work dictionary (funny terms)

  1. Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
    advancement by kissing up to the boss

    Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was
    missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

    Seagull Manager - A manager, who flies in , makes a lot of noise, craps
    over everything and then leaves.

    Salmon day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
    only to get screwed and die in the end.

    Chain saw consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the
    employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

    CLM - Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe and ill
    advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot
    is a serious CLM.

    Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above
    the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
    profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
    to solve.

    Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to
    leave the company or department soon.

    404 - Someone who is clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
    "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
    located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him...he's a 404, man."

    Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same
    no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
    subdivisions. Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica that I forgot
    what city we were in."

    Ohno-second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
    you've just made a BIG mistake.

    Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
    electronic device to get it to work again.

    Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate
    relationship, as in "This is Dylan,"

    Body Nazis - Hard core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down
    on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

    Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.

    Idea Hamsters - People who always seem to have their idea generators

    Mouse Potato - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch

    Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
    farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

    SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
    stops working to stat home with the kids. Stands for "Single Income, Two
    Children, Oppressive Mortgage."

    Starter Marriage - A short lived first marriage that ends in divorce with
    not kids, no property and no regrets.

    Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and

    Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
    the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

    Xerox Subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's

    Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
    office or work group.

    G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well paying job people take in
    order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are
    solvent again.

    Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but
    you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
    prime example

    Yuppie Food Stamps - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
    everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We
    owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
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  3. by   hogan4736
    stumbled on this
  4. by   locolorenzo22
    what about "congestion": What you pray to have when you get a patient with loose, liquid stool and no way for them to move to toliet.....see also...
    "mouthbreather", about the same, but they do it when they're not working out....
  5. by   OpusNurse
    Mushrooms: the minions who are kept in the dark and fed Bullsh**.
  6. by   chaosRN
    HAHAHAHAHA Thank you for a well needed laugh!!! These are great!
  7. by   Crueltiming
    On the ambulance, we had a "Code Fat"...meant "Newscameras on scene...suck your gut in "