome any feedback
He needs to be a big boy and learn to communicate. If what you said bothered him, he should have admitted it the first time you asked rather than denying it and then stewing about it. I personally don't find what you said offensive at all, and maybe he's overly sensitive like the others have said, but still he needs to learn how to express himself rather than holding things in.
I agree with the other posters....he seems a little oversensitive to me. I tend to be sarcastic and when I feel comfortable with people I can totally do what you did. For me, I would not have given it a second thought if you had said that to me. Since he was offended, you were sensitive to that and apologized. That should be the end of it and he really needs to get over it. If he keeps his panties in a wad about it, that is HIS deal, not yours and I would not lose any sleep about it. I wonder if his basic personality is a little passive agressive and he is enjoying seeing you squirm and fret about it. Sheesh...people need to lighten up!!!! Relax and don't worry about it anymore!!!
wow he is overreacting for real, especially since you said you two were cool. don't kiss his a$$, you apologized now he needs to be an adult and get over it.
that is what i always say--don't kiss anyone's a--s--s--. thats selling yourself out! i see so much of it --it sickens me.
Dont give him the upper hand-basically more control..Obviously you hit the nail on the head:)He was unreasonable drama queen and he should appologize to you for being difficult..IMO
I think you should give him a dash of his own medicine....be completely work only with him, don't smile and be cheerful be very business like/monotone with him don't go out of your way bending over backwards if he is just going to be stuck up and overly sensitive. why even waste your time on someone who is so serious, least this exp has shown you he isnt someone you'd click with. i think if you do that he will then have LESS control over you...obv he is getting off on being able to upset you and get to you in that level. Shake it off ! Good luck, i have been there with coworkers!
Look, lemme tell you, I despise sarcasm. I think it is low brow and it gives me a very low opinion of the speaker. I assume they haven't anything truly witty, intelligent or substantive to say. However, even I, this big ole prudish stick in the mud would not take offense in this scenario. On occasions when I have found offense, I accept apologies gracefully and move on, because that is what mature adults do.
In short, you have made your amends and your colleague is acting like a twit. Leave him in all his twitishness and move on with your career and your life. He is beyond saving.
Is he in middle school? Because i'm pretty sure if he had an issue he should have addressed that when you immediately asked him what was wrong. He obviously way over reacted immediately ior you probably wouldn't have even noticed. To hold a grudge and basically say I don't want to be friendly with you over THAT comment is beyond ridiculous. Not worth your time. I agree with other posters that this is someone you want to be careful around, but from now on don't even try to be friendly because obviously it's not what he wants. Just wow...
would not take offense in this scenario. On occasions when I have found offense, I accept apologies gracefully and move on, because that is what mature adults do.
Elleveein, LVN
325 Posts
**** him if he cant take a joke.