resume critique assistance-please offer suggestions!

Nurses Job Hunt

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Hello forum members!

I am a new grad RN, and would like to ask if anyone would be so kind as to provide critiques on my resume. Please forgive the repeat posting, the previous post format came out pretty funky! I'd certainly appreciate any suggestions anyone would provide. I Thank You SO much in advance for your suggestions!

Lisa

CAREER Committed to compassionate care for others

SUMMARY Focused on the physical, mental and spiritual well-being of clients

STATEMENT Dedicated to meeting the needs of those experiencing compromised

health status

EDUCATION Associate Degree of Applied Science in Nursing

Cuyahoga Community College Cleveland, Ohio

December 2012

GPA: 2.75

  • Gained professional experience in the nursing arena via 3

semesters of clinical rotation, established proficiency in electronic documentation

  • Established excellent rapport with both clients as well as hospital staff

Huron School of NursingCleveland, Ohio

December 2010 Termination of

RN program

GPA: 3.5

  • Demonstrated the ability to perform introductory procedures within the clinical

setting

  • Achieved competence in the area of electronic clinical documentation

Master of Arts - Community Counseling

John Carroll UniversityUniversity Heights, OH

December 2008 GPA: 4.0

Maintained Dean's List status throughout educational experience

Bachelor of Arts - Psychology

Cleveland State University

Cleveland, Ohio

May 2004

GPA: 3.06

Named to Dean's List for two semesters for outstanding

academic performance

PROFESSIONAL Applewood Centers, Inc.

EXPERIENCE Behavioral Mental Health Counselor

January 2009-present

  • Demonstrates experience and expertise in all areas of mental health counseling

including assessment, diagnosis, treatment, and evaluation

  • Achieves success in linkage and coordination to community resources based on client needs

Alego Health Care Eastlake,

Ohio

EPIC Support System Associate

May 2011-present

  • Provides instruction and guidance to clinical staff throughout implementation, introductory use, and updates of EPIC electronic documentation system

The Mail Room Medina, Ohio

Account Associate

January 2007-July 2008

  • Excelled in customer satisfaction, resulting in the addition several new customer accounts

Xerox Corporation

Cleveland, Ohio

Account Associate

September 1997-August 2006

  • Achieved superior customer satisfaction in high-stress environment, as illustrated by perfect 10 score on customer satisfaction survey
  • Guided backup employees through training process
  • Succeeded in nearly doubling workload volume over a 1 year period, resulting in net increase in profit of 20%

RELATED Familial caretaker

EXPERIENCE

  • Performed care of physically disabled parent for 15 years, grandparent for 3 years- included continual assessments of health status, all aspects of tracheostomy care

including suctioning as needed,

maintenance of insertion site,

cleansing and sanitation of cannula,

and daily medication administration

  • Provides diabetes care for an elderly parent, including blood glucose monitoring, determination of insulin dose based on assessment results, daily subcutaneous injections, evaluation of interventions, and oral medication administration
  • Monitors and maintains care for an elderly parent in the moderate stages of dementia via daily medication regimen, providing meals, assisting with activities of daily living, and ensuring home safety

LICENSES AND Registered Nurse, March 2013, Professional Mental Health Counselor, March 2009-

CERTIFICATION present

HONORS AND Personal accomplishments

AWARDS

  • Inducted into Beta Chi Counseling Academic and Professional Honor Society due to

personal and professional excellence, June 2005-present

  • Awarded membership in Alpha Sigma Nu National Jesuit Honor Society for distinguished service to others, scholarship, and loyalty, June 2008-present

Specializes in ICU.

The formatting on this does not look good. I would go to a website that has different templates for writing a resume and fill it out that way. This is hard to follow and I don't quite understand it. Your work experience should be on the first page. You should also not have anymore really than 1-2 pages for a resume. People don't like to read long resumes and it will get trashed almost immediately. Also it kind of seems all over the place. Your relevant nursing stuff should be together. I think a resume writing website or a resume writing book would benefit you greatly.

