You Know You're In A Redneck Hospital When.....

  1. - The ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.

    - Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.

    - Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.

    - The Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.

    - The Anesthesiologist is in bib overalls, and feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.

    - Your Gynecologist is Ernest.

    - Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.

    - The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.

    - Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.

    - Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof.

    - Immunizations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard's feet, owl's beaks and pig's ears.

    - Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel.

    - You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.

    - You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.

    - The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.
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    About betts

    Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 1,024; Likes: 20
    Nursing Mgmt.


  3. by   teeituptom
    Howdy Yall
    From deep in the heart of Texas

    Personally I always did prefer my walker to have a gun rack.

    The chief of surgery's last name was Knifechief {thats true}

    Keep it in the short grass yall