Nursing School Blues - I feel trapped!

Posted
by TheNGTKingRN TheNGTKingRN Member

Specializes in General Surgery.

I'm sitting here in my bedroom, mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed. In the back of my mind is the nagging reality that in just a few hours my freedom will come to conclusion, that my joy will be spoiled by time constrains and all the other evils that come with this profession. I ponder about how my day will go. I begin to feel uneasy at the thought of reliving past nightmares, and my heart races just thinking of my impending hours of doom. My mind contemplates all the possibilities. A drug addict patient that saps my energy and time, rendering other patients with less care. Perhaps being understaffed and experiencing that anxiety that I will never catch up, that time has become my nemesis. Perhaps it'll be the kind of day that my patience will be challenge by unruly family members. Perhaps it will be day I am not able to adequately nurture my body the nutrients it needs. Perhaps it'll be the type of day where all I can do is let the tears stream down in the solitude of the restroom. Perhaps it'll be the kind of day where my lack of time is translated to patient as lack of care. Perhaps it'll be the day that all my walls come closing in and that my skies fall and I say enough is enough and leave this profession forever - that situation is my most feared. Hunger and the need for a roof keeps my torture alive, and my torture keeps me alive.

enuf_already

enuf_already

789 Posts

And perhaps it will be a day where you go home feeling good that in spite of a few bumps, you gave your patients excellent, safe care and look forward to going back to do the same tomorrow!

Hang in there. Not every day is a horror story.

Coffee Nurse

Coffee Nurse, BSN, RN

Specializes in NICU. Has 13 years experience. 955 Posts

Wow.

I think you need an attitude adjustment. Or a new career.

Not being snarky - we all have bad days at work, but if you're thinking of your job as "torture" then maybe it's not where you should be.

CCuser

CCuser

103 Posts

I totally understand!!!

Nursing today has changed. Even since I came into the profession ten years ago.

The nurse is now the price that is paid for the decisions of administration. And the patients get to decide what to do with us. We work in a vice.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN

Has 6 years experience. 1,547 Posts

I can relate. I feel an enormous amount of anxiety when I think about going back to work. If I have four days off, I literally worry each day that I have to go back in four ...three ...two ...one day(s). Once I'm there and get started, I'm fine. I'm not super-human, but I do my best and am satisfied with my efforts 99.9% of the time.

Farawyn

Has 25 years experience. 12,646 Posts

I can relate. I feel an enormous amount of anxiety when I think about going back to work. If I have four days off, I literally worry each day that I have to go back in four ...three ...two ...one day(s). Once I'm there and get started, I'm fine. I'm not super-human, but I do my best and am satisfied with my efforts 99.9% of the time.

I felt like this, too- In the 2 jobs I worked over my career that I loathed. Each time, when I switched positions/paths, that feeling of dread left me. It wasn't my career that was bad, it was the job I was working at the time.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN

Has 6 years experience. 1,547 Posts

My work environment is actually pretty good, I'm just not a spontaneous person. Not knowing what will be there when I get there is what kills me. Our ratios, patients (most of them), CNAs and charge nurses are great 99% of the time.

TheNGTKingRN

TheNGTKingRN

Specializes in General Surgery. 208 Posts

Wow.

I think you need an attitude adjustment. Or a new career.

Not being snarky - we all have bad days at work, but if you're thinking of your job as "torture" then maybe it's not where you should be.

I think you need to realize that not everyone is as perfect as you are. Not everyone is the patron saint of nursing. Not everyone is the mighty nurse, that you are.

Excuse me while I kneel before you and forgive myself for feeling frustrated in the phase of adversity, a learning curve, and acuity that's driving me off the wall. Excuse me while I kiss your Danskos. You are after all Gods gift to Nursing. You are the prime example of nursing. You are the REINCARNATION of FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE herself.

Edited by NRSKarenRN
TOS

TheNGTKingRN

TheNGTKingRN

Specializes in General Surgery. 208 Posts

My work environment is actually pretty good, I'm just not a spontaneous person. Not knowing what will be there when I get there is what kills me. Our ratios, patients (most of them), CNAs and charge nurses are great 99% of the time.

YES! The spontaneity kills me. My day is going smoothly and then it seems as if everything hits the fan and when it hits the fan it hits hard! IVs coming out on patients requesting morphine for 10/10 pain. Two admits rolling through the doors, an impatient patient at your desk rushing their discharge paperwork, and a call bell queen calling me in to hand her the darn water jug, oh and and can't forget the family members asking me for blankets, coffee, a back rub, and to fix the TV. YES all this at the same time.

NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Vents, Telemetry, Home Care, Home infusion. Has 45 years experience. 11 Articles; 17,391 Posts

Moved to AN's General Nursing Student forum for member advice and support.

There are bad days as students, especially sleep deprived Fridays as having to hand in the dreaded care plan. Then you get that rare complex patient that you dread seeing. You assist the primary RN in a very complicated dressing change then bathe the client muttering supportive comments -- a ray of sunshine escapes their face and they thank for for making them feel whole again!. The aha!!!! moment when it all clicks together.... These tidbits of thanks and hope, along with saved patient notes are what you drag out during the dark days.

Hoping you see the nursing light someday.

mailchimp

mailchimp

33 Posts

You're traaaapped, maaan.

mailchimp

mailchimp

33 Posts

Naw but for real, if you feel tortured going to work everyday, you do need to find a new path. No one wants a nurse who doesn't wanna be there. And most mental health professionals would probably say you're hurting yourself and those around you by being such a freakin drag.

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