I'm confused about the Huron nursing program. I'm assuming the program was terminated, not you. Might want to state the institution name and years attended only, in the title. And briefly clarify in the body. Also, look at this format error under Licenses and Certifications: ".... March 2009- CERTIFICATION present." Edit to add: Oh. Now I see. The format is just funky in your post, but is probably correct on your actual document.

One other thing. In years past, conventional wisdom seemed to be that one should leave the "I" word out of a resume.

Times have changed. It's OK to personalize a bit, so that a resume is far less robotic and generic. For instance, "I was appointed to such and such," or "I was honored with such and such, and in this position, I greatly enjoyed the opportunity to..." See what I mean? You've got great skills, tons of relevant education, but you sound like milk toast.

Also, there are many inconsistencies with switching between third person past tense, and present tense voice. When you write "performed such and such" in one sentence, and in the next sentence you write, "Excels, provides, monitors, etc.," t is very awkward.

I'd get rid of the present tense all together, because it sounds like a posted job description, not part of a resume.

Clean it up, and personalize a bit--there is a way you can personalize tastefully, professionally, and just enough that a glimpse of "you" is apparent to the reader.

Hello Heathermaizey,

Thank You for your critique. Regarding the formatting, I copied and pasted from a Word document, which altered the formatting immensely, perhaps this is the reason it is hard to follow. Would you please elaborate on the parts that you do not understand? Also, I am not following what you mean by 'relevant nursing stuff.' I have no professional nursing experience, I have the education, and life experience. Do you have any suggestions for incorporating my life experience more effectively into the resume? I Thank You in advance for your suggestions.

Hello Guttercat,

Thank You for your response. You are correct in your assumption, the program was terminated in the middle of my 1st semester. Do you have any suggestions for ways to clarify this in the body of the resume? Regarding my use of tense, I used the past tense to indicate things that I've done in the past, and present tense to indicate things that I am currently doing. In terms of my 'related experience,' can you suggest a way to incorporate my past experience into my present experience more seamlessly? I Thank You in advance for your suggestions.

Specializes in geriatrics.

Hello and welcome to AN! I agree with others: watch your verb tenses. Proper format is provided, demonstrated, initiated, etc, and you're switching tenses.

Do not use 'I' in a resume, and omit the summary statements. This is not required and wastes valuable space. The format is hard on the eyes, too. There are some really good resume samples on the internet. Monster.com, About.com have sample nurse resumes and cover letters.

Hello Joanna73,

Thank You for your critique. Regarding the use of tense, I use the past tense to indicate things I did in the past, and present tense for things I'm doing currently. How do you suggest I clarify this in the resume without changing tense? Also, due to the fact that I cut and pasted the document, the original format is very different from the way it appears.

Specializes in geriatrics.

Proper resume etiquttte is always past tense. Stick to that format, regardless of what you're doing right now.

Risa,

Great resume! agree with previous poster - it must just be the AN post that is making the formatting a little "off".

Anyway, you have great experience, but I think you could make it stand out a bit better. Did you go to a hospital school of nursing, then the associate's degree program? I would definitely leave out the word "termination" at all costs, hospitals now use resume-bots that scan what you write for negative terms like "termination". On my resume, I have "class of 20XX" for my dates. I would put your home care/trache experience first, then your mental health stuff. I would leave off your clinical rotations because they're not really professional experience - just educational experience. Best of luck to you!

Hello MissM,RN!

Thank You SO MUCH for your critique. Yes, I did attend a hospital school of nursing which closed after my 1st semester, then transferred to the associate's degree program. As per your suggestion, I did remove the word 'termination'-THANK YOU FOR THAT SUGGESTION and advice-that's AWESOME!! Also, you nailed it when you suggested I put my home care experience first-I was TRULY looking for suggestions into ways to highlight my life experience-I have DECADES of it, which is why I chose nursing, and was looking for a way to make this stand out, I know I'm WELL qualified for a new grad position, I just need a boost to get an interview!! I'm VERY comfortable once I get to that point , and feel that the biggest step is contact for the initial interview. THANK YOU AGAIN!!

You're so welcome, and really - best of luck to you!

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